what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

+16
Manwe Sulimo
Eru
leelee
Forest Shepherd
Ringdrotten
Norc
Orwell
Amarië
David H
bungobaggins
halfwise
Eldorion
Nagual
Mrs Figg
Bluebottle
chris63
20 posters

Page 6 of 40 Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7 ... 23 ... 40  Next

Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:40 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 11076250_10153179880824146_7261189324521049222_n

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:20 am

Oh FFS ! lol!

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:28 am

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.

She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that her daughter’s fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."

So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:29 am

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:33 am

I was raped by a group of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:36 am

went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises...

The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."

I said, "Yes, that's the one."

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:32 pm

azriel wrote:John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."


Laughing

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 20539
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:10 am

azriel wrote: went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises...

The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."

I said, "Yes, that's the one."

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_inline_o3dwd39UIi1tljguh_500

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:12 am

I told my girlfriend I'd had sex with her sister .
She said "you disgust me".
I said "No ,we never talked about you at all" .

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:36 am

:facepalm: Laughing

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Sun May 01, 2016 4:30 am

What's the most sensitive organs in the body whilst masturbating ?







Your ears !

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Mrs Figg Sun May 01, 2016 7:28 pm

Laughing
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Bluebottle Tue May 03, 2016 2:05 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Db19c0a5c9ec61839c3b981797c0436f

_________________
“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500
Bluebottle
Bluebottle
Concerned citizen

Posts : 10099
Join date : 2013-11-09
Age : 37

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Tue May 03, 2016 2:30 pm

Very Happy

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Thu May 05, 2016 12:40 am

lol!

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu May 05, 2016 6:55 am

{{{ Laughing }}}

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 46817
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 53
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Bluebottle Sun May 08, 2016 2:50 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_o6jtw30HY11ugza5uo1_500what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_o6jtw30HY11ugza5uo2_500
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_inline_o6k5tdQutD1r0rrde_540
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_inline_o6ksd3CadS1rxyp13_500

_________________
“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500
Bluebottle
Bluebottle
Concerned citizen

Posts : 10099
Join date : 2013-11-09
Age : 37

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Sun May 08, 2016 3:09 pm

Poor wolfy Very Happy

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15644
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Sun May 08, 2016 3:52 pm

Very Happy

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 20539
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by David H Sun May 08, 2016 5:05 pm

I'd hate to be the one who tries to collect the fines pale

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 1280px-Male_kodiak_bear_face  what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 UJpDi what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Mumbea10
David H
David H
Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest

Posts : 7194
Join date : 2011-11-18

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Mrs Figg Sun May 08, 2016 5:18 pm

Very Happy leesten to the cheeldren of the night, heeere how they siiiing
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Sun May 08, 2016 5:24 pm

Vhat music they make!

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 20539
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Mon May 09, 2016 5:32 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 12800180_1354577701234655_4414115390607129502_n

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by David H Mon May 09, 2016 6:28 am

As long as we're on the subject of rock bits Chris.... Smile

Mulu National Park, Borneo
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Cave_rock-sex

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 1280px-Male_kodiak_bear_face  what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 UJpDi what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Mumbea10
David H
David H
Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest

Posts : 7194
Join date : 2011-11-18

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Mon May 09, 2016 7:02 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Angelina-jolie-looking-up_48

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 6 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8747
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

Page 6 of 40 Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7 ... 23 ... 40  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum