Agent Nora and the Freaky Bean

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Post by chris63 Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:59 pm

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Post by RA Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:08 am

"Delete, Delete, Delete"
Laughing
Almost choked right there. lol!

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"From him they learnt many things it were not good for any but the great Valar to know, for being half-comprehended such deep hidden things slay happiness; and besides many of the sayings of Melko were cunning lies or were but partly true, and the Noldoli ceased to sing, and their viols fell silent upon the hill of Kôr, for their hearts grew somewhat older as their lore grew deeper and their desires more swollen, and the books of their wisdom were multiplied as the leaves of the forest."

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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:47 pm

"wheres Orwie? said Nora, "is he here on his throne?"
"yes, we gave him todays DailyMirkin to read and he's been in there for hours". said Tauriel. "he's in a bad mood, you were lucky I set you free, if OdoWormtongue had caught wind of you", she shuddered at the thought.
"But how do we escape?, we must meet up with our buddies and continue the Quest", said Elthir.
"well you can climb in waterlogged barrels of Buckie which will surely drown you all, or you can take your chances at the front gate, I can give you Elven clothes and plastic ears. Its all a bit Ren-Fair but its my best plan".
"I want a floaty velvet frock" said Petty.
"yeah me too, I want blue velvet with a silver insert" said Nora.
"hhmm I will go for a rose coloured gown with lilac underskirt" said Elthir dreamily.
"listen up people!" said Tauriel angrily, "theres Lederhosen or pvc. We are a rustic people not your drippy arty farty Rivendell types".
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:52 pm

OdoWormtongue

lol! Laughing Thats too perfect!

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Post by azriel Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:36 pm

lol!

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Post by Norc Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:39 pm

"listen up people!" said Tauriel angrily, "theres Lederhosen or pvc. We are a rustic people not your drippy arty farty Rivendell types".

Laughing
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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:57 pm

They waited until nightfall and all the Elves were sozzled. The Questers had spent uncomfortable hours hiding in a wardrobe listening to the rowdy and increasingly drunken Elves. It had started with a few jests and japes, had transformed into recriminations and lecherous fumblings and finished with sporadic fistycuffs and pavement pizzas. At one point the wardrobe door opened and one of the 'lady' elves had squat down and peed on Pettys foot. Petty didnt bat an eyebrow, that was pretty tame stuff to what went on in ScotsDale-on-Smaug. They caught snatches of drunken talk..
"what do your bleary Elf eyes see? *burp*
"they are taking the Hobnobs to the Prisonguard"
"whaaaat? the prisoners cant eat our Hobnobs you foolz" *burp*
"I feel tingling in my nether regions"
"thats becoz Figwit is setting fire to your pubes" *chuckle*
"I cant take much more of this" said Elthir broodingly.
"well lets not wait for Tauriel, lets bugger off now, it might not be peepee next time" said Nora.
"ok, when I say run. RUN! said Petty.
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Post by azriel Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:28 pm

Ok mrs Figg, youre "on" something ! Its so Goddam f**king funny !! just as the actress said to the Bishop...Dont stop !!! lol!

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Post by RA Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:45 pm

"...Bleary elf eyes see"
I see what you did there. Nod

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"From him they learnt many things it were not good for any but the great Valar to know, for being half-comprehended such deep hidden things slay happiness; and besides many of the sayings of Melko were cunning lies or were but partly true, and the Noldoli ceased to sing, and their viols fell silent upon the hill of Kôr, for their hearts grew somewhat older as their lore grew deeper and their desires more swollen, and the books of their wisdom were multiplied as the leaves of the forest."

Remember Merp - July 11th, 2013
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Post by Orwell Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:41 pm

Busy busy busy and fell shamefully behind, but I knew I must sit down and read all this when the time was right for me, Mrs Figg... and I literally wept with laughter at the truth of it all! In fact, I in fact died of laughter! It's true! Shocked {{{I got better}}}

{{{I swear you're my Soulmate, Julia - that's if souls are tactile - and we know they are don't we, my love. I love you }}}

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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:45 pm

Embarassed jeepers!
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Post by Norc Sat Feb 09, 2013 12:28 am

"ok, when I say run. RUN! said Petty

sherlock quote ?
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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Feb 09, 2013 12:00 pm

scratch study dunno might be?
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Post by Norc Sat Feb 09, 2013 3:46 pm

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Feb 09, 2013 7:24 pm

cool that was completely subconscious on my part. I dont even remember where i heard the phrase. just shows how little details get stored in your brain. Laughing
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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:36 pm

so where was I? oh yes,

The Questers were just about to make a mad dash for the front gate when they heard stomping feet coming rapidly their way. They all did a double take, and fled back down the stairs to the dungeons. It was gloomy and as they hid round a dark cobwebby corner Nora heard a little voice not far off.
"help help, somebody help!"
"there are people trapped!" whispered Nora, "it sounds like Azriel and Rodney!".
And indeed it was.
They crept to the door of the nearest prison and peered in.
"get us out! cried Azriel, "Orwie has us in here for a week, and my undercrackers are crusty".
"mine have strata, and tide marks" moaned Rodney, "even Rangers carry an emergency pair of tightie whities, but the Elves nicked them, they took all our stuff". he said.
"look theres a key conveniently placed on that hook", said Nora.
Nora unlocked the door The prison bars creaked open and they all stealthily crept back up the stairs to the party hall.
They ran as fast as their legs would go, they jumped over the bodies of the sleeping Elves, taking care not to kick anyones head, because no doubt Petty would have lectured them for weeks afterwards about correct jumping distance etiquette. So they jumped, nobody's head got twatted and they were saved from endless Youtube clips.
They ran into the forest and left a good distance between the Elven kings hall before they stopped to rest.
"phew its great to be outside in the Wild again" said Rodney, "although those gigantic ravening rabid Spiders surrounding us is a bit of a bore".
And it was.
The spiders were huge black and hairy, there were loads of them, they clicked their beaks and pincers in a sarcastic way, and the biggest and hairiest one scuttled forward and made a dash for Nora.
"hey Blobbyface gerrroff" she said,
The spider stood quite still and cocked its hairy head on one side. It put its hand thing to its mouth and started giggling and tittering like a Japanese schoolgirl. Then it bared its teeth.
"er is that normal spider behaviour?" said Elthir.
"nope" said Rodney, "we should by rights be liquified poo tube material by now".
"cool" said Nora.



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Post by RA Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:47 pm

Mrs Figg wrote: "nope" said Rodney, "we should by rights be liquified poo tube material by now".
*Sam voice, " By rights we shouldn't even be here!" so true Laughing

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"From him they learnt many things it were not good for any but the great Valar to know, for being half-comprehended such deep hidden things slay happiness; and besides many of the sayings of Melko were cunning lies or were but partly true, and the Noldoli ceased to sing, and their viols fell silent upon the hill of Kôr, for their hearts grew somewhat older as their lore grew deeper and their desires more swollen, and the books of their wisdom were multiplied as the leaves of the forest."

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Post by azriel Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:59 pm

Laughing I love your imagination Mrs Figg, keep picking your brain ! Laughing

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Post by halfwise Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:19 am

"look theres a key conveniently placed on that hook", said Nora.

Razz

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Post by chris63 Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:02 am

Poo tube material Laughing

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Post by Orwell Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:03 pm

Laughing

They ran as fast as their legs would go, they jumped over the bodies of the sleeping Elves, taking care not to kick anyones head, because no doubt Petty would have lectured them for weeks afterwards about correct jumping distance etiquette. So they jumped, nobody's head got twatted and they were saved from endless Youtube clips.

Mark Twain said sometyhing like: "First get your facts and then you can distort them as you please." There is just enough truth in the quoted bit above that, with it's 'just the right amount of distortion and exaggeration', it actually becomes the truth (after a fashion). cheers Sorry if this breaks the mood - but you do get one thinking about things, Mrs Figg! Very Happy {{{Thinking? Suspect Mrs Figg! Shocked Oh dear....}}}

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:15 pm

Suspect

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Post by Orwell Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:20 pm

What once was vaguely distortedly true is now Forever perfikkly true, Petty -- at least, in my mind! Nod


Last edited by Orwell on Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:39 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:22 pm

Evil or Very Mad

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Post by Mrs Figg Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:24 pm

Laughing here to help.
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