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Post by Eldorion Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:10 am

The most prestigious and reliable news service in all of Forumshire, and the only one officially endorsed by the Administration, is of course State News. Hitherto its invaluable reporting has been scattered throughout many threads, but now it shall be collected into this one location for your convenience. Very Happy First up are back issues, after the jump....
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Post by Eldorion Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:10 am

(19 February 2011)

FORUMSHIRE STATE NEWS
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

It has come to the attention of the Forumshire Administrator's Office that certain disreputable "private" newspapers have been making accusations against a number of highly well-thought of and influential forumites. Let State News assure you that all such accusations are baseless. Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding one Odo R. Banks, Esq. has recently been detained in the Lockholes, State News can exclusively uncover, but he is being released this evening. A spokeshobbit for the Administrator's Office announced "We have already conferred with Mr. Banks, and all uncertainties have been cleared away. No charges will be filed, and it is our understanding that he will be returning to his comfortable private home. Additionally, recent rumors that Forumshire judges have been taking bribes in exchange for lenient sentences are completely unfounded."

The Administrator himself, Mr. Eldorion of Michel Delving, was unavailable for comment. His aides tell State News that Mr. Eldorion is currently on vacation to Girdley Island. It is not the place of State News to question the announcements of the State, but the streets of Michel Delving have been buzzing with rumors that the Administrator was invited to a Long-Expected second party, at the new home of Mr. Banks, in celebration of his release. Surely the gossip rags will be itching for pictures, but rest assured that State News shall inform you of only serious matters that you are deemed worthy of knowing.

God save the king
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Post by Eldorion Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:12 am

(19 February 2011)

FORUMSHIRE STATE NEWS
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

SPECIAL EDITION!

DISREPUTABLE PAPER UNDER INVESTIGATION

State News exclusively reviews that due to ongoing concerns about a lack of journalistic integrity and/or editorial standards, agents of the Forumshire Administration have been dispatched to the offices of "The Daily Purist". This Scotshobbit publication is infamous among most respectable Forumhobbits for being a consistent stream of misinformation and deceit. Administration officials have spoken with State News, expressing their professional and personal concerns about the corruptive influence to "The Purist" on Forumshire, particularly with regards to our younger Hobbits. The investigation is sure to cast doubt on the integrity of "The Purist" and to increase the circulation and prominence of State News. (Strike last sentence before publication. -Editors)

Despite the unprecedented peace and prosperity brought to Forumshire by our glorious Administrator, particularly in light of the tragic collapse of our old home and our costly escape from the Dark Planet, certain malcontent elements persist in being difficulties to our community. "The Purist" appears to be foremost in guiding these factions, as it has in its most recent edition openly called for rebellion against the Administrator, even going so far as to compare him to the Lord of the Dark Planet. Such blatant foolishness and disrespect must be considered intolerable by any civilized and respectable society, and as such we at State News wholeheartedly applaud the actions of the Administrator's Office.

LEAK FROM WITHIN LOCKHOLES

To all respectable Hobbits the Lockholes are but a dim and distant thread, except of course in such regrettable instances of mistake such as the recent unjust incarceration of Mr. Odo R. Banks, Esq. However, State News can give you an exclusive glimpse into the Lockholes and the goings-on of the most controversial institution of Forumshire in recent weeks. Attention has recently been cast on the Lockholes, and by extension our entire judicial system, in light of the recent arrest and subsequent release of the aforementioned Odo Banks. State News therefore presents the following interview for the knowledge of all Forumshire residents.

Note: Being a respectable institution of the State, we have of course submitted this interview to the Administrator's Office for review. Due to the sensitive nature of the topic, some slight revisions were made by the Administrator's agents. We are grateful to the Administrator for his foresight in forestalling any possible social unrest that may come from the release of the original transcript.

STATE NEWS: Thank you for joining us today, Mr. ***********. Can you tell us your thoughts on the recent Banks affair?

INFORMANT: The case of Mr. Banks was handled with ******************************* the utmost of ********************* efficient. ************** No regrets *******.

STATE NEWS: That sounds ******************************. Tell us your thoughts on the individuals involved.

INFORMANT: The Administrator is extremely ********************** good at what he does. ************* Mr. Banks is of course ********* not ************* guilty. Any irregularities ********************************************** did not exist.

STATE NEWS: What can you say to those who are worried about the Administrator abusing his power?

INFORMANT: *************************************************************************************************************************

STATE NEWS: Thank you so much for your time with us. Any closing words?

INFORMANT: Thank you ******************** Administrator ***********************************.

We at State News trust that this exclusive interview with a Lockholes insider will put to rest any unsavory rumors about the inner workings of Forumshire governance. Clearly the Administrator has acted only in the interest of justice and of Forumshire itself. Any who claim otherwise are simply inciting social disorder, to the harm of all.

All hail the king
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Post by Eldorion Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:13 am

(20 February 2011)

FORUMSHIRE STATE NEWS
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Dear Admin,

Whilst I am in no way associated with The Daily Purist, especially not for example sending copy to them by carrier eagle, oh no, does it seem like the ramblings of a drunken Scotshobbit willing to be payed in buckie? I don't think so. Where was I? Oh yes, I do not speak for them however I feel, as a humble citizen, that your stance on the Daily Purist is a little draconian- and will deprive me of my Hobbitlass of the Day and her must have thoughts on the big issues.

Yours Petty.

Mr. Tyrant,

Regrettably, the Admin is unable to respond to your message himself, as he is currently on an extended vacation to a tropical island with very loose money-laundering laws. However, as the sole authorized news media and mouthpiece of the State, we at State News feel qualified to reassure you that the Admin has no intention of doing away with Page 3. Regardless of the fate of "The Purist", Page 3 Hobbitlasses will always find a comfortable home in Forumshire. We at State News offer our warmest invitation for the lasses to join us, as we are the most pre-eminent respectable publication in all the land.

Yours in service,
N.M.N. Klatura, Esq.
Editor-in-Chief, Forumshire State News
10 Admin Drive, Michel Delving

UNREST IN SCOTSHOBBITON

Due to the recent announcement by this inestimable news source of the Administration's investigation into crass political rag "The Scottish Daily Purist", residents of Scotshobbiton have risen up in unfortunate and deplorable rebellion against the Administration. Apparently unwilling to face life without their daily dose of sarcastic and inaccurate reporting, the Scotshobbits have even gone so far as to - we at State News can reveal - deface the Admin's new statue. Such a blatant act of disrespect can only serve to validate the charges leveled against "The Daily Purist" and cost it support amongst the reasonable masses of Forumshire.

Forumshire State News Scotshobbiton
Forumshire Shirriffs hold unruly protesters at bay in Dwaling, Northfarthing.

With the Admin currently out of the country, his second-in-command, the Mayor of Michel Delving, has loosened restrictions on freedom of the press in an attempt to satisfy protesters and return order to Forumshire. Bilateral talks with opposition parties are scheduled to be held at the neutral location of Bywater later this week in the hopes of resolving the crisis. State News has also learned that Mr. Odo R. Banks, Esq., whose well-publicized legal troubles helped give rise to the current protests against perceived oligarchy by the most wealthy and attractive of Forumshire, has been placed under the protection of a detachment of Shirriffs, led by Ms. Mirabella Banks. We at State News fervently hope that Mr. Banks' safety is secured, and that the Admin returns soon to put an end to all of this senseless disorder.

Long live the king
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Post by Eldorion Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:14 am

(10 June 2011)

FORUMSHIRE STATE NEWS
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

SPECIAL EDITION!

ADMIN PROMISES 'PEACE IN OUR TIME'

It is the great pride and pleasure of State News to announce that Admin Eldo is currently in talks with representatives of the Dark Planet to come to an accord between the two communities and to achieve "peace in our time". After the massive upheaval surrounding the consumption of the Old Forum by the Dark Planet and the subsequent founding of our current home in Forumshire by a flood of refugees, bravely led by Eldo, this represents a major turning point in Forumshire's history. Ongoing tension between the two sides has flared on and off over the past several months, including outbursts of crabbit and misunderstanding.

Forumshire State News VviFW
Admin Eldo during negotiations with Dark Master Taz of the Dark Planet.

The current detente was brought about by the efforts of brave individuals on both sides, including moderators and minions of the Dark Master as well as a scraggly array mostly drunk and confused Forumhobbits. In addition to the efforts of individuals in reaching out and embracing their fellows, Admin Eldo deserves praise for his bold, quick action in establishing lines of communication and constructive methods of peace-building. The entire Administration has toiled tirelessly to secure a new era of peace and prosperity for all of Forumshire. We at State News are confident that these efforts will result in an unprecedented period of good will and peace, thanks to the efforts of Admin Eldo.

Inevitably, like all good efforts by the Administration, this news has been met with dismay by residents of Scotshobbiton. Having been roused from their buckie-induced stupor long enough to scream unprintable profanities our State News correspondent, the Scotshobbits made it clear that they were wholly uninterested in peace or cooperation with the Dark Planet. While some apprehensiveness is understandable given the difficult history and the recent destruction of the Old Forum, such warmongering must not be tolerated in a civilized society. Unfortunately, our correspondent was unable to provide any further reporting because he was tarred, feathered, and left by the side of the road by an angry mob who blamed the Administration for buckie shortages.

Praise to the king
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Post by odo banks Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:12 am

I disapprove of this move, and will eventually find reasons in support my gut feeling on this.

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Post by Eldorion Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:28 am

One more back-issue that was for some reason posted in a different thread. cyclops
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Post by Eldorion Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:28 am

(1 December 2011)

Forumshire State News
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

SPECIAL EDITION!

EXCLUSIVE: ADMIN ANNOUNCES PLANS FOR FIRST EVER MAYORAL ELECTIONS

In a victory for all lovers of peace, prosperity, and freedom, our beloved Admin has announced today that his office is planning the first ever Mayoral elections in the history of Forumshire. Speaking exclusively to our editor-in-chief N. M. N. Klatura, Admin Eldo stated that his motivation in introducing elections was the clear public desire for a streamlined role of public input in government. "Despite the fact that nearly every major decision in Forumshire since I took office has been preceded by an open forum for public input, and issues have frequently been put to a vote, it is clear that this system does not appeal to many of Forumshire's residents."

While Admin did not name names, one can only assume that he refers to the Scotshobbit National Party (SNP) and its most infamous spokesman/mascot, Petty Tyrant of Buckie Barrel. Mr. Tyrant has been agitating for Mayoral elections for several months, and even claimed to have organized an upcoming election, though his plans fell through. "Rather than forcing political minorities into their own parallel system, it is my desire to bring them into the fold of the political system through State-sponsored elections," Admin said in his address to the nation. "The State will handle all the messy practicalities of running an election, and the people will be able to choose their new representative."

Forumshire State News CEfUu
Admin praised the above pioneers of democracy, stating that their experiences would give invaluable lessons in ensuring that the coming elections are as fair and accurate as hobbitly possible.

This is clearly a major change in the politics of Forumshire, but we here at State News are confident it will be well-received. Our political correspondent Marmadoc "Muck" Racker, Professor Emeritus of Crickhollow University and Fellow at the Bullroarer Institute, weighed in on the matter: "Despite their reputation as 'rabble-rousers', it is clear that the SNP is in fact decidedly anti-rabble. They should be pleased to know that from now on all their demands and needs can be channeled to Admin through the newly-established office of Mayor, who will function as a representative and ombudsman for the people of Forumshire."

It is not yet clear when the Mayoral elections will be held, but the Admin's office assures us that they will be soon. This is no doubt in part to hasten the establishment of political stability and order. The new Mayor's authority will be strictly regulated and limited by new amendments to the Constitution of Forumshire, and all discontents will be required to follow official government policy regarding Mayoral procedure. "This is a great day not just for the State, not just for the SNP, but for all of Forumshire!" declared Admin Eldo in his closing remarks. "Now we won't have to listen to those rowdy Scotshobbits anymore; we'll just get to send them off to the Mayor's Office - Department of Complaints and Grievances - and let them strangle themselves with red tape.... Er, scratch that last part. This mic isn't still on, is it?"

God bless our king
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Post by Eldorion Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:10 am

Forumshire State News
What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

ELECTION: SPIRIT OF DEMOCRACY TARRED BY SEDITION, GOVERNMENT THREATENED

NEEDLEHOLE - As election season kicks into gear around Forumshire, the spirit of democracy and freedom is gripping all Hobbits. From Scotshobbitland to Needlehole, from Skattykatzenfjord to Ozhobbitstan, and half the way to Bree-land, Hobbits are taking to the streets in support of their favorite candidates. In fact, some have noted just how many candidates have crawled out of the woodwork for a chance to carve out a little cave in the edifice of governmental power established by Admin Eldo. "It really is remarkable how many people become politicians once the hard work is past," said an Administration official, who spoke to State News on condition of anonymity.

Unfortunately, as in any public events that arouses such passions, it has been inevitable that there has been trouble. A fight broke out near the hole of the notorious Mrs Figg between supporters of the stranglely similar rivals for Mayor, Odo and Orwell. The controversy surrounding Mrs Figg herself, as well as her famous ginger pussy, Ginger Meggs, is likely to further stir the basest instincts and motivations of unclean Hobbits. Sadly, the Forumshire Shirriff's Office has been at the center of the pussy controversy, and so is unlikely to help calm the developing tensions. At a press conference on the situation, Admin Eldo promised that he would assign the new Mayor to resolve the Shirriff situation as soon as he or she is elected. We at State News applaud this decision, as the current Shirriff, Mirabella Banks, has been an embarassment to conservative, prudish, morally-repressed Hobbits during her entire term.

Forumshire State News RCyim
Security or liberty?: Shirriffs under the command of Mirabella Banks break up a pre-election rally.

While not all rumors can be confirmed, the latest reports to make the journalistic rounds suggest that the threats to Forumshire (and particularly its most important institution, the State Administration) may reach much deeper. Rather than simply rabble-rousers in the street, there may be a conspiracy within the ranks of the Mayoral candidates to seize power for themselves and overthrow our beloved Admin. Such blatant disregard for the constitutional limits on the office of Mayor, as well as disrespect for the Admin who saved us from the Dark Planet, can not and must not be tolerated by our civilized society. State News calls upon all reasonable Hobbits to defend the security of our State in the streets and on election day by voting for pro-government candidates!

Please help the king
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Post by Orwell Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:29 am

Dear Editor,

In these uncertain times, the readers of State News can be assured beyond any doubt that I for one will remain absolutely loyal to our laudable Leader, Eldo the Magnificent, may the hair on his tootses never go grey!

yours very loyally,
Orwell
Mayoral Candidate,
Ozhobbitstan Shire

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Post by Orwell Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:37 am

{{{Three Farting Stone? Suspect Shouldn't that be "Free"... ?}}}

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Post by Eldorion Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:38 am

Orwell wrote:Dear Editor,

In these uncertain times, the readers of State News can be assured beyond any doubt that I for one will remain absolutely loyal to our laudable Leader, Eldo the Magnificent, may the hair on his tootses never go grey!

yours very loyally,
Orwell
Mayoral Candidate,
Ozhobbitstan Shire

Dear Orwell,

We're very glad that you say so. It is always reassuring to see politicians, those fickle creatures, reaffirm their loyalty. In totally unrelated news, I'm proud to announce the Administration's new Election Promise Guarantor policy. Any winning candidate found to have gone back on their word or done something they said they wouldn't will be thrown in the lockholes and the position of Mayor passed to the runner-up. As we will be reprinting your letter in our next edition, it counts as a formal statement covered by the guarantor policy. We are confident that we can trust you to keep your promises should the good people of Forumshire select you as Mayor.

Wishing you the best of luck,

Sincerely,

The Editors of State News
Michel Delving, Forumshire
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Post by Eldorion Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:40 am

Orwell wrote:{{{Three Farting Stone? Suspect Shouldn't that be "Free"... ?}}}

"Three Farthing Stone". It's from the books (hey, who said Lore people needed a good sense of humor? Razz). Wink
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Post by Orwell Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:51 am

My mistake, I thought it was Three Fart-hing Stone - with the "h" purely added as an emphasis to indicate the spoken Shire dialect. Ridiculous now that you've explained it. My philology was surely up the creek! You must forgive me though, Eldo, I must have been confusing it with the Three Farting Stones near Rushock Bog, which the locals - Odo once told me - also know as the Three Smelly Sisters. Eerie monoliths, it's said, that make queer windy-boily noises when the wind blows from the southwest across Rushy Pond. Some as say they were three ogres (from Angleshire) who got turned into stone by sunlight - but not by a Wizard, as that would be absolute nonsense! Rolling Eyes It's in the Green Book of Needlehole, apparently, or so Odo said. I'll check... study

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Post by Eldorion Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:56 pm

(10 December 2011)

Forumshire State News
What you need to know, from the people who knew it first.

ELECTION: ODO BANKS' BUSTY LOVE CHILD SCANDAL!

Voters across Forumshire are sure to be shocked by the latest revelations from the election trail! Former party-animal and Lockholes resident-cum-moralizer Odo Banks, long thought to be Forumshire's stuffiest resident, has been abruptly confronted by his sordid past! Said past took the form of one Diamond Banks, new-come to but already famous throughout Forumshire for her delicious melons, who was dramatically revealed earlier this evening to be a long-lost love child of the Large-Headed One.

"I just can't believe that the candidate I thought I supported because of his great moral fortitude would have had an affair with someone from what he claimed was a deficient branch of his family," said one anonymous Banks campaign staffer, who spoke with us by long-distance Palantir from her cat-filled home. "I just don't know who to support in the election now; is there a candidate out there who is at the very least open and forthright about their misadventures with the opposite sex?"

By pure coincidence, we at State News are proud to announce that yes, there is such a candidate. Pretty Tyrant, recent recipient of the much-coveted endorsements of both Admin Eldo and Pure Publications, has been 100% open about the kind of woman she is and the apprehensions that any clear-minded Hobbit should have about getting anywhere near something that could even possibly be construed as a bed with her. Vote Pretty: the honest choice for Mayor!

Follow the lead of the king
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Post by Eldorion Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:12 pm

Forumshire State News
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

ELECTION: ODO BANKS IS FIRST CAMPAIGN CASUALTY; WHO NEXT?

In a result that everyone foresaw, scandal-ridden politician and infamous socialite Odo R. Banks, Esquire has formally withdrawn from the race to become the first Mayor of Forumshire. Mr. Banks' campaign was marred by the emergence of previously unknown sordid facts about his past, as well as his secret daughter, Diamond Banks. That story was broken and brought to you exclusively by State News, until all the private papers picked it up.

With Mr. Banks withdrawal, there are still five candidates remaining in the race. However, Biffo Banks and Kafria (the latter being Odo's replacement for Lorient's nomination) have yet to acknowledge their nominations or participate in the open debate, a prerequisite for inclusion on the final ballot. As these candidates are near-completely incomprehensible and tragically absent, respectively, they are both seen as unlikely to be eligible by experts.

The remaining candidates: Pretty Tyrant, Orwell, and Ringdrotten are led by Pretty. She has received the much-coveted nominations of both the Administration and Pure Publications. Given how little those two agree on anything (it is thought that prior to the election the only common belief they shared was the necessity of breathing, but that they differed on whether aerosolized buckie or oxygen was what should be breathed), it is clear what a convincing and appealing candidate Pretty is. Unity like this is what Forumshire needs going forward.

Former front-runner Orwell is tarred by his close association with Odo Banks in the public mind, as well as a sense that his campaign is past its prime. Orwell is also an immigrant from Ozhobitstan and in his early days made clear that he was first told of Forumshire by Odo. In recent times Orwell has sought to distance himself from his former friend, partcularly as Odo became an ever more stringent and hypocritical moralist, but Orwell cannot expect the voters of Forumshire to ignore his past when Odo himself didn't receive such treatment.

In fact, State News can exclusively reveal, the ties between Odo and Orwell go far deeper than either have previously cared to admit. Increasing rumors have circulated through Forumshire that the Our Lady academy, sponsored by Odo (where he also teaches), has functioned to funnel unsuspecting young maidens into Orwell's womanizing trap. While no evidence so far suggests that Orwell was ever successful in seducing even a single ladyhobbit (unsurprising to anyone familiar with his public romantic attempts), the people of Forumshire must not vote into office a lecherous old man who would take advantage of education to pursue his desires. In fact, a recent public exchange between Mrs Figg and Petty Tyrant has revealed that Orwell is a narcoleptic who is roused only by the though of very attractive girls. Such distraction cannot be tolerated in the line of duty.

Speaking of duty, one candidate who undoubtedly understands such things is Ringdrotten, the mighty Norwegan soldier of Forumshire. However, while he would surely be an efficient Mayor and shore up Forumshire's military might, it remains to be seen what he would do in response to Forumshire's domestic issues. He is on record advocating "respect and fairness" with regards to matters of justice, which suggests to those of us at State News a disappointing level of idealism, especially one a military man.

That concludes our candidate profiles, stay tuned for further coverage up to and through election day from YOUR State News, Forumshire's only official new service!

We love the king
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:31 pm

What is going on here? I smell a smelly rat. State News and Pure Publications supporting my half-baked sister and her even more half-baked policies? If the Archet Bugle comes out in support of her too I thnk I may go mad. Again.

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Post by Pretty Tyrant Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:39 pm

Oh shut your whistle Petty! As if you even understand my policies. And don't fret over your precious buckie, there is provsion in the laws I am dratfing for limited amounts to be doled out to those with a medical need. You should get, almost a barrels month I reckon. Very Happy

Thank you state News for seeing the potential I offer as Mayoress, I might slip by your offices some time to instruct you further on all my positions. Wink But first this girl has to do her shopping. I have a hot photoshoot for my ad campiagn to attend and I need a new pair of thigh-high boots, the heels on my old ones are almost worn away- some men have some very rough chests. And my new campaign donars have been ever so generous and I wouldn't want to disappont them by not using all their donations up and they ask for so little in return, but then with me even if you only get a little its still a hell of a lot more memorable than getting a lot from others. Another reason to Vote Pretty.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:44 pm

A barrel a month! affraid One bloody barrel! You wait till Da hears about this, you are so in for it Pretty. This is just to spite me, admit it, your whole campaign is just to get me back for being the popular handsome one out of us all these years.
I swear if I catch up with you on the campaign trail I am going to....well I was going to say expose you but as everyone and their cat (especially Mrs Figg's) have already seen that I'll have to think of something worse. ...And I will... really... I promise...just you wait sis...... only let me have a drink first while I think of something to bring you down. Twisted Evil (Orwell I think we need to convene an emergency startegy meeting if you're to win this thing).

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Post by Orwell Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:28 pm

Err... sadly, I think I might have to withdraw from the race... not that I'm admitting anything, mind! Mad

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:32 pm

What you can't Orwell!! That would only leave Pretty, Ringdrotten, Biffo and Kafria- whose not even here!!!! People keep dropping out like this Pretty might actually win the bloody thing! And think of the poor workers at NotP- if you drop out they'd have to go to the presses tonight, and tonights their topless darts night with the Hobbit Lasses of the Day, there'll be outrage if they get taken away from that.

--slap--- Come to your senses lad!!- slap- You can win this thing You've got the gift of the politician- you can talk endless bullsh*t. Come on, together, you me and ths barrel of buckie we can do it!

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Post by Orwell Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:58 pm

I might consider a comeback, if folk could forget all those salacious rumours... Anyhow, Biffo Banks has entered the race, and, after Odo visited and showed great generosity to me by handing over a substantial... err... but inexpensive gift, I decided to jump on board his campaign.

Vote One: Biffo Banks.... He's got, what? - Muscles! {{{Oh Sweet Eru! Rolling Eyes }}} .


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Post by Eldorion Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:01 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:(Orwell I think we need to convene an emergency startegy meeting if you're to win this thing).

What's this? Not a conspiracy, I hope?! But it could explain some of that peppermint scent that has been following Petty and Orwell around (forgot your encryptors, perhaps?). Mad
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Post by Orwell Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:17 pm

What an outrageous thing to say, Eldo, you should know better.

Anyhow, henceforth, I shall be sticking to the Campaign trail. You can find me on the DEBATE thread henceforth. (Bloomin' heck, I go to bed and when I get up there's four thousand posts on Forumshire. It's taken me all morning to catch up! I'm sticking to one thread for awhile. Keep the Campaign simpler that way, I think. Oooh my eyes hurt!!!!)

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Post by Eldorion Fri Dec 16, 2011 7:22 am

Forumshire State News
"What you need to know, from the people who knew it first."

ELECTION DAY SHOCKER: SECRET POLICE ARREST PETTY & ORWELL

Mere hours before the polls open on Forumshire's first every Mayoral election day, the State Secret Police have arrested Forumshire celebs Petty Tyrant and Orwell in what they say is the result of a months-long investigation. News of this development shocked citizens throughout Forumshire as they prepared to cast their votes for the long-awaited position of Mayor. The situation is further complicated since the idea of Mayoral elections was first proposed by Petty Tyrant and heavily promoted by the paper he works for: the Daily Purist.

A spokesman for the Administration would not go into much detail, as is to be reasonably expected from a matter involving the Secret Police. As far as can be determined from official statements, the Secret Police began their investigation after the abortive coup attempt following Admin's brief absence this past October. Petty Tyrant, Moderator and highest-ranking active official in the Administration after Admin Eldo (not including Her Maj, who is above it all), claimed that he was only attempting to keep the seat of power warm, and the issue was not pressed further at the time.

Forumshire State News 3nyGI
Secret Police, bearing the Mark of Admin, extract Petty and Orwell from the closet in which they were hiding.
However, it has come to light due to exceedingly professional intelligence work and a groundbreaking Encryption Network Surveillance System developed from Admin's official technology, the Secret Police have determined that Petty and Orwell exchanged numerous seditious messages and have repeatedly plotted to overthrow the Admin. While the October Coup failed and also resulted in Petty losing control of the Forumshire Buckie Reserve to Queen TIn, the conspirators have evidently regrouped. It is now being suggested that a new plot has been hatched this election season.

Candidate Kafria has already suggested that Biffo Banks, one of the remaining candidates in the election after Odo Banks and Orwell both withdrew, is a puppet of the Banks Clan and others. It has not been officially stated if the Petty/Orwell plot involves Biffo, but reliable sources close to the Administration have indicated that this is the case. The Administration announced yesterday that it would require candidates to take a "Loyalty and Capability" oath based on the advice of the Secret Police, which appears to have been well-founded.

For now, it is expected that both Petty and Orwell will be released on bail after questioning. This will allow them to exercise their democratic right to vote; let it not be said that the Administration is unfair even to those who oppose it. Stay tuned to State News -- your only official Forumshire news source -- for all the latest updates in this breaking story.

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