what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Sat Nov 28, 2015 3:56 am
police are looking for a clothes thief, apparently he's stealing clothes in order of size, he's still at large
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Sat Nov 28, 2015 3:56 am
I rang the gym the other day to see if they could teach me how to do the splits, they asked how flexible I was, told them I can't do Tuesdays.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Sat Nov 28, 2015 3:58 am
Why should you never buy second hand Russian underwear?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Because Chernobyl fallout.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by chris63 Sat Nov 28, 2015 4:00 am
Teacher: Can anyone in the class tell me, the name of Robin Hoods girldfriend?
Little Patrick: Trudie Glen Miss!
Teacher: No Patrick, Her name was Maid Marion.
Little Patrick: You sure miss?
Teacher: Yes
Little Patrick: Well what about the song, " Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Riding Trudie Glen.
Little Patrick: Trudie Glen Miss!
Teacher: No Patrick, Her name was Maid Marion.
Little Patrick: You sure miss?
Teacher: Yes
Little Patrick: Well what about the song, " Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Riding Trudie Glen.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Sat Nov 28, 2015 9:39 am
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 35 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl](https://2img.net/h/i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y474/azriel59/th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl.gif)
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 35 Jean-b11](https://i.servimg.com/u/f65/17/86/44/91/th/jean-b11.jpg)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Mrs Figg Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:28 pm
chris63 wrote:Why should you never buy second hand Russian underwear?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:59 pm
The universe implodes..
No matter.
No matter.
_________________
“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 35 Tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500](https://33.media.tumblr.com/de58a4b1ea8094e414d274be9532e12d/tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500.gif)
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:35 pm
I was telling my dad about the never ending lollipop I bought.
"It's brilliant," I said to him. "I've been licking it for weeks and it's still the same size."
"That's great, son," he replied. "But I think you should take the wrapper off."
"It's brilliant," I said to him. "I've been licking it for weeks and it's still the same size."
"That's great, son," he replied. "But I think you should take the wrapper off."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:41 pm
A man on his deathbed requested his wife, 3 sons, his nurse and a camera to be set up to record his final moments. Which were as follows...
"To my son, David, I leave the 2 blocks of flats in the East End of London. To my other son, Michael, I leave the 4 penthouses in Chelsea, and finally to my eldest son, Kevin, I leave the big glass building near Tower Bridge."
With that he slipped away. The nurse turned to the wife and said, "I never realised your husband was so wealthy. You and your sons are very lucky."
His wife swiftly replied, "Was he bollocks! He was a fucking window cleaner!
"To my son, David, I leave the 2 blocks of flats in the East End of London. To my other son, Michael, I leave the 4 penthouses in Chelsea, and finally to my eldest son, Kevin, I leave the big glass building near Tower Bridge."
With that he slipped away. The nurse turned to the wife and said, "I never realised your husband was so wealthy. You and your sons are very lucky."
His wife swiftly replied, "Was he bollocks! He was a fucking window cleaner!
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:42 pm
I was sitting in the hospital canteen, when the doctor came over, looking all weepy eyed.
"What's up, doc?" I asked, before tucking into my sandwich.
"I'm afraid your wife didn't make it," he said.
"I can tell," I replied. "This sandwich is gorgeous."
"What's up, doc?" I asked, before tucking into my sandwich.
"I'm afraid your wife didn't make it," he said.
"I can tell," I replied. "This sandwich is gorgeous."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15493
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:53 pm
My wife was paralysed in a car crash seven years ago and looking after her has made me a much stronger person.
The brakes on her wheelchair are jammed on.
The brakes on her wheelchair are jammed on.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15493
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Thu Dec 03, 2015 11:52 pm
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 35 10313555_909029272447978_159504032884442293_n](https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/v/t1.0-9/10313555_909029272447978_159504032884442293_n.jpg?oh=7fa000c1ef3009017e6f9984c8486fb1&oe=56F22333)
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“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Mrs Figg Thu Dec 03, 2015 11:59 pm
what do you call an explosion of cheese?
de brie
fer fooks sake
de brie
fer fooks sake
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Fri Dec 04, 2015 2:13 pm
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 35 Deer1_zpsla8rr8u4](https://2img.net/h/i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y474/azriel59/deer1_zpsla8rr8u4.jpg)
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15493
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Fri Dec 04, 2015 2:16 pm
For real ?? 
![what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 35 Sauce_zpsltgov1pp](https://2img.net/h/i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y474/azriel59/sauce_zpsltgov1pp.jpg)
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15493
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Mrs Figg Fri Dec 04, 2015 4:34 pm
that actually made me laugh out loud.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by azriel Fri Dec 04, 2015 4:53 pm
I know ! Imagine that in Waitrose !! the manager would throw a fit ! _________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15493
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by bungobaggins Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:38 pm
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Bluebottle Fri Dec 04, 2015 10:17 pm
_________________
“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Pettytyrant101 Sat Dec 05, 2015 11:07 am
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Nagual Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:15 pm
Lord Of The Rings was a masterpiece of film making.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Pettytyrant101 Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:47 pm
Scotshobbit sarcastic crabbit in action (if you think my crabbit disdain to those films is great its nothing to Naguals!)_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]
by Nagual Sat Dec 05, 2015 2:06 pm
The Hobbit out shines the LotR in every aspect of lore and film making.
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