Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

by Bluebottle Sat Jan 04, 2014 11:50 pm

Haha, I remeber Spike Milligan on Room 101 actually trying to get rid of his house. Laughing

https://youtu.be/F43rk3ny8mM?t=1m25s

by Bluebottle Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:02 pm

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis … father … LADDER!

by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:54 pm

to the joke and Blue and Id also like to add to the chorus of praise for the sublime Goons Show and also to give a shout out to Round the Horn too. Nod

by azriel Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:45 pm

This morning I got a knock on the door. To my surprise I answered the door to find my mother-in-law on my front doorstep, tears in her eyes.

"Can I stay here for a couple of days?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied, slamming the door in her face.

by azriel Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:52 pm

I spent 25 minutes waving to an old lady today,

Then I realised she was cleaning her Windows.

by azriel Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:00 am

I've decided my wife is to shallow for me.
I mean I can see her toes sticking through the dirt.
Got to dig deeper.

by David H Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:14 am

I apologize for getting serious on you in your own joke thread, Azriel, but how does that last joke feel to you as a woman?

It's always seemed to me that dead-wife jokes were as much an implied threat as humor. Kind of like the old lynching jokes, it feels to me like they're intended to "remind people of their place".

Your thoughts?

Edit: I guess I can sure kill a joke, huh? When I read the shallow grave one, all I could think of was something that happened near here several years ago. A couple from out of the area moved into a trailer park a few miles from here. They were famous in the are for their arguing until a few months after they arrived, when the husband apparently moved out, though his wife continued to cash his checks.

Out here in the country our detectives often have four legs. A few weeks after the husband had "left", one of the neighbors noticed that a bear had dug in under the trailer and drug out some garbage bags full of bits and pieces, on which he'd been happily feasting. Too shallow, I guess..... Suspect

by chris63 Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:20 am

Good ones az Thumbs Up

by chris63 Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:32 am

by chris63 Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:40 am

by bungobaggins Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:05 am

chris63 wrote:

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 26 BroncoBama

by Norc Thu Jan 09, 2014 8:16 am

David

that is horrable! OMG! D: no... i kinda agree, one shouldn't perhaps make such jokes (although the joke was funny in a way..)

i think perhaps that after 43 pages, David finally re-norced it back to topic Laughing

by azriel Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:04 am

Oh Dave, your story isnt actually unusual, Its a horrible story but, this is how humans can behave when stretched. Imagine how it must have felt to live in lawless days ? before police etc ! Scarey times. I think i MUST be warped cos, I sniggered when the bear had his "picnic". Thats awful !! .......... (do yer think the bear got indigestion ?)
Loved the Smurf joke Chris !! Razz

Actually, there's so many unsettling elements in that story Dave, & a joke (in bad taste or not) can highlight that, gets people to think ? We had a guy in this country, Fred West & his fucked in the head wife, they WERE sicko's. Killed their own children & other teenagers & buried them in the cellar. Poor neighbours either side !! The "house of Horror" has rightly been pulled down now & I think there's a remembrance garden there now.

by Pettytyrant101 Thu Jan 09, 2014 11:14 am

Mother in law/wife jokes are as old as the hills and some Uk comedians have made a career of them- the late great Les Dawson springs to mind (I heard his voice telling the joke when i read your wife joke Azriel)- I think humour is the best and most natural response to horrible things, its a coping mechanism, a way of keeping perspective- the humour in a care home is as black as hell- but if it wasnt we couldnt get through a week.

by azriel Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:43 pm

Black ?! I could tell jokes Sauron would blush at, but, I agree Petty, Humour gets you thru, takes the edge of either stress or even horror or repulsion. It certainly has got me thru some dark patches & I honestly think without humour Id be in a nut house.... come to think of it I know a joke or 3 bout that Laughing

by azriel Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:52 pm

"Went to see 3 friends today, theyre in a institute for the mentally unbalanced. 1st guy is running around vvrrrooommm vvvrrroooming all over the place, "look at me, Im a car!" He smiles & vrooms off. 2nd guy is Neeeaaahhh-ing with his arms out stretched, "look at me, Im an aeroplane!" He grins & flies off, 3rd friend is just sitting in his chair, big bag of pistachio's tied to his todger. "wots up mate" I say, He looks at me sadly & answers, "I fucking nuts,.. like the rest of us !"

by Pettytyrant101 Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:01 pm

by Bluebottle Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:55 pm

Yeah, I think that joke plays with just that kind of scurting around the limits of acceptability.

And it was probably inspired by this I guess, which is by Billy Connoly who plays Dain in the Hobbit. And it kind of made his career as a comedian from what I heard.

Norc wrote:i think perhaps that after 43 pages, David finally re-norced it back to topic

Haha, that's very insightfull. Nod

Because whatever one might think about the joke oneself that is the thread title, and if someone complains you're not getting away with it I guess.

So it might kind of been answeared at last. Laughing

by David H Thu Jan 09, 2014 3:37 pm

azriel wrote: (do yer think the bear got indigestion ?)

No, I'm sure he didn't. But since you asked, yes of course there's more to the bear story.

The bear was hunted down and killed because it's generally a bad idea to let wild animals get a taste for human flesh. (I'm told we're actually all quite tasty, almost indistinguishable from pork or bear meat! Shocked

)

Usually when a bear is killed, he's butchered exactly like a pig and nothing is wasted. But this time, for some reason nobody wanted the meat.... pale

Actually, there's so many unsettling elements in that story Dave, & a joke (in bad taste or not) can highlight that, gets people to think ?

I think that's exactly right, Azriel. Jokes give us a way to talk about things that might be too dark to talk about otherwise. For example, long before any of the recent revelations, I think we'd all heard alter boy jokes....

by David H Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:10 pm

Jeez, did I just kill this thread again? Embarassed

Come on, doesn't somebody have a good dead bear joke or cannibalism joke to get things back off topic again?

by Norc Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:14 pm

by **Amarië** Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:21 pm

David H wrote:I apologize for getting serious on you in your own joke thread, Azriel, but how does that last joke feel to you as a woman?

It's always seemed to me that dead-wife jokes were as much an implied threat as humor. Kind of like the old lynching jokes, it feels to me like they're intended to "remind people of their place".

Your thoughts?

Edit: I guess I can sure kill a joke, huh? When I read the shallow grave one, all I could think of was something that happened near here several years ago. A couple from out of the area moved into a trailer park a few miles from here. They were famous in the are for their arguing until a few months after they arrived, when the husband apparently moved out, though his wife continued to cash his checks.

Out here in the country our detectives often have four legs. A few weeks after the husband had "left", one of the neighbors noticed that a bear had dug in under the trailer and drug out some garbage bags full of bits and pieces, on which he'd been happily feasting. Too shallow, I guess.....

Jokes like that and altar boy jokes makes me sad, though I see the humor despite the bitter taste it gives and I suppose it's sort of good that it is spoken about and not silence. (And yes Petty, I'll save you the trouble asking: I'd feel the same way if it had been a shallow husband.)

by Pettytyrant101 Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:25 pm

I think if we lose the ability to laugh at the very serious then its probably all over for the human race.

by azriel Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:26 pm

Two cannibals come across a missionary in the jungle. After killing the man, they decide to split the body evenly. "Look," said one cannibal. "I'll start at the head, and you start at the feet, and we'll meet in the middle."

So the two begin to devour the man's body. After a short while, the cannibal at the head looks up and says, "How's it going down there?"

"I'm having a ball!" replied the other.

"No!" shouted the first cannibal. "You're eating too fast!"

by azriel Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:27 pm

A cannibal returned from a holiday missing a leg.
"What happened?" asked his friend.
"It was self catering." he replied.