The story of of Eldo as the Howard Hughes-esque character in his pyjamas and bathrobe (I picture him a kind of Arthur Dent looking character) in his low rent hole in Rushock Bog with one of the walls blown out

"It certainly is a grey day," Blue said, gingerly stepping around a puddle, careful with his gleaming leather shoes.
"Yes," Eldo considered, "almost like Dark Plant Day all over again."
"Plant?" Blue said, swearing as a frog almost jumped onto his shoe. The half meter vertical jump the lawyer made seemingly  was impressive however.
"Sorry," Eldo said, carefully picking up the frog and releasing it just off the side of the road, wiping his hands on the bathrobe distractedly "That was the way the News of the Pure covered it, and it just got stuck in my head for some reason. Like when I go to restaurants.. I always ask for an egg planet.."
"That's rather suggestive.." Blue started.
"Yeeees, I'll emoji them abt it," Eldo sighed.
"Soooo, dark plant day?" Blue asked "Egg plant?"
"Oh, no dark, yes, plant, no. But that's all ancient history. I quit politics, remember."
"Of course. I wrote the resignation letter." Blue sighed.
"Yeeees, I did say, when you asked me about my pension fund, to give it to the charity of your choosing.."
"Yeeees," Blue responded in a carefully neutral tone.
"... Weeell, I guess I'm not saying legal aid for lawyers was a bad choice.." Eldo sighed.
"Of course not," Blue smiled. "Very important cause that."
"Well, I'm glad you lawyers get your legal bills covered." Eldo coughed.
"Oh, lawyers always get paid," Blue smiled. The smile was even broader now, the eyes hinting at an inner mirth.

"So, this plant..." Blue continued.
"Oh, it's not that important. The NotP did a big spread on it, you can read all about it there. But, basically. A lot of cloak and dagger stuff, politics, you know, mindless aggressiveness. Like Foucault said.."
"Errrr.. of course..." Blue added. "Pendulums and all?"
"Precisely," Eldo stated "Basically, it was a takeover from up high. You woke up to a different place, different branding. And you know how refugees stoke up nationalist emotions.."
"And now?" Blue asked lokng at the clouds. "It's happening again?"
"Hah," Eldo laughed mirtlessly. "Not saying it is, but the clouds are undeniably grey, no." He laughed, although he didn't really know why, somehow it seemed the right thing to do in the circumstances.
"But.." Blue continued. "Can it really? The Forumshire constitutional system.. the Forumshire courts.."
"Oh, the law," Eldo said deadpan. "You think that's normative. This is all one level up. These people make laws. And when you make laws they somehow come off seeming all the more fluid. If you consider a law.." he started.
"Ok..." Blue said. "I think I can manage that." He seemed to put on his professional face and manner. The eyes became a bit sharper, although they were staring into nothing now. The hands came together and folded in front of him.
"Ok, consider a law, but don't see it as something definitive."
"Ok," Blue said. "A normative set of rules, that set limits for legally acceptable behaviour, but not something definite."
"Ok. Think of behaviour.." Eldo switched tack to tackle this definition head on.
"Ok," Blue said. "Thinking hard, of behaviour, obviously."
"As... a river." Eldo continued, stretching his point into metaphor. "For normal people like you and I laws are like dams, they control the water flows. For these people laws are simply constructs to shape the flow of the river, constructs that change with regard to the needs of the present tense.
"Ok, I think I follow that metaphor. Although, I think it might need some work." Blue laughed.
"Tell me about it," Eldo sighed. "I work with what I'm given. Now, these people. They don't feel constrained by laws they make and change the laws to enact their choices. Laws, in their mind are their opinion of how things should be. And from there there is only a small step, from thinking that laws change with your opinion.."
"Yes," Blue offered.
"To your opinion being law." Eldo finished. "Sorry," he continued, seeming suddenly awake. "Was I lecturing. It's a tendency of mine that hasn't been indulged lately. Been trying to get away from this politics stuff, you know."
"No, it's fine." Blue said, scratching his head. "Certainly very interesting."
And perhaps it was.

*Neeewasss offffff thaaa puuuuuuuurrrrè*
*Neeewasss offffff thaaa puuuuuuuurrrrè*
Could be heard yelled up the road in a thick Scottish accent.
(Think Sean Connery, then forget all about Sean Connery, and think of the complete opposite, yet still unmistakably Scottish.)
Blue and Eldo came into view of a familiar face sitting in a shabby newspaper stand, a characteristic yellowy cigaret bud in the corner of his mouth.
"Hello Petty," Eldo smiled familiarly. "Office day, I see."
Petty uttered something unintelligible, which had the ring of an obscure profanity of some proportion.
"Cann-ee gett outta iit, ladde." Petty finished more subdued, after a short coughing fit, spitting at the grass verge at the edge of the road. Still, somehow too close to comfort for Blue's leather shoes  who made another rather panicked jump, Blue amiably following suit, yet not managing to avoid it entierly.
"Damn-ee lauwyer quiblll." Petty finished with a short begrudging grin of amusement seeing the shiny leather shoes a little less shiny. "That'll giive them thaat fashinable weell travvelled look." He winked not unfriendily at Blue, who was still staring at his shoes. "Nee iinsultt to present compan-ee, nee." He hasted to add, taking out and lighting another cigaret that had been expertly been placed behind his ear.
"What? Oh.." Blue said. Seemingly not in the loop of the drift of the conversation. "Sure." He said with all the winning legal personality he could muster.
"Shame to hear that." Eldo said dreamily, not seeming to have paid much attention to the passing proceedings, having near automatically slipped back into his old admin persona. "Ever though of letting it all go?" He asked with a smile. "It does so relieve the stress. There's a new hole to let down in Ruschock. I could put in a good word for you."
"Would-ee neever work with thee compan-ee, ladde." Petty said shaking is head. "Yeee could say they gott mee by the weee niiggly bitts.." He finished, spitting again. This time aiming expertly for a passing frog.
"Well, anyway, my door is always open," Eldo said, still in full admin mode.
"And what-ee door woulda that-ee bee?" Petty said, a sharp look of triumph in his eye knowing he had got one over on the young admin.
Eldo, for a second startled, knowing he had been talking of his old office door in the admins tower, quickly slipped into off-work mode.
"Oh, just use the window," he quipped.  
"Of course we don't guarantee your safety in case of accident if you decide, of your own free will, to use the window," Blue added quickly wishing to be helpful. "But my client would like to make it clear that you are always welcome. Whatever the means of your appearance." He smiled. (And somehow convincingly, Eldo thought startled. A real legal talent.)
"Oh... begann to yee.." Petty said grumbling, spitting forcefully. Knowing that once again in their year long game of private one-upmanship the young admin had once again slipped the net. Who would have known he would stoop to surrealism, and the that damn lawyer had hammered the effect home.
"Oh, never mind." Eldo smiled magnanimously. These small games of sophism with Petty had only been a small part of his admin duties, but he found it an enjoyable throwback. He guessed he still got it. IT. Whatever it was..
"Well, I'll have a paper, of course," Eldo said, "but I think we must get on our way. Headin down to the old homestead.." He finished.
"Ah-yee, suure yee want tee do that, ladde?" Petty said, an not un-uncle-ee look of affection in his eyes for the young man. "Ole-ee reeeds are smtiimes best leeft untrodden.."
"No, worries," Eldo smiled. "After all, I got my lawyer," he smiled broadly at Blue.
"Lawyeers," Petty said and spat. "Nee offence.." He said to Blue, almost convincingly.
"Ohhh," Blue said quickly. "Only appropriate levels of offence taken, I assure you."
"Geeeeeeeed," Petty said. For the first time really smiling.
"What's todays news?" Eldo asked as Petty handed him a paper.
"Weeeell, not your holideeeys for unce. Let's saayy nee baad neeews... eh..." Petty winked.
"Of course," Eldo smiled his magnanimous smile and handed Petty a rather large note.
"Wheeeeeet..." Petty said. "I canna change thees," he said shaking his head.
"Oh," Eldo said, seeming surprised. After a moment. "Keep the change."
They walked off.

Eldo and Blue were walking down the road, which stretched towards the Admins' Tower. Blue's work place, and Eldo's old home. Eldo tried not to feel bad about it though, it had been a choice, and not one he regretted. After all, being a normal citizen had a lot less paperwork, and a whole lot more.. cabbages.. yes, that was the word he had been looking for.. he thought.
"That was a rather extrodinary sum to pay for a paper," Blue said, this being money, he was probably a little shocked.
"Oh, it's only a joke we share," Eldo laughed. It was odd really, for an outsider it might perhaps not be so obvious.
"Well, if a laugh for your joke costs that much, I would be bankrupt already," Blue laughed
"Sure?" Eldo asked, intermittent.
"Well, I would like to think so... orrrrrrr.." Blue considered. "Something like that."
"Well, you see," Eldo said. "The truth is... he doesn't really need it." He was trying not to smile, most people didn't know this and he found it funny. He however had had to countersign the Forumshire tax data for years, therefore it was impossible not to know. He and Petty had made a joke of it over the years of course.. or, at least, he had.
"Need it? The guy always ask me for a fiver for some smokes or a drink at Duck and Muck, and to be friendly to the less fortunate, I always help out, you know."
Eldo couldn't help to laugh out loud.
"Sorry," he said at Blue's stunned look. "No offence meant. Your generosity is most likely more than welcome, it is just.. in this case a little.. misplaced."
"Why?" Blue asked.
"Well, for a start," Eldo said, having forgot all about any lingering emotions of heading back to the AT. (He was mentally abreviating at this point.) "Just between you and me... he doesn't..." Eldo was whispering now, "really need  it."
"What," Blue said. "Are you sure?"
"Hey, come now," Eldo said, filling his chest and trying to rise up to his former administrative self. "I told you I saw the tax details now, didn't I?" He felt himself smiling.
"And?" Blue asked.
"Well, betwen you and me.." Eldo started. "Well, you know this supposed Bear Gryllson?"
"The head of the NotP media empire? Sure.." Blue said, glad to be back on safe ground.
"Well.." Eldo said, feeling a bit like a parent telling an errant child Santa Claus did not exist. "He is not strictly... real."
"No?" Blue asked, shocked.
"No," Eldo said. "Purely a tax construct."
"Ahhhhhh.." Blue said, finally, it seemed, feeling back on safe ground. "And the owner of the media empire?" He asked.
"None other than our friend back there," Eldo supplied knowingly.
"Bfffff..." Blue said, there was a moment of silence. "That is sur... prising. " the pause seemed to last eons. "He never lets on, you know, I'll give him that. Delivers the paper, works in the office, helps out, and never let's on.. he actually owns the damn thing?!"
"Well, he's got his own office for whenever he wants to come in and wirte something special, I think, but other than that he likes to keep it quiet," Eldo agreed.
"So, the owner of the NotP empire, Angmanr & Sons, the real Bear Gryllson is actually.. Petty?" Blue said gobsmacked.
"Born and bred," Eldo said. In a nationalistic American twang. He tried not to feel too proud. "Richest man in Forumshire, actually. By quite some distance."
"What? I always thought that was.. Orwell. You know, the richest man in Forumshire," Blue said. "Straddling around town, always a wad of cash in hand, or an extra pony on his carriage, as you say.. whenever I saw him, anyway. A true spend-thrift."
"Oh, well, Orwell," Eldo said, trying not to smile even more. "Petty always thought it was funny to have someone run around town like they owned the place, so.."
"Yes?"
"He put him on a retainer." Eldo couldn't help to chuckle. "A quite substantial retainer, actually. Guess it's his sense of humour."
"Wow," Blue said, shocked. "I never knew. And the barrel?"
"I guess he thinks it's comfortable," Eldo shrugged.
"Sure," Blue said. It was not for him to question the life choices of the richest man in Forumshire, of course. "I never knew.." He left hanging in the air.
"Well, that is what you get for hanging out with the admin;" Eldo said, feeling his old self. "Well, former, of course. Now, let's keep going, eh, or we'll never get there."
"You tell me," Blue said sighing..
"Well, I am actualy," Eldo said cheerfuly.
"Oh, but, of course," Blue laughed back. For such a long walk, at least it seemed a friendly, and informative, one.
(...)
"So, Petty," Blue said.
"Yup," Eldo said.
"The richest man in Forumshire?"
"That's right! Eldo said.
"Stone the crows," Blue said.
"Now, don't tell anyone, the tax files are confidential for the admin, and even if I am not," he sighed a bit invardly "adming anymore, there is still the ethical angle, but you would knwo all about that in you profession."
"The ethical angle," Blue laughed. "Oh.. yes, of course."

"Now, don't tell anyone, the tax files are confidential for the admin, and even if I am not," he sighed a bit invardly "adming anymore, there is still the ethical angle, but you would knwo all about that in you profession."
"The ethical angle," Blue laughed. "Oh.. yes, of course."

Eldorion wrote:I always knew there was something suspicious about Petty's relationship with the NotP, though. Almost as eyebrow-raising as Orwell and the Anon Author...

"Yooper, is that you?" said a woman with fiery red hair that had walked up to them as they neared the Admins' Tower. She kissed Eldo effusively on each cheek repeatedly. 6 times, Italian style.
"*gulp* Eumphffff.." was all Eldo could think, blushing profusely.
The woman grabbed both Eldo's hands.
"How good to see you again," she continued. "How is your mother?"
"Aumpfff.." was all Eldo managed to answer to that, wishing his face would return to his natural colour forthwith. He could see Blue trying not to smirk, and pretend like nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Damn the fellow.
"Come here, let me look at you properly," the woman continued, unabated, showing him into the light of the clear sun. "Now, where have you been. We thought you were gone.. vanished.."
"Lost at the sea?" Blue suggested.
"No no no.." The woman said turning, her skirt, bustle and all swirling with her. "That would be silly." She said shaking her head.
"Eh... Mr. Figg.." Eldo started. "It is me.. Eldo.. Although, I go by Eldy now. It's more.. cool... I guess.." He said, his assurance fading.
"Eldo?" Mrs. Figg said, at first shocked. Then her eyes narrowed. "There you are. I didn't recognize you. Did you colour your hair or something."
"Yeeeees.." Eldo said sheepishly. "Don't you like it? Grey, I mean. It seemed fitting.. for my return."
"Oh, of course.. Eldo.. sorry.. Eldy.. *Very cool, she winked in an aside, flashing him a brilliant smile* Where have you been. I haven't seen you for weeks. We thought you gone.. vanished.."
"Lost at sea?" Blue suggested again hopefully.
"Oh, shut up you silly bugger." Mrs. Figg said brashly. " Well, good to see you again Eldo.. sorry.. Eldy.." She said patting him on the shoulder walking off again. "Come to think of it.. wasn't Yooper always wearing that silly dragon costume.." They could hear her musing as she walked off up the road towards Petty's newspaper kiosk.

They finally approached the Admins' Tower, far too long and exhaustingly visible in the distance. protruding from the surrounding countryside, perched as it was on a hill, giving a clear and magnificent view to the untouched nature of the fjords lying across the hills from the squalid population centre of the Shire. Eldy knew that view well, had it half imprinted on his retina. He had sat there too many mornings, watching the sun rise with a cup of the tea and the day's latest scandal rag in hand, after a long grueling night, trying to settle one petty political dispute or another. You got little sleep as Admin, little luxuries.. well.. maybe some times a chocolate-chip cookie.
Eldo patter the pockets of the bathrobe, nothing there, surely, although she swore she had had the remnants of a Barnum's Animal Crackers Snak-Sak just a short time previ..
"Say, Blue old friend," she intoned, placidly. "You wouldn't happen to have something resembling a chocolate-chip cookie on you, perchance?"
"You know.." Blue said. "I thought I.." he started rummaging through his attache-case.. "I'd say," he said, a little shocked, it seemed. "It seems to be gone.. Sorry, old friend, no luck, could have sworn I had a packet of Famous Amos on me just a minute ago.. There's still some cognac thought," he said, holding up and shaking the bottle, that, true enough, had a little bit left. Eldy quickly shook his head before turning green at the thought.
"No worries," Eldo said a little shily. "Just.. important to keep the bloodsugar up." He finished with what she hoped was a winning smile.

A moment later they finally reached the gate. Blue nodded to the two guards standing on each side of the entrance. They tried to salute smartly back, but they both looked haggard Eldy thought. Like they hadn’t sleept in days. Very different from his days, of course. Eldo had only ever felt the need to keep one guard, and had mostly tasked with helping to control.. by which he meant move, of course.. the paperwork closer to the fireplace.. err.. filing cabinets. The poor old guy had retired early some time ago, complaining of a bad back.. was it? At least that was how Eldy remembered it. It had all been a bit of a blur towards the end. It had certainly been a lot harder to get the paperwork to the correct fireplace.. err.. filing cabinets after the guy had left. What was his name again? Albert..?

They crossed the moat, and walked through the two huge oak doors, left ajar for the general public. It was audience day, after all. A weekly tradition. Eldo hadn't always been that good at holding it up. But he had managed to hold the meeting most weeks, as expected.

A guard hurried up to them, and Blue quickly excused himself and walked off to attend to.. whatever it was.. certainly, seemed important, as the guard seemed rather agitated. "Business, business," Blue could have heard saying appologetically, exhaustedly as he walked off.

Eldo went to the back of the line that had begun forming at the first rung of stairs – a couple of guards stood handily by to keep back the masses – (Masses? Well, they were a couple of people, at least.) Eldy suddenly realized the guy in front of him look very familiar. Big farmers straw hat, big bushy beard, straw jauntily placed in mouth, a sack of corn over the shoulder.

“Dave!” She said trying to put on a semblance of a good smile. “How are you, my dear fellow? Going "Upstairs"?” As the people would normally call the Admins' Audience Chamber. He had built it and come up with the catchy name to have an awe-inspiring effect, but it had never really catched on in the way Eldo had hoped. Far too little awe for authority in this little Shire, he thought, quietly shaking his head.

“David. David. Dave’s my father.” Dave said correctingly, before jauntily continuing. “Can’t complain, can’t complain.. well.. I guess I can.. why I’m here in fact..” he finished grumpily, a tad less jaunty. “Of to see a man.. sorry.. woman.. of course.. about some reindeers*.” His face taking on a fierce look, but it passed quickly. “Well, that is if I ever get in, ever seen this crowd for an audience?”

Eldo couldn’t say he had, normally it had been him, and maybe a couple of people would stop by. Dave to talk about his crops, Halfwise if he had a good story, Norc if she had a gooooood *wink-wink* story, Odo if he had something to complain about, Petty for a complimentary drink and to hand of the paper, (late, normally yesterdays) Blue with some legal quibble that would put Eldo all but to sleep, and so on. But not this many.

“Have to to admit I haven’t seen half these people before,” he related to Dave.
“Me neither,” Dave answered. “I guess Amarië could be coopting her public events with her public events with her responsibilities at the Dark Planet?” Dave mused.
“That certainly sounds very effective,” Eldo said, a little worried. Certainly beyond his level of administrative machinations. A new wind of effectiveness certainly seemed to be sweeping through the Tower
“Weeeeell, nothing to do but wait, ah’suppose,” David sighed and spat.

And so they did.

*Some reindeers were alluded to in a previous part of this story.**
**No reindeers were hurt in the making of this story.

"What happened to the carrots?" Eldo asked Dave innocently.
"The carrots?" Dave asked suspiciously, before his face clearing. "Oh, yeah, let's just say they've been disposed off.." He finished shaking his head. Eldy wondered at the term "disposed off", but he guessed he was better off without hallucinogenic carrots, might be one of those "gateway drugs" he'd been told about.
As they were talking Blue could be seen coming up from the cellars, seemingly commiserating with the guard captain, who seemed on the verge of tars
Blue came walking back up to them.
“Hey, there, David,” he said, seeming a little haggard, but trying to joke through the trouble. “How’s the crop?”
“Transluscent,” Dave said, spitting and shaking his head.
“Ah..” Blue said, clearly not aware this was a possible state for crops.
“Everything okay?” Eldo asked.
“Oh,” Blue said. “Just the normal disasters.. well..”
“Well, what?” Eldy asked pointedly, before remembering he wasn’t Admin anymore.. what was that feeling..? Relief? “Ehh.. none of you guys have any chocolate, do you?” He asked pointedly, after all, it had worked on Harry Potter.
“No, sorry..” Blue said shaking his head apologetically.
“Have some corn,” David said, and spat. “Not sure I would recommend it though.” He continued. “ “Fer a youngun like yerself.” He finished more quietly looking away.
“No, thank you, tough,” Eldo hastend to add.
“Well, I guess you will hear sooner or later,” Blue sighed.
“Yes?” They both were looking attentively at Blue now, who gulped a little under the glares.

“Norc came to the audience,” Blue said finally. “And was rather brazen..”
Eldo and Dave looked at each other, both thinking the other had said something. Turned out, no.
“She told Amarïe.. TOLD her.. that she had to settle.” There was a pause. “In so many words.” There was a telling silence. “If you know what I mean.” Blue finished.
TOLD, Eldy mouthed, with all the severity Blue had put into the word.
“Amarïe had her clapped in irons, and thrown in the lockholes.” Blue continued. “Said she could stew until she learned what words to use in polite company…”
“Hah..” Dave started.
“.. that’s likely to happen..” Eldy finished.
“Precisely..” Blue sighed. “.. and..”
“Yes?” they both said, giving each-other a look.
“.. to her betters..” Blue finished.
“Aiaiai..” Dave said.

“Well..” Eldo started, to let Blue continue.
“The problem, you see, is the guards, she has been rather harsh with them, used some rather harsh language..”
“And?” Eldo said.
“.. Well, they are complaining.. saying she hurt their feelings.. they are going to talk to the Union..”
“So?” Eldo said, feeling he was getting good at this.
“I let her go, can’t have the guards going on strike on audience day.”
“Hah..” Dave started.
“You should have heard what she called me,” Blue said, shaking his head.
“.. and what will Amarïe say to that?” Eldo finished.
“… well…” Blue said. “I was planing to find a good time to tell her..”
“Ah..”

Eldy wrote:Not that I'm saying it has to be one way or the other, but I'm a little unclear if the title character of this tale is still named Eldo or if it switched to Eldy--I wasn't able to discern a pattern to the prose's switches back and forth between names and pronouns. Happy to see this tale moving forward towards finally meeting Amarië, in any event!