Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Wow, more endings than Return of the King!

My favorite:

Figg sighed, “Well,” she said, “I'm back. Buggered if I'm staying though.”

{{{Yeah shame Tolkien used up Many Partings as a chapter heading! Thats the trouble with There and Back Again road trip style stories, you have to drop everyone back off again on the way home!

Though I can claim something similar to Tolkien in that the end has been planned for a long time- was just getting there took longer than I expected. Most definitely a tale that grew in the telling.

I have spliced all the bits together into a single open office document if anyone wants it- just pm me.  }}}

Child Lock
A silly tale ? this ? NO ! Its silly people doing silly things yet, this is not a silly tale. Its a roller coaster romp worthy to be called a "Great Farce of our times" I thought it was brilliant. I'm so glad this has given you something to do with your hands, especially thru the dark nights of winter when so often hands are doing other things. I think I like The Coal Scuttle stories best of all, Well done !

p.s, thank you for including Simi I'm sure if he could prize himself off the settee he would love the adventure

{{Thanks Azriel, and Halfy- glad you both enjoyed it and thanks for hanging in there to the bitter end! }}}

Here's what the critics have been saying-

"Its utter lies, every last page. I was so disgusted I refused to even read it."- Odo Banks

"Hey! I'm not in this one!"- Eldorion

"Nor me!"- Malick

"There's nothing wrong with my ruddy back!"- Azriel

"For the last time, I am not a secret agent"- Lance, secret agent

"Fuck off I haven't read it."- Norc

Maybe I could be sent a copy... not with the view of copying anything. I had a rather interrupted reading of this tale, coming and going as I have been; so maybe a re-reading might be called for....

{{ I am sure that can be arranged Orwell- I am currently about halfway through the editing process.
It's mainly minor corrections, some changes to structure here and there (chapters are all now of more roughly equal length for example) and there is some new material where I felt something needed a bit fleshing out- but probably the biggest change between the edited version and the one on here at the moment is that I have tried to make it more stand alone. By which I mean I have removed or changed 'Tolkien' based stuff- so no more mentions of Eru, Morgoth or hobbits.
And I have added some explanations to the uninitiated into such subjects as buckie and crabbit.
With the hope being that by the time its done even someone who had no idea about this place could read it and still follow along and enjoy it.

With any luck I will have it ready this weekend sometime and I plan to upload it to a google drive or something so I can direct link to it from here for anyone who wants it for their summer hols read.}}

So long it does not turn into another 'many promised Home' fiasco again...

{{{ Home is and has been an ongoing project, but I take it a lot more seriously than the stuff I tend to throw up here to see what sticks!
But as the Gingerlocks tale turned into an accidental first Forumshire novel I thought it was worth giving it the extra attention to tidy up and edit.}}

So, 'ongoing' means Home is 'progressing' as opposed to 'stagnating'?

{{It has gained substantially in events and characters, but sadly not enough in structure and overall narrative cohesion- finding the right structure and narrative to hold all the events and characters together is proving tricky. Its the opposite of how I normally write- I usually start out with an idea for a narrative and everything else branches off that- sometimes in completely unexpected new ways. But even if change course midstream I still have an idea of the structure I want and I still had the narrative idea to get me going.
With Home I have a series of events, incidents, tales, and nothing to hang them all on yet.}}

{{Hoping this works!}}

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2678c57O-0LLW41R1ZnekNudFU

Pettytyrant101 wrote:{{It has gained substantially in events and characters, but sadly not enough in structure and overall narrative cohesion- finding the right structure and narrative to hold all the events and characters together is proving tricky. Its the opposite of how I normally write- I usually start out with an idea for a narrative and everything else branches off that- sometimes in completely unexpected new ways. But even if change course midstream I still have an idea of the structure I want and I still had the narrative idea to get me going.
With Home I have a series of events, incidents, tales, and nothing to hang them all on yet.}}

Who needs to hold everything together, what about a series of pastiches? Linked short stories or something. Not that I would tell another writer how to write. Now, I suggest you sit down, turn off The Hobhit, The Battle of Five Armies, take up your pencil, and start sketching out an overview.... once that's done, report in, and we'll think about the next step...

Pettytyrant101 wrote:{{Hoping this works!}}

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2678c57O-0LLW41R1ZnekNudFU

It does

Ooooh.... I can confirm it.

{{Apologies but I have spotted some minor things I want to adjust so have taken down that version and will be replacing it with a new one hopefully tomorrow or maybe even later today. Just delete the one you have. Sorry! }}

That's alright. My editor is looking over it and discussing it with my publisher so I can get a version that suits my purposes.. err... I mean, a version I can keep to treasure...

{{Finally done, well for now at least! Here is the link to the finished version.
If anyone is feeling brave enough to subject a friend to it I would be curious what someone with no familiarity with this place or its ways were to make of it. }}

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2678c57O-0LUEROYml2NTFEUTQ

I wish I even had friends... 

{{Well look on the bright side Orwell you should have no problem getting to read it without a string of confounded visitors at the bell! So I shall expect your full OZhobbit style review shortly }}

Shortly!  Oh, you must mean, "Finally, getting on with 'Home' shortly".... whew... 

{{{ Just read the bloody thing! Bloody Ozhobbits - ps you might want to keep Odo away from it... }}}

I have read most of it btw. I just got a bit disjointed with it, coming and going as I have been for quite some time. Been making pots and trying to make a living out of it. Much easier and more idle time on my hands when tax payers were paying my wage. Still, I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyways, I will get back to it, just can't say when. I do like to push the pen myself a little you know, which is my hobby, and free time can be at a premium. Of course, Odo is well aware of your slurs and slanders, but until he sees you making some cash which he can sue you for, he is biding his time. You know what he's like.