The News of the Pure

Outrage begetting outrage, by the bucket full! .. and I wasn't hiding by hedge, I was pruning my hedge - how else does one give himself the chance of winning Prestigious Prizes!

Why isn't there a throwing up smiey? I need one. Glad I'm drunk.

I believe in their experience as journalists Eldo that they have found that the head of any state or government always has more than one squeeze, especially if they say they don't.
In fact in response to your comment the editor of the NotP has asked me to pass on this message; "We at the NotP accept your denial. "

And Baingil they have asked what your current dress size is so they can make up a 'play along at home' chart for readers to plot your weight gain and loss, apparently they are calling it 'Baingil's bulemic to bloated parlour game.'

Odo you should know by now the journalists at the NotP always report people who refuse to answer questions as 'hiding', they say the same when instead of doing the interview they decide just to go to the pub for an hour instead.

Thanks for the warning, Petty, I made sure to cut up and burn all the tags on my dresses so they can't figure it out. Fire's going nicely, too. These work great as kindling!

Yes they were thinking of doing a womans supplement but I'm not sure they are quiet suited to it. The only female staff members at NotP are Pretty, and she's more of a, um, field reporter you could say (or nightclub or bedroom), and the Hobbit Lasses, and they don't really count as staff as they don't get a say and they get paid mainly in innuendos.

Well, they'll have to find someone else to bug about dress sizes!

Now... er... what temperature am I suppose to wash this in? I seem to be missing the tag... er, right.

Apparently a straw poll in the NotP offices for content for a womans supplement threw up this list of things women are interested in; "Nagging. Shoes. Pretty flowers. Looking good on page 3. Shoes again. Cake. Puppies with large eyes and one floppy ear. More shoes. Bum sizes. Handbags. Viggo Mortensen and Sean Bean. Moaning about buckie consumptition. And finally, just to be sure, shoes again.'

Actually on reflection they might be on to something- that would probably sell!

You forgot the adorable kittens. How could you?

See this is why they'd be no good at doing a Women's Supplement. I shall pass the tip on to them, although the only likely outcome to it is that next weeks Hobbit Lass of the Day will be holding a kitten in a discrete place.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:I believe in their experience as journalists Eldo that they have found that the head of any state or government always has more than one squeeze, especially if they say they don't.
In fact in response to your comment the editor of the NotP has asked me to pass on this message; "We at the NotP accept your denial. "

If I had other squeezes, the NotP wouldn't have had to lower its journalistic standards below even their own usual lows to invent a romance between me and Leelee.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Apparently a straw poll in the NotP offices for content for a womans supplement threw up this list of things women are interested in; Sean Bean.

Hmmmmm!

Say what you like about the NotP (and you can its all free advertising from their point of view) but they do seem to know their readership!

Making stories up? Really? It's a disgrace if you ask this (outraged) reader!

((( Don't tell anyone, but I actually came up with the story! Pretty easy, it was, in truth. I just thought of the women that Eldo knows:

Queen Tin
Leelee
Kafria
Ally
Not Squach- I wouldn't sink that low!
Eldorion Could of been an interesting story though, for sure...

And there you go! A nice juicy story sold to the folks at the NOTP! Great paper by the way! )))

Oh and for the record I also like Sean Bean. Just saying!

Seems the NotP has hit on something with this Sean Bean lark, now the editor is thiking of having a win a date with Sean Bean contest (I doubt its success, as far as I am aware Sean Bean does not tend to get paid in buckie) but they are formulating questions now, you know the sort where you fill in the blank. Latest one is;

"If Sean Bean were a car I would wear................................... to soap him down? (Winners must submit to palantazzi pictures as proof of willingness).

Somehow I don't think this is a flyer. (Or respectable- but then it is the NotP!)

Call me crazy, but I think that women have a pretty big advantage over men in this competition. Of course unless Mr Bean likes men who wear multicoloured summer themed three-quarter shorts and crocs...but of course I'm not writing the questions!

If the NotP are wanting to take pictures of the prize winner soaping down a car I can say I recon with a fair degree of certainty they will not pick a male winner!

I find it all quite entertaining!!! It's best reading it when you don't have anything to worry about being exploited or blown out of proportion.
I can't help it if I don't do anything scandolous

(((((( I need a sighing smiley. I miss the good old days when I could drink all of the buckie I wanted and be scandolous and all people cared about was what Beren would do. Now I have an image to uphold as a Queen. Maybe I should have an alter ego................))))))))))))))))

I am sure the upcoming picnic will give you a chance to let your hair down your Maj. Its a long standing Tyrant clan tradition that at such a gathering all titles and positions are dropped and all meet as equals to fight over the buckie.

That's would comfort me except I know that Notp will be waiting for me to do something stupid! In fact, they'll be all over all of us afterwards!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fear that may be very true, and um in order to cover the extra expense of this years event I needed sponsors and the NotP were the only ones willing, in return they get full access to the picnic and exclusive pictures. But on the otherhand they would have found out anything that happens anyway so we may as well get them to pay for the buckie.

Fantastic

Whatever happened to paparazzi-free zones? The Forumshire Government might have to step in and declare certain areas legally off-limits to reporters in order to preserve the dignity of the Monarchy and the Administration. A super-respectability injunction!

Agreed! This is ridiculous!!!

"Jævla stor sild"

Another priceless NotP edition

That piece was filed by their Norway correspondent- no one here knows what it means!

It means ""#!%¤! huge herring" - not so funny when taken out of context, but hilarious in Norwegian in a NotP article in English

Edit: Profanity filter added