Movie Hypotheticals
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Movie Hypotheticals
by Forest Shepherd Mon Jun 09, 2014 9:26 pm
Petty posted a thread with a similar title in LotR discussion.
This is basically the same, but let's apply it to the movies (as they are more fun to imagine different than they are).
Would film-Thorin and Co. actually leave Bilbo behind in the Misty Mountains had the hobbit not fared so well with Gollum and not shown up again unlooked for?
And: How long would Azog and his ilk wait for Thorin and Co. to be released from Thranduil's halls had they not escaped?
This is basically the same, but let's apply it to the movies (as they are more fun to imagine different than they are).
Would film-Thorin and Co. actually leave Bilbo behind in the Misty Mountains had the hobbit not fared so well with Gollum and not shown up again unlooked for?
And: How long would Azog and his ilk wait for Thorin and Co. to be released from Thranduil's halls had they not escaped?
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by David H Mon Jun 09, 2014 9:47 pm
OK, I'll play.Forest Shepherd wrote:Petty posted a thread with a similar title in LotR discussion.
This is basically the same, but let's apply it to the movies (as they are more fun to imagine different than they are).
Well they'd have to leave without him eventually, wouldn't they? Because if Bilbo had fared any worse, he'd have been dinner.
Would film-Thorin and Co. actually leave Bilbo behind in the Misty Mountains had the hobbit not fared so well with Gollum and not shown up again unlooked for?
I suppose T&Co. could have charged back into all the goblin silliness, but somehow I just can't imagine that (or don't want to, more likely.
)
And: How long would Azog and his ilk wait for Thorin and Co. to be released from Thranduil's halls had they not escaped?
Until the elves had hunted them all down one by one!
I will say that I'm actually looking forward to watching Thorin kill Azog in BOFA. Better late than never, I always say!
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by Bluebottle Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:35 pm
David H wrote:I will say that I'm actually looking forward to watching Thorin kill Azog in BOFA. Better late than never, I always say!
About 142 years and nine hours of movie too late.
But I share the sentiment.
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by bungobaggins Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:40 pm
How's this for a movie hypothetical?
The entire movie is destroyed and never sees the light of day.
The entire movie is destroyed and never sees the light of day.
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by Tinuviel Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:46 pm
Hypothetical: What if that orc didn't say anything about shooting Kili with a "MORGUL SHAFT" would Tauriel have left?
And if the gold smoldering HAD worked on Smaug, what would happen?
And if the gold smoldering HAD worked on Smaug, what would happen?
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:33 am
What if that orc didn't say anything about shooting Kili with a "MORGUL SHAFT" would Tauriel have left?
I hope so, because then at least we would have been saved from the excruciating awfulness of the healing scene.
As I dont know what the attraction is supposed to be beyond presumably sexual, as theres no other basis, I dont see why she would stay, all they did was exchange a few looks and some crude flirtatious language more appropriate to school kid dating methods, aged 12 when trying to get someone to go to the school disco with you.
I hope so, because then at least we would have been saved from the excruciating awfulness of the healing scene.
As I dont know what the attraction is supposed to be beyond presumably sexual, as theres no other basis, I dont see why she would stay, all they did was exchange a few looks and some crude flirtatious language more appropriate to school kid dating methods, aged 12 when trying to get someone to go to the school disco with you.
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by David H Wed Jun 11, 2014 2:35 am
Tinuviel wrote:
And if the gold smoldering HAD worked on Smaug, what would happen?
Oh, I like it! Smaug is smothered in gold and Thorin and Co are roasted to cinders as the they float down the river of molten gold in their little barbeque-boat!
That would leave Bilbo with the ridiculous treasure and no need for a third movie! 
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by Forest Shepherd Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:13 am
Or better yet, simply combine the Battle of Five Armies (the event and the film) with DoS and have the battle occurring at the same time as the dragon-smelting scene. The story of months condensed into mere hours, perfect for Jackson's treatment!
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by halfwise Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:43 pm
I like the siracha sauce. 
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by azriel Wed Jun 11, 2014 4:43 pm
What IF peejers woke up one morning, & after having a particularly weird dream bout wizards,fairies, dark creepy woods, castles & holes ? weird shit like that, decided then & there "no Elves or midgets for me ! " (unless their heads fall off ?) & he totally sticks to Sci-Fi & all the other odd ball stuff he's popped out ! ( I did like Heavenly Creatures tho )
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by RA Wed Jun 11, 2014 5:46 pm
bungobaggins wrote:How's this for a movie hypothetical?
The entire movie is destroyed and never sees the light of day.
I agree, good sir.
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by David H Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:00 pm
Forest Shepherd wrote:
Would film-Thorin and Co. actually leave Bilbo behind in the Misty Mountains had the hobbit not fared so well with Gollum...?
If Bilbo had not fared so well and Gollum had fared better, PJ wouldn't have been freer to make the dwarf adventure he always wanted without any pesky hobbits. On the other hand, he'd have a hard time explaining that Bilbo character that appears at the beginning of LotR. It's probably the only thing that saved Bilbo...
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by bungobaggins Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:50 pm
Hidden sexual meaning? 
Walnuts = testicles?
Walnuts = testicles?
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by Tinuviel Thu Jun 12, 2014 6:26 am
That's what I was thinking Bungo. He's compensating for what's "down his trousers" and it's another reminder that the only attraction between them is sexual considering they've only just glimpsed each other
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by azriel Thu Jun 12, 2014 2:18 pm
I think it just stands for NUTS ! the whole fooking film is NUTS ! The script is NUTS, the CGI is NUTS, the characters are lifeless, mindless NUTS & Im fooking NUTS for watching it !!
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by bungobaggins Thu Jun 12, 2014 3:36 pm
Tinuviel wrote:That's what I was thinking Bungo. He's compensating for what's "down his trousers" and it's another reminder that the only attraction between them is sexual considering they've only just glimpsed each other
And the glow around Turdysmell reminds me of the glow around Kim Novak in Vertigo. And that scene was all about sex without actually showing sex.
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Re: Movie Hypotheticals
by Mrs Figg Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:00 pm
ooooh Vertigo one of my favorite films Hitchcock and Jimmy Stewart, you dont get better than that. 
Hitchcock and Jimmy Stewart, you dont get better than that.
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