what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sun Sep 18, 2016 5:47 am
what's got 100 feet and stinks of pee?
The conga at an old peoples home.....
The conga at an old peoples home.....
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 12 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl](https://2img.net/h/i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y474/azriel59/th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl.gif)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by David H Sun Sep 18, 2016 7:27 am
azriel wrote:As usual, a rude joke from me................
Dare I look...?
{{
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sun Sep 18, 2016 12:25 pm
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by halfwise Sun Sep 18, 2016 1:46 pm
Loved the Rolex one.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sun Sep 18, 2016 2:06 pm
- Spoiler:
- woman decides to have cosmetic surgery on her "lady bits", after 4 kids it got loose and airy.
she wakes up after surgery with 3 bunches of roses on her bed.
she asks the nurse, where did they come from?
nurse replies,
1 from yr husband,
2nd from yr surgeon, he reckons it's the best surgery he's done
3rd from the man in the burns unit, he'd like to thank you for his new ears....
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sun Sep 18, 2016 2:11 pm
I bought the wife a new bag and belt for christmas ......
...........the hoover works brilliantly now!
...........the hoover works brilliantly now!
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sun Sep 18, 2016 2:16 pm
- Spoiler:
- A bloke goes to buy a blow up doll, the assistant asks if he would like male
or female, he says female. He is then asked black or white, to which he
replies white. He is then asked would you like christian or muslim, he says
all i want is a blow up doll what has religon got to do with it, and the
assistant says that the muslim dolls have a habit of blowing themselves up
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by halfwise Sun Sep 18, 2016 2:59 pm
pretty epic de-Norcing going on here...
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Then it gets complicated...
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Orwell Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:53 am
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:48 am
that's still making me giggle.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:09 pm
I know Figgs my imagination is doing over time _________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Mrs Figg Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:14 am
Mr Methane. you have been warned.
- Spoiler:
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Wed Sep 28, 2016 6:55 pm
OMG 
My kids are gonna laugh at that one, ( they are all in their 30's & as soft in the head as I am )
My kids are gonna laugh at that one, ( they are all in their 30's & as soft in the head as I am ) _________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sun Oct 02, 2016 11:05 am
At last a cure for premature ejaculation !
Couldn't come soon enough
Couldn't come soon enough
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:49 am
Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one...
I think he needs Help.
I think he needs Help.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:49 am
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided: if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided: if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:52 am
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football.
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:52 am
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand.
It's seven.
It's seven.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:53 am
The doctor gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him.
Judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved.
Judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Eldorion Sat Oct 15, 2016 7:42 am
to all of those
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Pettytyrant101 Sat Oct 15, 2016 9:38 pm
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Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
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