what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

yes, Ringdrotten, but so true

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand, nothing. So, I tried with my left hand, nothing. My wife tried with her right hand, nothing. Her left hand, nothing. Her mouth, nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth, still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the bloody lid off of the specimen cup !!

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/jokes-only-nerds-will-understand

A lot of those are old, but some of them were actually kind of funny.

I got most of them

 

it works b/c bricks normally get laid ontop and next to 1another but laid can also mean an instance of sexual intercourse

Where would we be without you, CC?

Three men: an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone I have a microchip in my hand."

Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse.

The others raised their eyebrows. "Will you look at that" says Paddy, "I'm getting a fax."

 

NOTICE TO CITIZENS, RESIDENTS, and ILLEGAL NEOPETS:

THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN REMOVED B/C BECAUSE!

HERE'S MOLLY RINGWALD IN A HAT.



HAVE A PLEASENT AND ENJOYABLE DAY,


Interim Chief Moderator

oh god no.. gross..

Well now I'm curious about what the original image (pre-Molly Ringwald) was. And who is the Interim Chief Moderator (I have my guesses)?

A hairy ballsack walking a sperm as a guiding dog.

I am glad it's removed..

wtf was that all about? whos the ICM?

Doesn't the delightful randomness of the response give it away? I picked out who it was even before reaching the picture.

I wish I was a moderator, I would delete quite a few of Pettys posts.  

Didn't think it was bad. Funny but not bad. Lol

Thee hee! Atta girl!