Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

by malickfan Wed Mar 04, 2015 2:58 pm

Bluebottle wrote:"'Ah, I see what you mean,' said Ridcully. 'You're thinking: what kind of bird stops flyin' around for a quick smoke?'

'A puffin,' said the Bursar."

— Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

by chris63 Wed Mar 04, 2015 3:00 pm

Not funny Eldo Smile

by azriel Wed Mar 04, 2015 4:47 pm

I thought it was ? Very Happy

by Bluebottle Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:22 pm

date idea: you.. me.. i lay in ur arms.. bleeding everywhere.. diamond heist gone wrong.. im a fuckin rat..

by halfwise Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:36 pm

I've read it 3 times, tried it out in 3 different moods, and I still don't get it. scratch

by chris63 Thu Mar 12, 2015 6:15 am

by Bluebottle Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:29 am

halfwise wrote:I've read it 3 times, tried it out in 3 different moods, and I still don't get it.

It's just a subversion of the commonly held idea of what a date should be. Wink

So "date idea: you.. me.. i lay in ur arms.. " is the expectation

And "bleeding everywhere.. diamond heist gone wrong.. im a fuckin rat.." the subversion.

by halfwise Thu Mar 12, 2015 1:06 pm

I think you need to woodshop it a bit...

by bungobaggins Thu Mar 12, 2015 4:54 pm

A rat like a narc? Not like a rat rat? scratch

by Bluebottle Thu Mar 12, 2015 5:22 pm

Yeah, think so. Smile

halfwise wrote:I think you need to woodshop it a bit...

Oh, it's not mine. I just saw it somewhere and thought it mildly amusing. Wink

by chris63 Thu Mar 12, 2015 7:05 pm

The inventor of throat lozengers has died.... There will be no coffin at his funeral....

by chris63 Thu Mar 12, 2015 7:13 pm

As I walked into a restaurant last night the manager stopped me and said, "I'm really sorry sir, but we have no seats available."

"Oh right." I sighed, "Do you mind if I just use your toilet?"

"Not at all." he replied.

I said, "Great, I'll have the mixed grill then please."

by halfwise Thu Mar 12, 2015 7:29 pm

by Eldorion Thu Mar 12, 2015 7:36 pm

That reminds me of this picture:

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 17 6b3GR90

It's even worse than my worst gross bathroom story, which was sitting in the stall next to a guy who ever time he strained and a shit plunked into the water, he spat on the floor in front of them. He spat at least 20 times during the time I was in there.

by azriel Thu Mar 12, 2015 7:52 pm

You poor devil ! Ive had the old biddy with Diarrhea thats been so squirty, loud & smelly & then we both come out of our cubicles & slowly walk to wash your hands whilst eyeing each other up, knowing full well Old biddy has just blocked the drains & Im seeing double pale

by David H Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:15 pm

I once came out of a stall to find a paranoid junkie with an 8" filleting knife in his hand, waiting for me... pale

by azriel Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:26 pm

by Bluebottle Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:29 pm

That must be one of those situation where you're happy you've just been to the toilet. affraid

by azriel Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:45 pm

Paddy stood at the bar getting pissed, trying to work out why he’s only got three brothers when his sister has four.

by Bluebottle Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:51 pm

by azriel Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:59 pm

I walked into an explosives shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card.

It all went horribly wrong when the cashier asked for my pin.

by David H Thu Mar 12, 2015 11:23 pm

azriel wrote:
It all went horribly wrong when the cashier asked for my pin.

An understandable mistake. Hardly your fault, Az.

by azriel Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:47 pm