what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

+16
Manwe Sulimo
Eru
leelee
Forest Shepherd
Ringdrotten
Norc
Orwell
Amarië
David H
bungobaggins
halfwise
Eldorion
Nagual
Mrs Figg
Bluebottle
chris63
20 posters

Page 39 of 39 Previous  1 ... 21 ... 37, 38, 39

Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Thu Jun 16, 2022 11:14 am

Laughing

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15423
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 63
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Mon Jul 18, 2022 11:51 am

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15423
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 63
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Mon Jul 18, 2022 12:07 pm

Very Happy

I saw a german take-off on fairy tales, where the evil queen was blonde and insisted that everybody tell brunette jokes. The problem was they had to keep explaining them to her.

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19524
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:10 am

:facepalm:

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:14 pm

Very Happy

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 15423
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 63
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Wed Jul 27, 2022 5:01 am

Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo
accident.

They put me in the ICU.

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Wed Jul 27, 2022 11:42 am

Is a peakaboo also some kind of conveyance in Ozzie speak?

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19524
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Thu Jul 28, 2022 12:29 am

Conveyance?

Peekaboo is a game you usually play with little kids.


noun
a game played with a young child, which involves hiding and suddenly reappearing, saying ‘peekaboo’.

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Thu Jul 28, 2022 12:37 am

Drank a bottle of invisible ink yesterday.
Spent the day in A and E waiting to be seen.

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Thu Jul 28, 2022 3:07 am

Trying to tie it to an accident worthy of an ICU. The game doesn't do it.

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19524
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Forest Shepherd Thu Jul 28, 2022 5:37 pm

I got it. Smile

_________________
"The earth was rushing past like a river or a sea below him. Trees and water, and green grass, hurried away beneath. A great roar of wild animals rose as they rushed over the Zoological Gardens, mixed with a chattering of monkeys and a screaming of birds; but it died away in a moment behind them. And now there was nothing but the roofs of houses, sweeping along like a great torrent of stones and rocks. Chimney-pots fell, and tiles flew from the roofs..."
Forest Shepherd
Forest Shepherd
The Honorable Lord Gets-Banned-a-lot of Forumshire

Posts : 5534
Join date : 2013-11-02
Age : 31
Location : California

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Thu Jul 28, 2022 8:04 pm

Oh I got it immediately, but didn't see how a baby game could get you laid up in the hospital, so it didn't work for me.

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19524
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Amarië Thu Jul 28, 2022 8:48 pm

At least the ink joke had the underlying social commentary of health care issues, substance abuse and/or child endangerment.

_________________
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
One does not simply woke into Mordor.
-Mrs Figg

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
-Marcus Aurelius

 #amarieco
Amarië
Amarië
Dark Planet Ambassador

Posts : 5348
Join date : 2011-06-10
Age : 41
Location : The Dark Planet Embassy, Main str. Needlehole.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Forest Shepherd Fri Jul 29, 2022 6:09 am

Regular barrel of laughs you two.

_________________
"The earth was rushing past like a river or a sea below him. Trees and water, and green grass, hurried away beneath. A great roar of wild animals rose as they rushed over the Zoological Gardens, mixed with a chattering of monkeys and a screaming of birds; but it died away in a moment behind them. And now there was nothing but the roofs of houses, sweeping along like a great torrent of stones and rocks. Chimney-pots fell, and tiles flew from the roofs..."
Forest Shepherd
Forest Shepherd
The Honorable Lord Gets-Banned-a-lot of Forumshire

Posts : 5534
Join date : 2013-11-02
Age : 31
Location : California

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Amarië Fri Jul 29, 2022 10:46 am

Laughing

_________________
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
One does not simply woke into Mordor.
-Mrs Figg

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
-Marcus Aurelius

 #amarieco
Amarië
Amarië
Dark Planet Ambassador

Posts : 5348
Join date : 2011-06-10
Age : 41
Location : The Dark Planet Embassy, Main str. Needlehole.

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Sun Sep 04, 2022 5:07 am

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Sep 04, 2022 5:23 pm

{{ Laughing }}

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45511
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 51
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Sep 17, 2022 7:47 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 306484920-10225885752002447-4161311007659638779-n

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45511
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 51
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Tue Sep 20, 2022 3:08 am

lol!

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise Mon Oct 03, 2022 2:38 pm

A Scot walks into a chemists shop (pharmacy) and reaches into his sporran. He pulls out a well used prophylactic and slaps it down on the counter and says to the pharmacist “How much to repair that?”

The pharmacist picked it up, poured some water in and watched a drop form at the tip. He replied, “Ach laddie you’re right, it’s got a bit of a hole. A bit of latex and a bit of rubber cement I could repair for around ten pence but it would only cost fifteen for a brand new one”

The Scot reaches across the counter, picks it up, puts it back in his sporran and says “ I’ll take under advisement. Be back in a day or two.” and out the door he goes.

Two days later he comes back in, the pharmacist looks at him and says “You’re back. Have you decided what you’re going to do?”. The Scot replies “Aye, the regiment has decided upon replacement.”.

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19524
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Tue Nov 01, 2022 12:54 pm

My friend asked me,”Why are you carrying a 9 foot book?”

I said,”It’s a long story.”

_________________
what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Z93Cq
chris63
chris63
Adventurer

Posts : 8525
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia

Back to top Go down

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 39 Empty Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Nov 02, 2022 3:13 pm

{{ :facepalm: Laughing }}

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45511
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 51
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

Page 39 of 39 Previous  1 ... 21 ... 37, 38, 39

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum