The story of of Eldo as the Howard Hughes-esque character in his pyjamas and bathrobe (I picture him a kind of Arthur Dent looking character) in his low rent hole in Rushock Bog with one of the walls blown out

Eldo was sittig outside his hole in lower Rushock Bogg. (It really was low rent, he reflected. (The roof had caved in in the pantry (not that he ate much in any case) the walls were leaking (as was normal in these parts) (Well, the walls that were still there that was.)) He would have been feeling a bit exposed in his pyjamas, but he was wearing his trusty bathrobe, the one thing he had rescued from the Admins' Tower as Amarië, not at all impatiently, had suggested that perhaps somtime in the foreseeable future he perhaps should consider starting to think about perhaps getting his things together.. perhaps.  Still, he guessed he should be feeling.. empty. His life's work done and gone in the flick of a wrist (And a wrist clad in the black glove of the Dark Planet at that.) But if he was going to be honest, and why not be honest, he was only thinking to himself after all, he felt more elated than empty. He had his little hole, his garden, his little cabbage patch. Nothing to look forward too but retirement and growing prized cabbages. He would have been smoking, he thought, (He was sitting outside a hobbit hole, after all.) but such things were unhealthy and really not the thing in these politically correct days in Forumshire, so instead he was chewing on one of Daves carrots. Nothing phallic or symbolic in that he thought, although the carrot had looked odd and looked increasingly oddder as he consumed it. No, simply a nutritional snack. And so the day passed in front of him. Watching the clouds, (There not being any smoke rings. (Carrots not being very flammable.)) the life of forumshire going in in front of him. People hurrying up and down the road, to.. wherever.. Eldo didn't really care. He simply sighed noiselessly and took another bite of his carrot. They could all hurry about as much as they wanted. He was fine spending his days waiting for the milk to arrive. (It never did.)  But that was someone else's problem now. He was fine. Mind, could it be.. that perhaps.. he was.. finally.. happy?  

Azriel was walking up from her hole on Lowest Rushock Bogg Crescent when she spotted her new neighbour sitting outside his hole, dreamily charting the flight of a fly with his finger.
“Hello there neighbour.” She yelled. To think, a former admin in her neck of the.. bog.. she guessed. Not that she liked the look of the place much. One wall of the hole seemed to have been explosively excavated, and everywhere else nature had been allowed to do what it wanted. That were apart from two badly planted rows of cabbages that Azriel audibly could here the yaws of the unseen cabbage worms going through as she spoke.
“I said “How are you?” you daft deaf bugger,” Azriel yelled. Still not getting a response, she walked off in a huff.

“Wait.. did someone.. say something..?” Eldo said dreamily 15 minutes later, raising the carrot to his mouth for another bite.
“I think, you might not want to do that.” A friendly voice said. "That is if this is going to do any good.” Firmly taking the carrot from Eldo and leading him into, the now semi-open air, hole. “Let's get you some coffe, eh?”
“Dave keeps saying he doesn't know why his carrots develop these hypotrophic qualities. I suggested perhaps it was like northerners drinking the urine of reindeer that has been eating magick mushrooms. He wasn't happy. Grabbed his shotgun and was out the door in a jiffy.”

“Sorry? What was that?” Eldo said while, still dreamily, staring out the window. No, scratch that, what had used to be his window, it was now, a hole. Through which he could see a cow two tartan clad men where trying to drag down the road.
“Oh, never mind.” Blue said putting down two cups of coffe and a rather large brandy for Eldo who sniffed at it suspiciously.
“I didn't know I had brandy,” Eldo said trying to regain some semblance of reality.
“You didn't,” Blue smiled. “Lawyers brief. Now, drink up.”
Eldo took an insignificant sip, it felt like his mouth was on fire, and politely put the glass back on the table.
“Now, I am sorry to have to do this, but I'm needed up at the Admins' tower. So, forgive me if I just rush through.”
“Well, I see you've got your pen and notebook ready.” Eldo said.
“I guess it's about time to begin? Van Morrison, right? Saint Dominic's Preview?” Blue smiled.
“Eh.. what..?” Eldo said, suddently back on uncertain ground.
“Oh, never mind.” Blue sighed wistfully. “Now, to business. The admin has most graciously awarded you the minimum Forumshire pension on a honorary basis.”
“Yes?” Eldo said loosing his interest to a toad that was conspicuously jumping across the table. His staring seemed to make it a bit self concious so he shifted his eyes back to the lawyer who was sorting through a stack of notes.
“All, you have to do is sign here.” Blue held out a form, Eldo grabbed for a pen and made to write. Anything to get this legal business over with. Blue was a pleasant fellow mostly. But he had a tendency to drone on about provisions and statutes when in the mood, and human rights. Eldo wasn't against human rights, per se. Although he had never quite understood what all the pretty words actually entailed.
“On a personal note,” Blue said, as Eldo made to scribble down his signature. “I would advise you not to sign that.” Eldo paused, pen in hand.
“Now you want me not to sign it?” Eldo asked exasperatedly.
“Well, as your friend, and I hope I am your friend, as one of your many good friends in Forumshire, I do feel it my obligation to advice you not to sign onto this pension scheeme. I know you fortune was tied up in the name of the forum and as such passed, along with the Admins' tower to the new one. But as I told you before, we can get it back. Please let me sue the Dark Planet. Then at least.." He started
“I'm not all that badly off,” Eldo said defensively.
“Now, come now,” Blue said exasperatedly. “You stand before me in all you still own. Your pyjamas and your bathrobe. Even this leaky old place is a short time let from Amarië to tide you over.” Blue said lookig disparagingly around, quickly brushing a drop that had fallen from the ceiling of his jacket shoulder. “I had to bring my own coffee and brandy. I even had to bring cups.”
“Well, thank you.” Eldo said, making quickly to grab his coffee cup, but grabbing the brandy glass instead. He was glad most of the splatter missed Blues notes, Blue himself though.. The lawyer still looked scandalized. Eldo thought he heard something muttered about “Wasting good brandy..” as he made to brush the brandy off with little effect.
“In any case..” Blue said having regained his efficacious and formal air. “If you sign this document, you sign away any right to the forum fortune. In perpetuity. And I implore you not to consider living off that pension. It will be hardly enough to cover the rent for this place, when Amarië decides it's time for you to stad on your own feet in Forumshire. And that's if Odo gives you a good price, which he won't.”
“Oh, I don't know.” Eldo said getting up and walking towards the newly created hole in his hole. Sniffing the air, the smell of cabbages mixing with the smell of Russock Bogg. “The whole idea seems rather romantic to me.”
“What happened to your wall anyway?” Blue asked, walking over.
“Oh, nothing.” Eldo said regaining his sense of calm. The fresh, well, kind of fresh, air really did help. “My kinda of sort of sometimes room mate felt I needed a change fo scenery.”
“So, he blasted down the wall?”
“Yes, she did. That she did..” Eldo said looking around, his voice trailing off. “But I rather like it. The fresh..”
Blue sniffed audibly.
“..air. The welcoming neighbours..”
The barely audible sound of Scottish obscenities were coming from the road.
“.. the bird song.”
There were an audible sound of amphibians of all sorts in the background.
“Well, more like the frog chorus.” Blue said with a smirk, loosing faith at Eldo's incomprehension. “But, hey. If this is your paradise..” He seemed to be looking around with what to Eldo seemed a fair amount of skepticism. Eldo wondered if he even believed his own words.
“That..” Eldo started “..it might be.. might.. be..”
“Will you please let me take the case to court in any case. We, all your friends, we hate to see you in this destitution.”
“One mans destitution is another mans cabbages.” Eldo laughed, but seeing the look on Blues face he added. “Let me think about it now. We'll see.” And patting Blue on the shoulder he finished “and now..
To the cabbages!”

Blue followed Eldo into the garden. Everything seemed to be overgrown, although you could with difficulty make out a little pond, emanating the intermittent croaking of toads, frogs and other assorted amphibians, and an overturned statue of what looked like a Totoro to Blue and an overturned birdbath, complete with the aforementioned amphibians. Well, everything that was except two streamlined lines of cabbages.

“So, this is..” Blue started.
“My pride and joy,” Eldo agreed.
The cabbagdes didn't look much to Blue, and there seemed to be the intemittent sound of cabbagdes  being eaten, although he couldn't really place it. Although one thing was clear, they were unusually large. Eldo seemed to look at them with a lovig unseeing though. Like a doting grandfather looking proudly at his grandchildren, any faults or failings simply not there.
“I couldn't really get them going at first,” Eldo admitted in a quiet tone. “But Dave helped me out with some fertiliser.”
There was a moment of silence.
“He said it was first grade Scottish,” Eldo continued seemingly oblivious. “Best stuff there is.”
“Want to stay for dinner,” Eldo said to the sudden pin drop silence that had erupted.
“Ehhhhh...” Blue said, for once lost for words.
“Nothing fancy now mind,” Eldo continued. “Sauercraut.”
“Err..” Blue continued. “Well, perhaps next time.” He continued briskly. “I need to get back to the admins tower.”

“Oh, that's fine.” Eldo said, feeling a bit perturbed. These were his prize cabbages after all. But he if nothing, as a former admin, he certainly understood all the stresses of legal and political life. He was wondering if Amarië had gotten through the 10 foot heep of unhandled paperwork he had left in his office. “Another time, certainly.”
“Just so,” Blue said patting him friendly on the back. “Err.. this wall thing.” Blue said surveying Eldo's impressive new hole in his hole wall. “Are you sure you don't want me to have a word with Odo, if I know him right he'll have you tied up in reperation claims until the end of your days.”
“Oh, nevermind that.” Eldo smiled vainly. “I just bought the place.”
“I thought you were skint?” Blue said, shocked?
“I had some money stashed by.”
“You had some money stashed by?” Blue continued in a voice that were trailing closer and closer to real astonishment. “How much?”
“Oh,” Eldo said dismissively. “That was all of it.”
“You had some stashed by? And you used it on this?” Blue said in a voice that was approaching incredulity now.
“Yes,” Eldo said pretending not to notice. “It's rather nice isn't it.” He finished as he walked through the wall.

There wasn't much time for the information to sink in, as skipping through the appartment wearing a full green Robin Hood-esque costume, complete with bow and quiver, was a girl haphazardly jumping through the room, paint brush in hand, every now and then chucking some paint at the walls. It all looked very.. not pleasing.. err.. artisitc.. yes..
“I have decided,” the girl intoned. It sounded a bit like a pronouncement coming from up high. “We're painting it all.. green.”  
Her enthusiasm was fetching though, as was the green.. as was the girl.. Blue considered. But that wasn't a problem. Well, at least not yet. Eldo only gave her an affectionate smile.
“Who is your friend?” the girl asked all the while continuing to apply insignificant amount of paint around the room.
“This is err..” Eldo started.
“Your legal advisor?” Blue suggested.
“.. err.. Blue..” Eldo finished gasping.
“No green.” The girl insisted.
“.. err..” Eldo continued.
“As you wish,” Blue couldn't help but laugh at the joke. If it had been a joke? Well, he found it funny, at least.
“And..” Blue prompted.
“.. err..” Eldo continued. “.. err.. Oh.. Yes.. This is my.. kinda sorta roommate..”
The girl gave him a look.
“.. and interior decorator..”
The girl gave him a look that said “Better.”
“.. err.. um.. Bangail.”
“Well, that's easy for you to say.” Blue finished.
To catatonic silence.

"Really, Blue. You didn't have to stay for dinner.. and to finish the rest of your coffe and brandy.. and to help finishing painting the place." Eldo said with a hint of exhasperation, still seated in the chair from which he had seen the whole thing transpire. "Anyway, didn't you have to be somewhere?"
"Did I?" Blue asked with what seemed like genuine surprise.
Lawyers, Eldo thought.

«Isn't this colour really fetching,» the girl said looking around the freshly painted very green room. All walls had been covered, except the one missing, of course.
«Oh.. err.. most definitely. Very.. err.. fetching» Blue added hastely, his eyes were on the girl though, although she didn't seem to notice much Eldo thought. Or was that a small smile..? Eldo groaned invardly.
«Time to get back to work eh, Blue?» Eldo inquiered politely, while trying not to roll his eyes.
«Oh,» Blue said suddenly looking shocked. «Is that the time?! I've missed three meetings, I should have run by the mayors office to have him sign some paperwork for Amarië. («That's officially handled by me these days, him off on one of his extended vacations.. expeditions..,» Blue added in aside.) I really must..»
He looked almost panic stricken, Eldo thought.
«All that backlogged paperwork,» he could hear Blue muttering while staring out through the wall at the distant admins' tower.
«Hey, don't go stressing our guest out deary.» Baingal hissed to him. «Can't you see he's stressed out.» She said nodding her head pointedly at Blue who had collapsed in a chair with his head in his hands. «I don't think he can have had a break in ages. Things must be crazy down at the admins' tower with the takeover and everyhting else. I was hoping we might even induce him to sleep over with time.» She said concernedly.
«Oh,» Eldo said raising his eyebrows.
«Oh, stop that you.» The girl said exasperatedly.

«There there, old bean.» Eldo said, suddenly feeling all dapper and brittish in his sudden encouraging tone. «There's always the fireplace.» He suggested a bit embarrasedly, remembering his own trials with the stack of paperwork which size had reached folkloric proportions.
«That method only works for the boss, I'm affraid.» Blue said, rather annoyingly not perking up. There was a small wane smile however. Eldo took that as a sign of encouragment.
«Come,» Eldo continued, unabaited. «I'll walk down to the admins tower with you. Haven't been since the takeover. Honestly, about time I saw how things were getting.» he said to Blue's muttered "Oh, you don.."
«Oh, well.» Blue said finally, attempting a smile. «Thanks. I'm sure Amarië won't..»
«Oh, don't worry about that.» Eldos said reassuringly. «I do still have an official position, you know.» He said leading Blue out through the hole in the wall. «A legal right to be there, you might say in legal jargon.. or.. whatever you lawyers talk...»
«English..?» Bue suggested.
«No,» Eldo said considering, as they walked past the cabbages and out the garden wall. «That's not it..»  

Blue wrote:in legal jargon.. or.. whatever you lawyers talk.»
«English..?» Bue suggested.
«No,» Eldo said considering, as they started walking. «That's not it..»