Can Anyone Help - I have a Teenager

I went into my son's room one day - against my better judgment - and he had clothes strewn everywhere. Filled with the anger of Odin - or Thor, you know the really angry one - I grabbed up a big armful of what I presumed was ALL dirty clothing. He complained - very loudly in an obvious fit of heartfelt annoyance - that some of the clothes were clean. Yes, his contention was that among the chaotic mix and shuffle on his floor, under his bed, on his bed, at the foot of his cupboard, wrapped in damp towells - need I go on? - there were actually items of perfect untouched cleanliness.

I suggested to my wife shortly after that it might be best just to euthanize him. At sixteen he knows Everything and tells me to f*&k off a little too often for comfort. My Missus told me that euthanizing your teenager is no longer legal.

My son is a teenager, can anyone help?

Sounds just like his dad.

I hear it passes with time. Though this is the male specimen, so it might stick for some time. 10-20 years in some cases.
Man, I am NOT looking forward till my kids are teenagers.

Amarië wrote:Sounds just like his dad.

That's the trouble, Amarie. I can't really tell him off for what I was guilty of --- though, I swear, never as guilty as he is of! I also swore not to get as obnoxious and 'put-downy' as my Father about things like that. Talk about a poison chalice!

Amarië wrote:Man, I am NOT looking forward till my kids are teenagers.

And nor should you. Teenagehood make the terible '2's' seem like a jaunt in Nirvana.

Listen teenage lads are liking the ladies arent they? so they dont want to pong do they? they want to look cool dont they? I think they have an instinct about which tshirt to wear, like cats know that their bed is dirty and go and sleep in another part of the house. its the same with boys, they will eventually grow out of the grunge phase and start grooming and become metrosexual with more products than a girl, but at 16 they are at that awkward rebel without a cause phase, all hormones no Ford Escort, so dont worry about it, this has happened since the dawn of time.

I don't understand your anger. As a bachelor farmer I can assure you that cleanliness is a relative concept. There's no such thing as "clean" or "dirty", just '"cleaner" and "dirtier". I'm afraid I gotta side with your son on this one.

Mrs Figg wrote:Listen teenage lads are liking the ladies arent they? so they dont want to pong do they? they want to look cool dont they? I think they have an instinct about which tshirt to wear, like cats know that their bed is dirty and go and sleep in another part of the house. its the same with boys, they will eventually grow out of the grunge phase and start grooming and become metrosexual with more products than a girl, but at 16 they are at that awkward rebel without a cause phase, all hormones no Ford Escort, so dont worry about it, this has happened since the dawn of time.

My daughter - while by no means close to being a disgusting grot - actually takes less time with personal hygiene than my boy does. He is something of a metrosexual, though he hasn't gone to the next step of wearing make-up. He also puts towells (clean ones) over his computer and computer desk to ensure a perfect germ free Gaming Interface. So we have a very clean boy and a very clean Gaming Interface amid utmost squalor. He likes his bedsheets to be pristinely clean - and even now gets his Mummy to make them perfectly straight when she changes them - and he will shower before he goes to bed (about twelve on weeknights - after an hour or two of parental bullying for him to go to bed) and then shower again in the morning (after much parental hand wringing and angry distemperish bullying/pleading to get out of bed and off to school).

We thought for awhile he was a freak, until other parents told us that he was by no means a freak - you should of heard how eccentric some other parent's kids were! No, they said, you haven't got a freak, so to speak, you have just got a teenager. But why us?

Also, Mrs Figg, my boy doesn't take much notice of girls (officially - the damn sneak! ) He just has quite few girls as friends. I have theories about what's goin' on ( ) - and behind his parent's back, I might add. I was, of course, never sneaky like that myself... or not that I can remember...

David H wrote:I don't understand your anger. As a bachelor farmer I can assure you that cleanliness is a relative concept. There's no such thing as "clean" or "dirty", just '"cleaner" and "dirtier". I'm afraid I gotta side with your son on this one.

But you never got over that 'silver's shoe business, did you, David? You're hardly neutral!

your son sounds well adjusted and perfectly teenagerish, I would just go on with buisness as usual if i were you, and if I know boys, the more you go on about stuff the more they dig in, and do stuff just to see you go red in the visage. They like being hard put on and martyrish, its the Emo thing. They dont do easy going parents, its boring.

Generally I'm too tied up in Forumshire to bother with him. I mostly engage with him when he wants something, at which time he is a lovely natured boy and I have an instant flashback to when he would cuddle up with me on the couch and give me lots of kisses and watch Toy Story with me. I also instantly recall reading "Danny, Champion of the World" by Roald Dahl to him about ten times. We both loved that. On the incidence of said engagements, and remembering a beautiful boy who could do no wrong, I instantly give him everything he wants, and within five minutes things are back to normal. He tells me to "Get f*&$#$d" about something and I come back here where people tolerate me in some degree. Life's a bugger and then you die.

Oh and he doesn't eat enough vegetables, except fries. His Mother says he does eat fruit. Fruit? How does she expect him to become a man eating fruit?

get him some dinosaur shaped vitamin chews, the ones for little kids, then he will get all the necessary vitamins while being post modern and ironic.

You people make us teenage males sound like some strange, alien species.

You are! but cool non the less.

Mrs Figg wrote:get him some dinosaur shaped vitamin chews, the ones for little kids, then he will get all the necessary vitamins while being post modern and ironic.

That is brilliant!

Eldorion wrote:You people make us teenage males sound like some strange, alien species.

That is typical!

Mrs Figg wrote:You are! but cool non the less.

Enough of the Mothering instinct, Mrs Figg. Tell him what you really think.

Orwell wrote:

Eldorion wrote:You people make us teenage males sound like some strange, alien species.

That is typical!

I hate to break it to you, Orwell, but ... you were once a teenage male too.

Trying to be serious for a moment, I realize that I don't know your family situation and I obviously can't speak to this from a parenting perspective. However, maybe it would be a good idea to try (if you haven't already) discussing contentious issues like tidiness or whatever when it's not an immediate issue? Like wait until everyone has calmed down and then discuss the issue at dinner or sometime instead of waiting for the issue to arise on its own and people to get agitated.

I'm not entirely sure what to suggest if you have tried that. However, I think that whoever said it's a normal phase is probably right. "Teenage rebellion" comes in varying intensities for different people but I think it's something that usually passes as people mature, which is a gradual process (not to say that I'm completely mature or anything ).

Eldorion wrote:Trying to be serious for a moment, I realize that I don't know your family situation and I obviously can't speak to this from a parenting perspective. However, maybe it would be a good idea to try (if you haven't already) discussing contentious issues like tidiness or whatever when it's not an immediate issue? Like wait until everyone has calmed down and then discuss the issue at dinner or sometime instead of waiting for the issue to arise on its own and people to get agitated.

Are you raving mad, Eldo? My son would then say something true and applicable like: "But you leave your dirty undies lying about, Dad." And, "Since when do you want to have a serious and considerate respectful conversation with me? You just want me to do what you don't always do yourself, you hypocrite." (Oh gawd. I remember all that effort I went to when he was young to point out to him the hypocritical behaviour of people, never expecting he would start watching me so closely! ) Eldo, this thread is all about finding ways to get him to obey his Father without question, it's not about comparing our shortcomings - and I admit I have one, maybe two.

Eldorion wrote:I'm not entirely sure what to suggest if you have tried that. However, I think that whoever said it's a normal phase is probably right. "Teenage rebellion" comes in varying intensities for different people but I think it's something that usually passes as people mature, which is a gradual process (not to say that I'm completely mature or anything ).

Look teenage rebellion might have been all well and good when I was growing up in the 70's, Eldo, but isn't it time we moved on as a species, hmmm?

Orwell wrote:
But you never got over that 'silver's shoe business, did you, David? You're hardly neutral!

No I haven't, and who asked for neutral?

It was implied, David - implied?

Orwell wrote:It was implied, David - implied?

I see where your son gets it.

Are you calling me argumentative -- are you?

My son is argumentaive, of course.

Hey. And you support him, David; is that not so!

Now, through a process of logical consideration, that makes you just like him, doesn't it. Yes -- you're argumentative, but I'm clearly not.

{{{Note to Self: Sound reasoning will always defeat the rustic bumpkin wit of these farmer types, and every time, methinks }}}.

Twa pages o' bleating and grumbling an its aw yire ain fault Orwell!
No wan mention aw a daily beating, nae mention aw a daily ba' kicking, noo even a wee smack in the mooth fir cheek- an yi wunder why yire bairns'll no respect yi?
An its nae use starting noo- he's nearing a man its just assualt noo (and he might take yi!)- yi hud tae be geing him the severe malky fae when he wis a nipper, yire ain lad shid be shittin in he's keeks at jist the hint o raised haund or swingin boot.
Nae doubt yo wir wan aw they 'wi didnae smack oor boys', types that wis smug at parties when yir kids wir still wee and nae problem- well look at yise noo! Gitting a mooth full o abuse frae the result o yir ain loins! A've nae sympathy - we neer hud this trouble wi Petty- whenever he misbehaved, annoyed us, or wis breathing tae loud he'd be beating aw the way doon tae the pit in the basement- funny story a forgit aboot him wan time and he wis doon there in the dark wi the rats and spiders for best part o a year. Still eh?- never did him oany harm.

{{{Orwell, are you saying he resembles me more than you? Could you remind me who his mom is again? On second thought, never mind. What's that? The telephone? Sorry, I've got to run! }}}