Re: Manly Thread - Boys Only

[Pettytyrant101]

So no hand job then Orwell! Is there a lot of swelling? Here you get a hell of a difference in your wood between hot and cold. You dont want to be too vigorous when its contracted incase it no longer fits when it expands.

Here to help Orwell. And its still your round.

[Orwell]

That second photo almost makes me want to invite the ladies to come back.. but, no... best leave them in the kitchen or laundry - or wherever they go for fun - while we deal with our Manly matters, what.

[Orwell]

So no hand job then Orwell! Is there a lot of swelling? Here you get a hell of a difference in your wood between hot and cold. You dont want to be too vigorous when its contracted incase it no longer fits when it expands.

Here to help Orwell. And its still your round.

I have absolutely no idea what you're getting at. Really, I don't. I'll think it over. Be a good chap, David. I think it's your shout...

[Pettytyrant101]

Ozzies cant keep their mind on the job at all.

[Orwell]

I can keep my my mind on the job orright, Cobber - it's keeping two jobs successfully on the go that's the problem. I remember - a long time ago - experiencing the rather exciting circumstance of having two... err.. fish on the line... and it ended badly... At least, for one of the fish. My Missus said it was the fish I caught that knows the greater tragedy. Rather strange thing to say really. Stating the obvious like that... I mean, the fish that got away in the end was surely the happier fish... ... ... Hey! I just realized something... {{{Bitch! }}}

[Pettytyrant101]

I was once told the trick there Orwell was to pretend that whichever one you werent with was imaginary in your head. Then you can lie about it with compete truth.
And you simply reverse the mind tick when you are with the other one.
Its guilt that gets you, not at doing it obviously, just guilt that you think one of them knows, or both. You feel guilty around them.
But you dont feel guilt over an imaginary fanatsy, thats silly.
So I was told. Worked for the person I was talking to anyway.

I tried it one but sadly it turned out that both the imaginary versions hated me.

[Orwell]

My trouble is that I quickly discovered that I actually have a conscience. Bloody inconvenient. Won't being having one of those again.

[Pettytyrant101]

You know Orwell thats the thing with buckie- its the best thing for dealing with discoverng you have a conscience, clear it right up for you...until you get to the bottom of the barrel, and then there it is, waiting for you, twice as big and twice and loud. S'not fair.

[Orwell]

Unless -- you quickly find another barrel?

[Pettytyrant101]

Well yes of course, hence my current, and continually state of alcoholism.

Talking of which Im off for another slash- going to see if I can blast all the shitty bits of a toilet bowl this time.

[halfwise]

Looking good, have the pesky women folk left yet? If I proposed something sensible like "Let's see if we can change that lightbulb that's been out for two weeks using nothing but used beer mugs instead of a ladder" would they jump up, hoot "that's a great idea!" and start downing more beer to help out; or would they look positively mystified then go off in a corner to twitter about it while real men set themselves to the task at hand?

If you're not crating around enough testosterone to recognize a brilliant idea when you see one then skedaddle!

[Orwell]

Well yes of course, hence my current, and continually state of alcoholism.

Wisdom personified. I'll do it!

Talking of which Im off for another slash- going to see if I can blast all the shitty bits of a toilet bowl this time.

Now we're getting somewhere, Petty. Proper Manly conversation.

{{{Did you notice David has slunk off? Probably off chasing the ladies. You know, doing a bit of ass-lickin'. No, I mean it. He's just the type in my opinion. Bit too fond of the other sex, if you now what I mean, and I know you do. }}}

[Orwell]

Looking good, have the pesky women folk left yet? If I proposed something sensible like "Let's see if we can change that lightbulb that's been out for two weeks using nothing but used beer mugs instead of a ladder" would they jump up, hoot "that's a great idea!" and start downing more beer to help out; or would they look positively mystified then go off in a corner to twitter about it while real men set themselves to the task at hand?

If you're not crating around enough testosterone to recognize a brilliant idea when you see one then skedaddle!

Good points all, Halfy. They wouldn't even know it takes three Men to change a light bulb either, especially when using the complicated ladder you're proposing. But they're women, remember.

[Pettytyrant101]

{{{Well have you seen Dave's vegtables? Dont tell me thats not to impress the ladies. And I heard he had invested in Mrs Figgs shop- carrot eels, one can only imagine! }}}

Oh you got a bar cloth Odo? Bit of splash back trying to get a tricky chunky bit that was stuck under the lip of the bowl.

Hi Halfy, just in time, its your round.

[halfwise]

Does alcohol float to the top or the bottom of the barrel? I think the top, which means we want the barrel to get near empty so the spout at the bottom is pulling off the top, if you follow me.

Anyway, thunk the barrels and I'll buy a round off the one what's sounding the most hollow.

[odo banks]

Excellent idea this, chaps. I'll knock the stuff off alright -- but first, some ammunition.. That'd be three tankards of buckie, Mister Ostler - and if David comes back - yes, that Lady-liking chap with the ridiculous beard, him, yep - give him some dessert wine, or whatever the less Manly Men have nowadays --- but psst - put in a bit of rum on the sly will you... we'll make a Man of him yet.

[Orwell]

Does alcohol float to the top or the bottom of the barrel? I think the top, which means we want the barrel to get near empty so the spout at the bottom is pulling off the top, if you follow me.

Anyway, thunk the barrels and I'll buy a round off the one what's sounding the most hollow.

[Pettytyrant101]

That'll be the one next to me then Halfy

Odo! Its like he goodold days!! I hope Wisey pops by for a good old sing song at some point.

[Pettytyrant101]

Hey Ive found us a new sign for the front door.

[odo banks]

That'll be the one next to me then Halfy

Odo! Its like he goodold days!! I hope Wisey pops by for a good old sing song at some point.

So long as Primmy and Bella don't find out, Petty. I'm going through a Mid life crisis - and I don't care. So long as they don't find out, of course. Cheers! Whoops! I'm alreay spilling more than I'm drinking, chaps... Bravo! Just like Old Times... Happiness...

[odo banks]

Hey Ive found us a new sign for the front door.

Bravo!

[Eldorion]

[Pettytyrant101]

Yes, but you know Odo I think all the same it could be ruder.

Oh if I buy one more bag of peanuts we will be able to see a left buttock.

Nice Eldo. Thats the spirit. Ooh do we get medals and titles! Lord High Ruler of the Manly Thread that ssort of thing, with a ceremonial hat?

[RA]

I approve of this thread
(((and that's what counts )))

[Pettytyrant101]

If anyone wants a challenge see if you can beat 2.2 metres, I put a mark on the bog wall, well theres a mark now.

Ignore the bottom one, the browny splodge at 1.1m, I was comparing aerodynamics in musclar contraction propelled fluid motion by trying it bent over, and it dint work out. So watch where you stand in there.

Have we fixed Orwells door yet?