Happy Birthday Mrs Figg

Happy Birthday Mrs Figg! 132 is it?

NotP Birthday special to follow later today!

Hooray! The most gorgeous girl in Forumshire (by far) is 21 (or thereabouts) today! Hooray!

Oooh I hope you're having a lovely day, Mrs Figg. You much more cool than any of those other girls, except Pretty, of course! (And one for you, Pretty! )

Congratulations on reaching your majority. 21 was it? Wow! I hope you're having a spiffing day.

Happy Birthday! Oh Mrs Figg, I hope all your wishes come true. I'll put in a good word with you with Eru.

Youse as bonza cheekeybayb, Mizzuz Fugg! Oooh beybee! Hoppy Burpdae two u!

Oh her hair shines like finest silk,
Her eyes like trapzoids glimmering,
Her knees like finest carbuncles,
Her earrings like stars a'shimmering.

Oh how softly she treads around,
Through olive grove and vinyard,
Her lips like cushions, smooth
and soft like marshmellows, not hard.

Oh no - 'tread'? How wrong am I?
She 'glides' - not like an old train engine,
but like one of those modern smooth bullet trains
that are so comfortable and serve wine.

Her legs are clean and limbre,
And should be covered up, forsooth,
Because they're so shapely and sequinned
and waxed and soft like vermouth.

Her torso is taut, but feminine too,
Her breasts like jellies, but not too wobbly,
Her nether regions are a precious mystery,
Which I glimpsed but once by purest accident.

Her feet - oh her 'feet' - like short planks
with rubies for toes, and not smelling -
Except of crushed grapes, Tuscan water,
and tasting of -- well, she's not telling.

Her knees could launch a thousand ships
Just a graceful nudge, discreet, so long as
the ship is not too tautly anchored,
And the launchway is slippery and does not grab.

But it's her heart that I adore most,
Soft and mushy like ripest bananas,
If one was to see her sunny smile,
They'd think they were in the Bahamas.

Oh lucky lucky man he who wins her love,
A king, a lord, a man at least with a car,
But not a small car, something at least mid-sized -
He, pray tell, would be the luckiest man in the world - by far!

"Orwell's Constant Dream"

Channelled (and affirmed) by Wisey Banks.


Oh yes, and Happy Birthday beautiful lady.

Happy Birthday ^_^

Happy Birthday!! :)x

Happy birthday, mrs Figgs! Hope you have or had a wonderful day!!

I am sorry to hear that you have feet like planks, that sounds rather unpleasant. But it appears Mirabella has connections to a Fjordlandian foot oil producer, so she might be able to help. Seems they don't only make foot oil, but THE foot oil, so I am sure it must be pretty excellent.

Thank you thank you thank you. feet like short planks yay!
and not too wobbly for being 111 years young

Party Buisness
I have asked Sam if we can use the Party Tree for a little celebration later, and he says the Gaffer will let us use his bestest wicker chairs and comfy cushions too. Frodo is bringing some bestest Wineyards at least two bottles, although The Green Dragon has promised some beer and nibbles for the gentlemen. er what else, oh yes, Gandalf did hint strongly there May be fireworks, but its a mystery hush hush. So Ill meet you all at sunset, some of you I hope will bring music making instruments, no not your trumpet Odo, we will have some singing after the feasting. Oh and if i suddenly disappear I have gone off to visit the Elveses, you are quite welcome to come, but I cant promise regular lunches and I strongly advise the taking of pocket handkerchiefs.

A very happy birthday to you, Mrs Figg! Best wishes for your coming year, no matter how many have come before.

oh lots and lots have come before but thanks

Happy Birthday , and may every dream that matters come true for you and may you wear many many pairs of sparkly red shoes, I hear they are on sale for a limited time only.

Happy Birthday!

I have some seed cake cooling on the side, will pack them up for tonight!

G-day

Happy Birthday!!!

Party Hats all round.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. FIGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I do on every special occasion, I'll break out a couple dozen barrels of my Rasberry Buckie!

yum cant wait!

Oh she is so young at heart
and looks barely a hundred
let alone eleventy eleven
and her perfectly carved
plankened feet
are not clay-looking
but pink-painted in a life-like hue
seeming like the feet she had
as a child
which were worn off by walking
in the trees with Elveses
oh her face radiates a light as
the lights of Valinor
when the twin orbs
were working in perfect
counter balance
and Ungoliant and Morgoth hadn't
done their foul deed
the world was fair
when Mrs Figg was a lass
with her own feet.


"The Lay of Mrs Figg long a'fore she was wed." Book Thirty Two: "The Ballads that Tolkien Might have Composed had he not sadly Departed in '73."

Channeled by
Wisey Banks


There'll be bumble spunkers
sparklewheels
nose-thimbels playin'
prickle harps
and spriggle drums
when all the partygoes
come

There'll be horsewaggles
and pringledusters
warble-strumper horns
stickle-ouchers
boinky plums
when all the partygoers
come

It's her birthday
hooray
let the sprungle bungers
send up their spray
'cause it's her birthday
hooray
eleventy one
today


"A Birthday Prophecy." By Robert Frost, when he contemplated a Birthday Phase, even if he never actually got around to writing it down.

Wisey Banks

Pimple Bungers sending up their spray! cool. is it Buckie spray? Oooo the rooms spinning Boinky plums yum ill have those with the seed cake.

Happy birthday