what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Pettytyrant101 Tue May 29, 2018 3:04 pm
{{{Are you innocent of hundreds and thousands too then? 'Cause they're excellent on small cakes ect 
}}
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Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:33 pm
Getting mugged is no joke, i got mugged once and got hit over the back of the head with a power drill, was just walking along the road and all of a sudden "BOSCH"!!
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 25 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl](https://2img.net/h/i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y474/azriel59/th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl.gif)
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 25 Jean-b11](https://i.servimg.com/u/f65/17/86/44/91/th/jean-b11.jpg)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:28 am
{{{ 
}}}
}}}_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:58 pm
Guy..... I broke my arm in 3 places
Doctor....well stop going to those places then
Doctor....well stop going to those places then
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by halfwise Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:10 pm
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:03 am
Very funny 
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![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 25 Z93Cq](https://i.imgur.com/z93Cq.gif)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:41 am
A young lady teacher takes her class of infant schoolboys to a day at the races.
A few of the boys say they need to go to the toilet, but there isn't a man around, so she nips into
the gents, with the boys and starts lifting each one up to the urinals.
On lifting the third one up she looks down, is visibly shocked and says,
'My my, your a big boy, have you just joined the class?'
'No love, my name's Frankie and I'm riding Blue Thunder in the 2.30.'
A few of the boys say they need to go to the toilet, but there isn't a man around, so she nips into
the gents, with the boys and starts lifting each one up to the urinals.
On lifting the third one up she looks down, is visibly shocked and says,
'My my, your a big boy, have you just joined the class?'
'No love, my name's Frankie and I'm riding Blue Thunder in the 2.30.'
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:47 am
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller
A four chin teller
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:47 pm
oh gawd !
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:52 pm
- Spoiler:
- A young Novice goes to the Mother Superior and says "After eight months in this Convent, I'm really missing sex"
The Mother Superior asks "Have you tried pleasuring yourself with a candle my child"?
The young Novice replies "Yes, but it's too boring, the same old thing, wick in and wick out"
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:54 pm
Will this upskirting law also include people taking photos up men's baggy shorts, or will this be a different private members bill?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:55 pm
The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident.
He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry...
He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry...
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Sun Jun 17, 2018 8:13 am
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:17 pm
Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people...…..
We haven't met yet..
We haven't met yet..
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:24 pm
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 25 Footy10](https://i.servimg.com/u/f65/17/86/44/91/footy10.jpg)
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by halfwise Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:19 pm
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Then it gets complicated...
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Pettytyrant101 Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:31 pm
{{Currently 1-1 against Tunisia- seems about right And as usual for tonight every Scot is part Tunisian! 'Anyone but England' as the saying goes! }}}
And as usual for tonight every Scot is part Tunisian! 'Anyone but England' as the saying goes! }}}_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46583
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Tue Jun 19, 2018 9:01 am
My granddad was half Scottish half Irish, He had thick black hair that only started going grey a year or two before he died at 80yrs old. He was over 6ft & had to duck his head to get thru the door. Stern, took no crap from anyone, only believed what he saw or heard but, had a wonderful sense of humour. Took everything life threw at him without a grumble, he just got on with it.
He lived in England
He lived in England
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by malickfan Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:41 pm
azriel wrote:Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people...…..
We haven't met yet..
support groups for antisocial people are actually a thing though, nothing like cramming a bunch of people who hate talking to strangers together in a room with each other...
_________________
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The Tauriel: Desolation of Canon December 2013 (Accurate again!)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by halfwise Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:57 pm
I think it helps if you give them a common enemy. They should have a group leader who thinks organized ice breakers are a good idea.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by malickfan Tue Jun 19, 2018 9:00 pm
halfwise wrote:I think it helps if you give them a common enemy. They should have a group leader who thinks organized ice breakers are a good idea.
I was making a bit of a poor attempt at a joke there, but having been through a similar support group, they do help...it just takes a while to break the ice, people may or may not be antisocial but everyone has certain subjects they like talking about.
_________________
The Thorin: An Unexpected Rewrite December 2012 (I was on the money apparently)
The Tauriel: Desolation of Canon December 2013 (Accurate again!)
The Sod-it! : Battling my Indifference December 2014 (You know what they say, third time's the charm)
Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it
I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Forest Shepherd Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:25 am
Like Tolkien!
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"The earth was rushing past like a river or a sea below him. Trees and water, and green grass, hurried away beneath. A great roar of wild animals rose as they rushed over the Zoological Gardens, mixed with a chattering of monkeys and a screaming of birds; but it died away in a moment behind them. And now there was nothing but the roofs of houses, sweeping along like a great torrent of stones and rocks. Chimney-pots fell, and tiles flew from the roofs..."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Thu Jun 21, 2018 3:56 am
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 25 35737169_10156591064155513_2447099059035439104_n](https://scontent-syd2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/35737169_10156591064155513_2447099059035439104_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=cefcc86aee1f38a9a7a4fe86f8e42eaf&oe=5BA297BB)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:14 am
oh gawd
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15480
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Sat Jun 23, 2018 6:40 am
Wife: "Remember our wedding night? You were so eager you didn't even give me time to take my stockings off."
Husband: "Tonight you'll have time to knit yourself a pair"
Benny Hill.
Husband: "Tonight you'll have time to knit yourself a pair"
Benny Hill.
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