LITTLE FORUMSHIRE in FULL COLOUR (Unwanted visitors risk interference!)

Oh no, Im not falling that...AGAIN!

lives by the trade
dressed in black
firescaped back
forward in bed

Forward before bed tends to increase your chances of getting to bed- and if your male then mission accomplished after that making sure she has a good time too is more an optional extra!-from the big book of Scots male thinking

when your getting paid the luxury of pleasure is at the otherside of the bed

In the wallet?

broken dreams of broken people

You get paid in broken dreams? That must make paying the rent tricky.

don't pay rent if you're a ghost and no they are my clients
inside their wallets expenses I relieve them

That must be tricky, getting their particulars into a wallet before relieving them.

no, their money is their expense
Wandering souls fall prey of paper ink in the minds of the backally dark

Then so long as wandering souls avoid the minds of backalleys all is good.

well then you don't pay 4 my service

You thought I was going to pay? Me?!!

the night is on fire there is no need for blame the table stands empty

a mundane reference to esoteric girl it all began but was she accidental

Dont you bloody well start too Orwell.

boring old lions get bored quicker than tender young lionesses, nature sometimes reversed [apparently]

buying a garlic crusher look at 6 different ones they all look like I could use them to crush my foes probably should just buy a sword

ESOTERICA

laid a net ten miles long
caught ten dolphins in a throng
of tuna fish
and long legged squid:
well, Hey, this is a Miracle

shot ten grizzlies
then there were none,
no more danger just skateboard fun
in the concrete wide open spaces
of nature gone unbound

gutzed ten burgers in Big Mac
the primest beef to be had
some say it's all connective
with trees disease and Amazon

i fail to understand - it's esoterica
i fail to comprehend - it's esoterica

let loose ten cats let die ten birds
don't know about you but i have head
that pussycats just love to dine
on spider flowers of grevilleas
they suck up nectar then they purr
then they stretch
then they return
to Mummy's little armsqueeze
in an armchair
by the heater

watched a movie on TV
of bombers in the Middle East
ten thousand died but no one really died
when God's angel went to the press
he said:
I'm no longer depressed
'cause they've found oil out there in the desert

I paddled up a stream of what seemed to be contagion
grease and paper and condons and a suilphury kind of stink
dead bodies of birds and fish gazed up at me quite bemused
and i must admit I'm just that little bit confused

but then i always fail to understand esoterica
i always fail to comprehend this esoterica

'Song for Ally of the Nineties' by A.A. Milne left out of "When We Were Very Young."

Wisey Banks

finally Wisey's back!

Back but off his rocker.

Odo: I've called you here again because...

Orwell: 'Because' of that scandalous conglomerate of crap Mrs Figg wrote! Why must she always distort everything about me while being so damn accurate about those beastial Forumshirans!

Odo: She called me OdoWormtongue..

Orwell: Yes - a perfectly true and applicable... ... ... Oh! Terrible distortion, that...

Odo: Something must be done about her.

Jane: Well, what goes in Forumshire should stay in Forumshire. You said that yourself, Odo.

Mirabella: Yes, Uncle, what were you doing over there anyway? I thought you'd turned your back on Forumshire and all their ... what did you say?.. of yes, 'mindless crapadoddle'.

Biff: Worss zun Bree.

Odo: Yes, Biffo. Thanks for your contribution.

Orwell: I need to punish that Figg woman... Drastic punishing. Needs to learn a lesson.

Jane: I thought you and Mrs Figg had an, let us say, an understanding, Orwell?

Odo: And anyway, are you the type to punish her? I mean to say...

Biffo: Ee cood fludder iz hunky ut er!

Orwell: Watch it, beastie!

Biffo: Doen u effer cawl me uh beestee!

Orwell: Maybe you need to be taught a lesson too, Biff!

Biffo: Ooooweeee! Ime scarrit!

Odo: Yes, let's not get fanciful shall we, Orwell... Or should I say, Orwie...

[Much twittering in Council].

Orwell: One day I'll show you a side of me you've never seen before - Beware!

Mirabella: I imagine we've seen you from every direction by now, Orwell.

Jane: And both naked and in a dress...

Orwell: Beware! I say! [Draws himself up to his full height].

Odo: Orwell, I know it's hard for you, but please don't be a ponce for once.

Orwell: [under breath] Wormtongue.

Jane: Is that a fresh tub of jelly over there Odo?

Odo: It is - and I certainly hope we're not going to resort to that mouldy old chestnut to get a laugh.

Jane: Actually, it's those jokes that are evergreen. Think of all Mrs Figgs fart jokes. They can't fail no matter how often you bring them out. Ol Anon has used them himself at times, with less impact of course -- poor jealous hobbit he is. Anyway, the point is, you must please your audience and they love the personal and familiar and the crude...

Odo: Be quiet, please! I won't have a kind word said about that woman's handiwork, Jane. Perhaps I'll get someone to give her a proper beating...

Orwell: I said that I would deal with her!

Mirabella: And you've had such great success so far. What are you going to do to her?

Biffo: Hunky.

Orwell: Watch it, Big Nose! .. ... Look here! What I plan to do is go over to her Empororium, throw her over a chair, lift her skirt and give her a damn rollicking spanking of the worst kind.

Mirabella: She wishes...

Orwell: I won't be taking her feelings into account, don't you worry about that. It will be a spanking of special magnificence.

Odo: Giving her what she wants is not what's called for - she needs proper punishment - not fulfilling her every dream, Orwell. [under breath] And as if you're capable of it anyway.

Orwell: I heard that! And it's not funny.

Odo: No it isn't.

Jane: Pathetic, yes. Sad, yes. Funny, no.. but then again.

Mirabella: Chestnuts?

Jane: Indeed, Mirabella. Indeed!

Odo: Hey, get away from my jelly, Mirabella. What are you thinking?

Mirabellla: I know it's risky...And maybe if I'm not looking... looking for someone creeping up behind me... you know..! Sorry! Am I giving away what's about to happen next?

Jane: There is always a certain predictabilty about these Councils. Could get boring.

Mirabella: Beats Mrs Figgs Post Modernism every time, though.

Jane: Oh Mrs Figg uses it, of course, but he throws in all sorts of tricks and subtleties and ironies and imagery and... Anyone, it's not just Post Modernism -- and usually even that use is tongue in cheek when she's not being positively malignant towards that kind of stuff.

Biffo: And varble commoonicashon..

Jane: True.

Odo: Enough! I'm going to ring a Orc about a Hit.

Jane: Oh dear! You mean 'hit' as in a 'hit'?

Odo: [Nods maliciously]

Mirabella: I've nver seen you nod maliciously before, Uncle. Oh how scary. I feel faint...

Odo: Not near my jelly you don't!

Jane: I think it's too late for that, Odo.

Orwell: [rushing up behind Mirabella]. I'll catch you before you fall, Bella...

Mirabella: Hey! ... Watch where you're putting your hands, you creep... ... ...

[Sound of two bodies in short skirts colliding and squelching down with floundering limbs into a tub of jelly].

Odo:

Two bodies in short skirts, eh?

just you wait my fine fellows!


((((I am going to put some jelly down his undercrackers while he slumbers, oh yes )))))