H G Wells War of the Worlds- an adaptation

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Biffo Banks
Orwell
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:35 pm

I don't think killing Wilfrid and Anna was necessary. The two scenes where they happen have enough excitement and fear factor to not worry about doing that. To me, it seems a bit.. err.... contrived, and with no real gain in the pathos - indeed, I think for me it weakens what you and Wells came up with otherwise. Just me maybe. (Jonathan stumbling over Gertrude and Anna earlier is a really good idea, I reckon, as we already have empathy for them because we already have met them and I reckon you are always more worried about people you know than soon met strangers).- Orwell

{{I have two reasons for doing that. The first is that when George first witnesses the Martians feeding it seemed more hard hitting if it was someone George and the audience already knows rather than random person- which fits with what you say about it being better if its people we know than strangers).
The second reason was to highlight that underneath all the looking after husband and Victorian ideals of being a wife, Gertude is actually rather strong minded and capable of dealing with the situation and getting on with it, Anna is supposed to be the contrast to that to highlight it, she falls apart at the very idea of continuing on without the man in her life there.
So it was never so much pathos I was thinking of, I dont think Ana is ever likeable enough for the viewer to feel that for her.
Although instead of killing her off I could have Gertrude save her from the falling gangplank rather than Jonathon saving Gertude- bit of active girl power which otherwise is absent- but too unlike the average woman of the times? Too modern perhaps a notion?

You might be right about the tentacle scene, maybe I should put it back in there- it was mainly pacing issues it got left out, I was concerned that episode was over long and spent too much time in one location, and although its a tense scene in the book I didn't really feel it added anything narratively or led anywhere really, it come sin, probes about a bit, doesn't find anything and leaves again, with no follow up.
However I do like the idea of pulling a double bluff and having it leave the access for the dog, first tense scare its the martians, second its the dog. That at least solves the problem of that scene not leading anywhere otherwise.

The main reason for bringing the dog back however was to avoid either internal thoughts voiced as narration or the main character talking to themselves. Its seems more natural to voice your thoughts to a pet.

(Also visually I had a shot in my head of a pan up form behind George with dog at side revealing the massive Martian pit in London at the end- somehow the image seemed more complete with the dog at his side than without for some reason)

Glad you overall enjoyed it however, and even more pleased you feel I kept to Wells spirit and feel and ethos throughout, despite the changes to the great mans words.

And seriously thank you for readng Orwell, I really do appreciate when folks take the time (never hard to find I know) to not just read but give it some thought and comment on it. That's goes for everyone here who reads my scribblings. Thank you, to quote the Doctor 'I'm nothing without an audience.' }}}

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Post by Orwell Wed Aug 03, 2016 1:13 pm

Gertrude saving Anna would be excellent! So long as you don't portray it like she's Wonder Woman. Women did brave things back 1898, I'm sure. It would not be anachronistic!!! Women have done a lot of things that men have not always recorded or given them credit for. I really like the idea of Gertrude saving Anna, can you tell? Also, Wells was early supporter of women's rights as you know, so he might even approve. Back then, a woman wouldn't need to be a libber to do something courageous and heroic...

Killing Wilfrid? That did not bother me as much as killing both Wilfrid and Anna. In fact, the Anna scene was the one that bothered me on reflection. The Thunder Child was the main game for that scene for me, the Anna thing is a distraction which I thought unnecessary. The Wilfrid scene has definitely more gut wrenching crunch. Maybe that's why I wasn't sure about it at first. (Edit: Actually, killing both the child and Wilfrid? Is that repetitive? Perhaps you could drop the child kill then. You'll still have the baby to kill).

Regards the idea of the Martians being able to be killed, even if it's bows and arrows, remains a strong point of the novel. You're right as far as I'm concerned to keep it, and I agree with your comments regarding this much earlier on this thread.

I can't recall, btw, why I didn't get around to critiquing your Adaptation the first  time I read the book. Strange! Maybe something happened in my life back then to distract me. I was working on the road back then. Maybe I had a few days of big stuff happening back then??? Who knows? Just seems strange I'd go to the trouble of buying and reading the book with the purpose of critiquing your Adaptation, then not do it. Weird...

Anyway, it's now off to the Time Traveller. Look forward to reading your Adaptation as soon as I'm finished. Good luck!

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Aug 03, 2016 2:36 pm

{{{I feel a bit of rewriting is indeed needed, Gertude saves Anna as the culmination of her journey from traditional housewife to capable stand on her own two feet woman!}}}

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Post by Orwell Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:42 am

Ol' Anon tells me he'd be happy to spruce up your version --- err... sorry, laddie: 'spoof' it up! Very Happy

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Post by Orwell Sat Jul 10, 2021 1:35 pm

Did you you ever do anything more with this, Petty?

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jul 10, 2021 4:15 pm

{{ well I did make the change I mentioned above- Gertrude saving Anna, but still wasnt sure about it, as the entire Thunder Child sequence has drama, excitment and action, but lacks any characters in it we know about dying- its the death of strangers. Which sadly in humans is never as hard hitting (if it were theyd probably be a lot more empathy and less horribleness in the world).

As to do anything with it, no, its on my hard drive with a pile of other stuff in various states from outlines to completed. I was discouraged by the fact everytime for a while there I tried writing an adaptation of something it was shortly after announced it was being made already.
However as it turned out the BBC adaptation of Wow's was one of them most woeful things I have ever seen I suppose there is still some hope for a version that at least pays more than lip service to the original work. }}

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Post by Orwell Sun Jul 11, 2021 10:08 am

Pettytyrant101 wrote:{{ well I did make the change I mentioned above- Gertrude saving Anna, but still wasnt sure about it, as the entire Thunder Child sequence has drama, excitment and action, but lacks any characters in it we know about dying- its the death of strangers. Which sadly in humans is never as hard hitting (if it were theyd probably be a lot more empathy and less horribleness in the world).

As to do anything with it, no, its on my hard drive with a pile of other stuff in various states from outlines to completed. I was discouraged by the fact everytime for a while there I tried writing an adaptation of something it was shortly after announced it was being made already.
However as it turned out the BBC adaptation of Wow's was one of them most woeful things I have ever seen I suppose there is still some hope for a version that at least pays more than lip service to the original work. }}

I seem ta have quite a few works I have done nought with. I think I know where you’re at. One day, Petty, one day some miracle will happen and we’ll be famous. Maybe...☹

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