The Daily Purist
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Forumshire :: Other Topics :: Off-Topic
Page 19 of 22
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Re: The Daily Purist
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
KIDNAPPED? but by whom?? was it the Ancient Egyptians?
we HAVE to get him back, Ill pay in eel oil if that helps? that Forumshire musical film festival is better than The Proms and Cannes rolled into one.
we HAVE to get him back, Ill pay in eel oil if that helps? that Forumshire musical film festival is better than The Proms and Cannes rolled into one.
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: The Daily Purist
Hey! Nothing competes with the Annual Forumshire Awards! Certainly not some trumped up Banks endeavour in the back of beyond!
According to my sources in Pure Publications Odo's long term rivals in everything from mining to jelly, the Gummy Bears are suspected to be responsible.
I supect the Dark Planet myself- Amarie has been very quiet of late on a 'supposed' holiday.
But I agree the place is not the same without the Banks clan to make fun of so I am prompting Pure Publications to run a public awareness campaign to have them returned safely home. Maybe we could swap the rest of them for Odo, that seems a good deal.
According to my sources in Pure Publications Odo's long term rivals in everything from mining to jelly, the Gummy Bears are suspected to be responsible.
I supect the Dark Planet myself- Amarie has been very quiet of late on a 'supposed' holiday.
But I agree the place is not the same without the Banks clan to make fun of so I am prompting Pure Publications to run a public awareness campaign to have them returned safely home. Maybe we could swap the rest of them for Odo, that seems a good deal.
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
Have the kidnappers sent any ransome notes? WHAT DO THEY WANT? we wont be betting bits of Banks in the post will we? you know, the yucky bits!
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: The Daily Purist
As far as a Banks is concerned Mrs Figgs all the bits are yucky!
But from what I know Odo is at Her Lady's being tended by Jane with jelly medicines, as he became very ill and stressed at the thought of having to part with any of his money.
But from what I know Odo is at Her Lady's being tended by Jane with jelly medicines, as he became very ill and stressed at the thought of having to part with any of his money.
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
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Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
Yeah I was thinking about that- Orwell doesn't wear the Banks name- is he a relative or just a friend?
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Ally- Wannabe Beard
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Re: The Daily Purist
Orwell is a friend of the family as far as I know- Odo had booked him as the opening act which is why he got kidnapped with the rest of the Banks. Not sure the kidnappers know he is not a Banks though.
Ally thats a genius suggestion- it could well be (although as Pure Publications sponsor the Annual Forumshire Awards I had suspected Bear Muirdock to be behind it to scupper Odo's ceremony- I hear he got his sponsorship from the Bugle).
But until further information comes to light its all specualtion.
Ally thats a genius suggestion- it could well be (although as Pure Publications sponsor the Annual Forumshire Awards I had suspected Bear Muirdock to be behind it to scupper Odo's ceremony- I hear he got his sponsorship from the Bugle).
But until further information comes to light its all specualtion.
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
Orwell is suspiciously silent, I dont like it when he's quiet, he's up to summat.
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: The Daily Purist
Yeah doing favours for kidnappers- probably cant talk for having his mouth full. Least it stops him singing!
_________________
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: The Daily Purist
The Bankses' of Forumshire
8 strong, maybe they are all in bed
from Mirabella to Wisey
or maybe they are dead
Mirabella, as pretty as the sky
as pretty as the moon
I wonder if she's crying her grief
by eating nutella from the spoon? (DON'T DO IT GIRL!)
Wisey of course- too clever by half
Words flew down on paper from his quill
He had his enemy's for sure (including me)
but still... (n.b. You're not getting paid if the rest is as bad as this )
Biffo, elegent and pale,
he gazes down on us all
he wanders from East to West
Like Petty after a pub crawl
Ah Odo Odo Odo, I saw him yestreen
Clutchin' birds in his arm
Probably sending out ravens
to make sure his clan suffers no harm! (n.b. Just found out that the ravens were actually from LoveFilm- leave that out he owns the paper )
Andy Murray, Andy Andy Andy
first point with an ace
doesn't read the papers
moves around the court with grace (n.b. What the...You're definitely not getting paid now. Just go home.)
So here we are
our beloved clan a'missing
Will we ever be the same?
Will they ever be the same?
-Poem I found lurking in the Archet's archives- probably written by someone who is now an unemployed fool with far too much time on her hands!
8 strong, maybe they are all in bed
from Mirabella to Wisey
or maybe they are dead
Mirabella, as pretty as the sky
as pretty as the moon
I wonder if she's crying her grief
by eating nutella from the spoon? (DON'T DO IT GIRL!)
Wisey of course- too clever by half
Words flew down on paper from his quill
He had his enemy's for sure (including me)
but still... (n.b. You're not getting paid if the rest is as bad as this )
Biffo, elegent and pale,
he gazes down on us all
he wanders from East to West
Like Petty after a pub crawl
Ah Odo Odo Odo, I saw him yestreen
Clutchin' birds in his arm
Probably sending out ravens
to make sure his clan suffers no harm! (n.b. Just found out that the ravens were actually from LoveFilm- leave that out he owns the paper )
Andy Murray, Andy Andy Andy
first point with an ace
doesn't read the papers
moves around the court with grace (n.b. What the...You're definitely not getting paid now. Just go home.)
So here we are
our beloved clan a'missing
Will we ever be the same?
Will they ever be the same?
-Poem I found lurking in the Archet's archives- probably written by someone who is now an unemployed fool with far too much time on her hands!
_________________
SHUT UP CAROLINE.
Ally- Wannabe Beard
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Re: The Daily Purist
Wisey would be proud and offended at the same time Ally! But Biffo elegant? Are you sure about that?
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
Hail the Queen of Channelin
that was cool!
that was cool!
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Age : 94
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Re: The Daily Purist
Free at last from evil folk -
and sticky at the fingers -
the Honorable Bankses -
our Respectable Right Wingers -
have at last been freed -
thanks be to Righteous Odo Banks
(he even made a profit
and for that he gives thanks!)
"When Channelin' Taps the Community Thought Pool", Princess Kate.
Wisey Banks
and sticky at the fingers -
the Honorable Bankses -
our Respectable Right Wingers -
have at last been freed -
thanks be to Righteous Odo Banks
(he even made a profit
and for that he gives thanks!)
"When Channelin' Taps the Community Thought Pool", Princess Kate.
Wisey Banks
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Wisey Banks- Chief Forumshire Channeller
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Re: The Daily Purist
Ahh. Ally makes a fine apprentice Channeler but its good to hear from the source!
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
source! source!
of course! of course!
everyone loves
the original source
eat it on apples
eat it on chips
lick it off ladies
lick lick lick
(it's been done since the beginning,
of course! of course!)
"Psalm 333 - deleted so as not to offend the offendable."
Wisey Banks
of course! of course!
everyone loves
the original source
eat it on apples
eat it on chips
lick it off ladies
lick lick lick
(it's been done since the beginning,
of course! of course!)
"Psalm 333 - deleted so as not to offend the offendable."
Wisey Banks
_________________
Dead in One Sense
Wisey Banks- Chief Forumshire Channeller
- Posts : 257
Join date : 2011-02-14
Re: The Daily Purist
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: The Daily Purist
ODO's ODE
Oh how glad I am to see
a demure smile
after all my troubles
all my trials!
but how worried i was
about my Decent Family,
Pure Porgy, Sweet Bella,
Biffo the Joyous and Ambly,
and Wisey too
with his distant stare
somewhat vacant
somewhat bare
oh how terribly i felt
at their sticky situation
what with my coffers nigh empty
and high inflation
but i saved them
at great (spiritual) expense
and even though damages
have been sent
i shall not forgive
that Sticky Race
those horrid souls
of sweetened taste
I shall drive them out
of their remaining mines -
run them profitably
and ignore their whines
for it's for the best
the Gummies get squashed
for Eru hates them
these Great Unwashed
sticky sticky
uncouth species -
with lemonade pee
and chocolate faeces
oh how deplorable
they need genociding -
after that a good hobbit
- me! -
will be presiding!
From "The Book of Numerous Gentle Thoughts of A Hobbit Family Head" Joseph Conrad (hidden somewhere sometime, or other)
Wisey Banks
Oh how glad I am to see
a demure smile
after all my troubles
all my trials!
but how worried i was
about my Decent Family,
Pure Porgy, Sweet Bella,
Biffo the Joyous and Ambly,
and Wisey too
with his distant stare
somewhat vacant
somewhat bare
oh how terribly i felt
at their sticky situation
what with my coffers nigh empty
and high inflation
but i saved them
at great (spiritual) expense
and even though damages
have been sent
i shall not forgive
that Sticky Race
those horrid souls
of sweetened taste
I shall drive them out
of their remaining mines -
run them profitably
and ignore their whines
for it's for the best
the Gummies get squashed
for Eru hates them
these Great Unwashed
sticky sticky
uncouth species -
with lemonade pee
and chocolate faeces
oh how deplorable
they need genociding -
after that a good hobbit
- me! -
will be presiding!
From "The Book of Numerous Gentle Thoughts of A Hobbit Family Head" Joseph Conrad (hidden somewhere sometime, or other)
Wisey Banks
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Wisey Banks- Chief Forumshire Channeller
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Re: The Daily Purist
I almost feel sorry for those mining Gummies. Why do I see an upsurge in sales at the Banks Demolition and Black Powder Plant in the very near future?
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46837
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Re: The Daily Purist
I do hope far 'nearer' than you suggest. Times are tough for some of us, Mr Tyrant, unless you hadn't noticed!
_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks- Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole
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Re: The Daily Purist
You dont need to tell me Odo- I've got Her Majesties Buckie Cellar so refill before she gets back. Half-rations I'm on I'll have you know!
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46837
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 53
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Re: The Daily Purist
Times are tough all round, I see! {{{ }}}
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Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks- Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole
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Ally- Wannabe Beard
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Age : 31
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