what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:00 am
What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?
You get someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
You get someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
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“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 Tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500](https://33.media.tumblr.com/de58a4b1ea8094e414d274be9532e12d/tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500.gif)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by halfwise Mon Apr 04, 2016 1:18 pm
You're on a roll, Blue.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Mon Apr 04, 2016 1:56 pm
halfwise wrote:You're on a roll, Blue.
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“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Mon Apr 04, 2016 3:40 pm
Ham or cheese ?
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl](https://2img.net/h/i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y474/azriel59/th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl.gif)
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 Jean-b11](https://i.servimg.com/u/f65/17/86/44/91/th/jean-b11.jpg)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Amarië Mon Apr 04, 2016 5:03 pm
azriel wrote:Ham or cheese ?
*throws a sheep, a drum and a snake off a cliff*
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#amarieco
One does not simply woke into Mordor.
-Mrs Figg
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
-Marcus Aurelius
#amarieco
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Mon Apr 04, 2016 5:09 pm
Baaaaaaaaaaah... Dum.. Tssssssssss....
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“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Mon Apr 04, 2016 6:36 pm
SEAGOON: Now, what else do we need?
BLOODNOK: A picture of Queen Victoria.
SEAGOON: (narrative) On Bloodnok's advice, I also purchased the following vital equipment.
MILLIGAN: One knee-action, self-reciprocating Christmas Pudding gun.
SECOMBE: One hand painted inflatable Christmas Pudding decoy with rubber hollow.
SELLERS: One portable plastic and gravel road.
MILLIGAN: One long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
SECOMBE: On waterproof cover for same.
SELLERS: One same.
MILLIGAN: Thirty-three boxes of yellow kosher boots.
SECOMBE: Another long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
SELLERS: One uncooked leather trilby with sugar feather.
MILLIGAN: One sixty foot explodable granite statue with built in plunger
SECOMBE: Detailed plans of what to do with long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
BLOODNOK: Right, now, pack all that into the piano and burn it to ashes.
SEAGOON: To ashes?
BLOODNOK: Yes, they're much, much lighter to carry.
(The international Christmas pudding)
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“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Wed Apr 06, 2016 11:30 am
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 12717993_994973947256032_1211708359775184297_n](https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/12717993_994973947256032_1211708359775184297_n.jpg?oh=62472fe8a14c2b253267d44216a40a82&oe=5772EBFF)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Wed Apr 06, 2016 11:40 am
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 12670766_10205432503405843_2985262254518666960_n](https://fbcdn-photos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xlp1/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/12670766_10205432503405843_2985262254518666960_n.jpg?oh=c993c7358b8e29271dac8ea9d9bd0090&oe=577220F7&__gda__=1467581221_4c9f38ff7a04d97ce4b01397fb96229a)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Wed Apr 06, 2016 12:12 pm
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Mon Apr 11, 2016 6:27 am
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 05c83759-0aaf-4fe3-b5d6-c528efd98a14](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-LlkNNpCEoeQ/VwrhnphAtAI/AAAAAAAATv8/1iY5JIrVU5oBJNbQ4R8L7fm2X9VditHKw/w263-h320-no/05c83759-0aaf-4fe3-b5d6-c528efd98a14)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:27 am
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Tue Apr 12, 2016 7:07 am
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 11813357_870247479679749_5604157100744534601_n](https://fbcdn-photos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-0/p320x320/11813357_870247479679749_5604157100744534601_n.jpg?oh=9c0bd983cb54378a35b8d36affd2010c&oe=57840DAB&__gda__=1471422540_49fb88e857e2ac656c5d828fcba4fed2)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Tue Apr 12, 2016 9:38 am
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Apr 14, 2016 4:06 am
I hired an Eastern European girl as a cleaner. It took her five fucking hours to hoover the lounge.
Turns out she was a Slovak.
Turns out she was a Slovak.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Apr 14, 2016 4:07 am
My mate started a business selling bonsai trees. Business is doing so well, he's looking for smaller premises
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Apr 14, 2016 4:09 am
A couple of years ago a mate of mine emigrated to Canada where he went to work for himself as a lumberjack . However because of all the on site accidents in the industry, the health and safety department has insisted that workers can't work on their own.They have to work in trees
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:37 am
Oh FFS ! 
that last one Love the Slovak one ....... & the Bonsai one So...what Im saying is... I like 'em all
that last one Love the Slovak one ....... & the Bonsai one So...what Im saying is... I like 'em all _________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Nagual Thu Apr 14, 2016 1:18 pm
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because the lactose.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Nagual Thu Apr 14, 2016 1:22 pm
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Fri Apr 15, 2016 8:26 am
Made me giggle Nagual. ty
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Fri Apr 15, 2016 8:33 am
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 4 12107039_778138778963295_557833850387826978_n](https://fbcdn-photos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpt1/v/t1.0-0/s526x395/12107039_778138778963295_557833850387826978_n.jpg?oh=45a28829f3442bc7ca4de931251adc6f&oe=57BC2145&__gda__=1472115811_4f2a9b4a3186cb682e91d54be05ee67f)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Fri Apr 15, 2016 9:31 am
Great one about Gandhi Nagual
Great one about disability Chris
Great one about disability Chris
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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