Things that are making you crabbit! [4]

"We didn’t see a lot of Mikael Persbrandt’s Beorn in the end in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and arguably he remained all the more intriguing for it." - TORn

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  idiots   

Maybe they fell asleap at that part?  

some weird shit insect has bitten my leg. I hate the weird shit little biting fuckers in this country. last time something bit me my forehead looked like a klingon it swelled up so much. Now my leg itches like fuck and its big red and angry, maybe its a Pettybug.   
shit shit shitarama!

Pour a bit of buckie on it- kill any infection, or make it very drunk.   

rub spot with a piece of fresh leek ! will stop itching straight away ! 
( tho you might smell a bit................garlicky-ish for a little while ?)

Sorry to hear that Mrs Figg, and doubly sorry that you didn't at least get the satisfaction of smashing the little *****.

Yesterday was the first big hatch of mosquitoes here. I sprayed my horse with a mild insecticide so they don't drive him crazy. He also serves as bait. The mosquitoes are drawn from all around to suck his tasty horse-blood, which they need to lay eggs. When they do, they get dizzy and fall off him. If I'm careful to treat him early and at each successive hatch I find I can keep the entire mosquito population to just a couple percent of what it would be if they were allowed to feed freely.

  {{{Hey, perhaps you could use Mr Figg as bait for your bugs!  }}}

Yeah rub him down with a bit of liver & a fine Chianti  

I dont think it was a mosquito, more like a spider or a tick. I was wearing leggings too, as I was in the long grass in the garden, I dont want the scorpions to get me, but something bit me anyway.   its been 3 days and its still massive, if it goes bullseye I may go to the doc, dont want Lyme disease.   

You better crack on with it then Figgs !   The very last thing you need is Lymes disease !   We can start a collection to pay for medical treatment if need be ??

 

So a week ago I was helping a friend build a rather large chicken coop.
We were using large sections of metal fencing. The fencing in turn was held in place by rather large, rather heavy bricks which have holes in them into which the fence pole slot to secure them.
So I was carrying one of these heavy bricks, a bit like you might hold a baby, with it resting against my right shoulder with arm round it to hold in place and one beneath taking the weight.
Unfortunately there was a set of wooden steps to negotiate to where we were building, and on the way down them I slipped.
Somehow I managed not to fall over entirely but rather to half turn and half fall down three or four steps, luckily breaking my fall with most of the skin on both my shins and a solid jolt to the kneecaps  
Worse however was the brick, which I managed to keep hold off but also managed to pile-drive into the top of my own hip.

So quick buckie for medicinal purposes and a lot cursing and got on with the job.

Over the next few days it got more and more painful, especially to walk on so I thought Id best get it looked at- turns out I've been walking about for a week on a fractured hip   

Lucky I was drunk the whole time or it would have really hurt!

 

Get well soon!

Pettytyrant101 wrote: turns out I've been walking about for  a week on a fractured hip   

Lucky I was drunk the whole time or it would have really hurt!

I'd say the problem is you weren't drunk enough when you fell. Otherwise you'd have bounded better.   
Are they going to put any metal in you?

Sod that- its just a hairline fracture- should knit up on its own and be a future source of arthritis- just bloody sore when I walk on it which means, tragically, I have to drink more   

Yep. That's the way.  
I can proudly say I've never broken a bone I couldn't set myself! (Fingers, toes and ribs, mostly).  
Of course you'll heal in half the time or less if you take lots of vitamin D and stop smoking for a month, but I figure there's not much chance of that.  

[Note: You can still get the vitamin D naturally by leaving your pussy in the sun for an hour, then giving it a tongue bath, if you prefer.   ]

I am not licking any of my pussies under any circumstances!   But I might eat their cat food as my admittedly not very in-depth research concludes I can get Vit D from fish.    (does fish still have much vit D in it after you deep fry and batter it?)

I think the vitamin D is in the fishes livers. Also in cow liver, sheep liver etc. It's where animals store it, and eating other critters' livers is how northerners like us traditionally got it, since our own skins rarely see the sun.

There's some good research that shows that much of the low bone density that is diagnosed as osteoporosis is actually related to vitamin D deficiency (rickets) from us northerners huddling inside, wearing too many clothes, never seeing the sun, and not eating our liver.

So I need to wait till my cats have eaten the food then eat my cats liver do I? Ah well, fair enough.

David H wrote:I think the vitamin D is in the fishes livers. Also in cow liver, sheep liver etc. It's where animals store it, and eating other critters' livers is how northerners like us traditionally got it, since our own skins rarely see the sun.  

There's some good research that shows that much of the low bone density that is diagnosed as osteoporosis is actually related to vitamin D deficiency (rickets) from us northerners huddling inside, wearing too many clothes,  never seeing the sun, and not eating our liver.

Rickets was a big thing when I was a kid. I remember having to strip down to my skids and walk round a huge UV lamp in a dark room with all the other kids from my class. we wore these huge goggles, we were all skinny and pale, we must have looked like bug eyed moths fluttering round a Street lamp.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:So a week ago I was helping a friend build a rather large chicken coop.
We were using large sections of metal fencing. The fencing in turn was held in place by rather large, rather heavy bricks which have holes in them into which the fence pole slot to secure them.
So I was carrying one of these heavy bricks, a bit like you might hold a baby, with it resting against my right shoulder with arm round it to hold in place and one beneath taking the weight.
Unfortunately there was a set of wooden steps to negotiate to where we were building, and on the way down them I slipped.
Somehow I managed not to fall over entirely but rather to half turn and half fall down three or four steps, luckily breaking my fall with most of the skin on both my shins and a solid jolt to the kneecaps  
Worse however was the brick, which I managed to keep hold off but also managed to pile-drive into the top of my own hip.

So quick buckie for medicinal purposes and a lot cursing and got on with the job.

Over the next few days it got more and more painful, especially to walk on so I thought Id best get it looked at- turns out I've been walking about for  a week on a fractured hip   

Lucky I was drunk the whole time or it would have really hurt!

  you silly billy. take it easy.

STOP SMOKING!! it can effect your balance you know.

Yikes!  I'm glad it's not even worse, but I wish you a speedy recovery, Petty! Try to avoid any complications.

why does Spring make me so tired?   

David H wrote:Of course you'll heal in half the time or less if you take lots of vitamin D and stop smoking for a month, but I figure there's not much chance of that.  

[Note: You can still get the vitamin D naturally by leaving your pussy in the sun for an hour, then giving it a tongue bath, if you prefer.   ]

I hesitate to say it, but alcohol affects the calcium uptake by bones as well. Lessee, drinking, smoking...anyone willing to hazard fried foods may be a problem as well? Petty won't last long enough for the cure.


How does vitamin D get onto kitty-cat fur?   

STOP SMOKING!! - Figg

I did, briefly. I dropped my fag on the way down the stairs