Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc

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Post by chris63 Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:47 am

Thats good Laughing

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Post by Orwell Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:24 am

Norc's Mother ran with her skirt hitched high (to free her legs for a speedier escape! Mad ) and Cranberry Dave soon was left a fair way behind.

Now, to the casual observer, it was like this...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc29

and not like this...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc22


... because Norc's Mother was a respectable woman - even if she was Norc's Mother...

The incident with Orwell Jackaboots McOdo (3) was purely contextual, and she only did what was necessary to save her daughter, as all brave Mother's would do in a pinch. And it was conducted in the best posible taste - a bit like this I imagine...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc25

..and definitely not at all like this...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc26

[Though one of them might have suggested it - contextually - at the time]

Anyway, Norc's Mother was already over PuckHill before you (or I) knew it. She stopped to listen for Cranberry Dave's heavy footfall...


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc27


... but what she heard was a rustling noise in the long grass. A snake? No - not really, not technically... it was this...



Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc24

"Oh what a curious creature... and so cute....." Norc's Mother exclaimed. "Hello cutie!" she said to the cute little creature who was accidentally looking up her skirt.

The little cutie spoke. "Follow me dear Lady whose legs go up all the way, not that I'm meaning to notice. I shall save you from Cranberry Dave..."

And the cute little creature scuttled off into the grass with Norc's Mother - in two minds now actually - following close behind.

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc30

.. but Cranberry Dave had not given up so easily...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc32

... and night was descending on Forumshire...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc31

to be continued...

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Post by Mrs Figg Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:20 pm

cheers
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Post by azriel Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:57 pm

Laughing Cheerleader

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Post by Ally Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:10 pm

fyi, Starbucks is giving away a free download of NewGirl 1.02 this week. (Not a great episode but, hey, free.)

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:52 pm

I have no idea what is going on here- but I dont think I like it. Suspect

(and nice to see you back Ally! cheers )

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Post by azriel Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:15 pm

You will, go back to page2, Nod

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:35 pm

The content is still deserving of a Suspect

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Post by azriel Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:33 pm

But this IS forumshire,Petty Very Happy

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:25 pm

That is very true- but its always disconcerting when reading a thread if you cant tell if your drunk or not!

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Post by Orwell Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:00 am

The cute little creature soon was showing Norc's Mother his hole - and Petty McTyrant happened to be in it just then.

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty-1

"Ock!" said Petty McTyrant, surprised to see a Lady entering the cute little creature's hole. "Oom eye droonk, corse Ime not shoor wot ime seein', Halfy-lad."

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty1

"Oh hi!" said Norc's Mother. "I've seen your lithograph in the NotP... You're the famous Petty McTyrant aren't you. And I am fond of a good kilt .. and yours is rather spiffy, Sir. "

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty5

"Well Ide bee abashed... Embarassed "

"May I try on one?" Norc's Mother asked noticing that there was a rack of them fitted snugly against the back wall of Halfy-lad's hole... "Ooh pretty pretty pleeeease...."

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty2

"Pleez doo," said Petty who was rather smitten by Norc's Mother who was nothing like Norc, which was just as well, as 'tis said that Norc had been hit (quite firmly) with the ugly stick as a child (apparently)(according to Odo Banks)('tis said).

"You mustn't peek while i change in front of you, boys... There."

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty12

"What do you think Petty? Does it make my hair look too dark?" asked Norc's Mother.

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty1

".... and this?"

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty8Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty1


"I can't begin to imagine where you wear this, Petty... but it's divine...."

"I wish Norc would be a little more feminine like you, Petty... Here's a lithograph of my Norc...."

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty7

"You can see what I mean...unfortunate, what. I'm afraid her dream of a marrying a Hebridean Prince is low to non-existent.. but never mind...Oooh! What's that creepy windy noise outside? I hope it's not Cranberry Dave."

"Ock!"

"I'll go and have a peek," said Halfy-lad, because he was braver than Petty.

"Noo heez noot! Eye'll goo too."

So Halfy-lad and Petty went outside.

It was rather dark by now....

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty10

"It's rather sinister out here..."

"Ime noot afraid..."

"Is that someone at the end of the glade?"

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty9

"Ock!"



to be continued...







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Post by azriel Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:52 am

Laughing

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Post by Orwell Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:31 am

"I can't believe it!" cried Halfy-lad, his cockles rising. "It's Arwen Evenstar!"


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldarian5


"The Mother of Eldarion."


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldo


"And his younger half-sibling, Eldorion."


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldo-2


"Son of Orwell (4)."


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Hairstyle1-2


"Look. I've collected several lithographs of Arwen.. She's my fave."


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldarian6Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldarian5Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldarian3

"Yep! It's Arwen alright! This is my favorite postcard by the way... she was only 782 at the time...."


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Eldarian4

"Booot wotshee doin' here in this dark ol' glade, Halfy-lad?"

"Good question that... We must go and ask her, I guess."

And so the moppy creature and the Scotshobbit walked toward Arwen planning to greet her most welcomely, both shaking with energy.

And then they saw her... no...him.... what????????????????


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Arwen


"She looks quite different up close," Halfy-lad said in surprise. "In fact, she looks like a zombie!"


"Itz far worse zun zat, nock the noo by crombie!" Petty McTyrant cried, his eyes rollng back in his head as the beserker rage took him over in an instant....


Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Beserker2


"This may not be pretty..." Halfy-lad squeaked...



to be continued....







Last edited by Orwell on Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Orwell Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:59 am

Actually, as it turned out, it was Arwen afterall...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Arwen2

... but in Petty's defence, it was dark and he was a hothead... and let's face it, any woman wandering around in a dark forest in Forumshire at night is bound to be killed or worse...

Halfy-lad and Petty swiftly buried the body in a shallow grave, and regretfully returned to Norc's Mother who awaited their return in Halfy-lad's hole. Her look was one of nervous questioning.

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Arwen7

"What happened... I heard a bestial screech - and a hideous Scots brogue crying out:

"Die you fookin peece of fookin' dribblin' fookin' blubber ya basstid!"

And then what sounded remarkably like a beautiful elf Princess begging for mercy, and then a short burst of bloodcurdling weeping, and then the sound of a sharp sword chopping heavilly through begging flesh throbbing with a desperate will to life... or, at least, it certainly sounded like something quite similar to that."

Petty did not know quite what to say.

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Petty20

And Norc's Mother did wonder why Petty looked a lot like Roman Polanski just then.

"Never mind," Halfy-lad said in as jolly a voice as he could muster, unconciously rubbing bloodsplatter through his hair....

"Ock!" Petty blurted. "I need a bookie!"

And luckily he had a few bottles left...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Buckie


to be continued....








Änd why are you

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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:37 pm

Shocked
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Post by chris63 Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:53 pm

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Huh-smiley-emoticon

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Post by chris63 Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:56 pm

Funny thou Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Popcorn

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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:30 pm

Forumshire in Dreamz n nightmarz Part 1.

Dave
Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Tumblr_m6rsgwzVVp1r6j6nm_zpsa8323cf4

Norc
Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Tumblr_lxwf4m7KEO1r2ze90_zpsd7aa07d2

Ally
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Petty
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Figgy
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:31 pm

Laughing

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Post by Norc Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:06 pm

i.... i......................................
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Post by Orwell Fri Mar 15, 2013 9:46 pm

Norc's Mother sensed it was time to leave, call it Women's Intuition, I guess, though the sight of a blood drenched drunken Petty and a quivering mop of hair weeping in his broom closet may have been a factor in Norc's Mother's unease...

She sneaked out of Halfy-lad's hole about 3.00am...

A Forumshire forest is a eerie kind of place...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum29

Not unlike a Skattykatzenfjordian forest actually... with Deathwolves

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum26

and lots of strange women

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum20-1Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum21-1Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum22-1


some stranger than others... Norc's Mother approached this is one...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum23-1

who, when asked for directions, said dreamily, "The rain is under the skin, beebop '82, Dylan knew how." Which was no place Norc's Mother had ever heard of. Then she saw the scariest shadow yet...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum30


she turned away in serious unease and saw this...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum2-4

"That looks like a portal into Narnia..."Norc's Mother sighed. "But which do I choose? Get slashed to death by a crazed cranberry farmer, or risk a Narnian sequel with all the inherent risk of innuendo involving dwarfs and small and large mythical beasts and talking animals...?"

One last glimpse over her shoulder at Cranberry Dave decided her...

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Mum35

.. but it wasn't Narnia she entered... it was somewhere completely different (after a fashion)..

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Munchkin

There were three interesting people there to meet her...

a giggling Scaregirl

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Oz2

who said: "Hello, I am Scaregirl - and I like to do scary things with girlfriends."

There was a Tin Girl

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Oz1-1

who said: "I am happiest when fully oiled."

and there was a Cowardly Lioness

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Oz3

who said: "I am scared of coming out of the closet - but with the right mature and sensitive female, well, you never know..."

"Oh dear!" said Norc's Mum, quite wearily

Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Norc50

feeling that her location may have changed but not anything else (apparently)."


to be continued....





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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:07 pm

lol!

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Post by Norc Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:18 pm

this is one of the things i am not going to tell me mom when i talk about the forum...
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Post by Orwell Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:09 pm

As the story comes straight out of your Mum's secret diary, I'm not sure you would have to fill her in! Shocked

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Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc  - Page 3 Empty Re: Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc

Post by Norc Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:10 pm

this escalated so quickly (and cunningly while i was away Mad ) that i didn't have a chance to say "leave my mom out of this".. well.. guess it's too late now.
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