DEBATE YOUR CANDIDATES

Welcome all to the next phase of the Forumshire Mayoral Elections! First of all, I'd like to let everyone know that there has been a slight change of plans. While further qualified candidates may still be nominated until election day, that day has been moved forward. Polls will open on Friday, December 16 and run for about two or three days, or longer if needed. Voting will be by PM and further details will be provided on election day.

Of course, it wouldn't be an election without campaigning and base politicking, and what better platform for such things than a live, public debate? Let's recap the nominated candidates from that thread so far:

• Orwell WITHDRAWN
  
• Biffo Banks (endorsed by Ringdrotten, and now also Orwell and the Bankses)
  
• Pretty Tyrant (endorsed by Admin Eldo, State News, and Pure Publications)
  
• Odo Banks WITHDRAWN
  
• Ringdrotten (endorsed by Her Maj, Queen Tinuviel )
  
• Kafria (now supported by Lorient and Petty)

Now, each of these candidates (and anyone else who gets nominated) has an opportunity to make an opening statement. After these (or sooner, knowing the passionate nature of the Forumshire body politic) all interested citizens and/or officials can ask one question of the candidates per 24 hours, which the candidates must answer or face the wrath of the press.

So, candidates, prepare yourselves. Voters, have at them!

If you vote for El Generalissimo Odo Banksio, your football will be fragrant and full of ladeez with hairy armpits.

Dear hobbits!

It is clear to me that I am, no doubt about it, your best choice.

Thank you all for listening!

Ringdrotten.

Here is a question for all candidates: how will you deal with the allegations of sexual misconduct amongst Forumshire's most privileged (I'm referring to Odo here) and would you replace the current Sheriff if her misguided family loyalty prevented her from carrying out a proper investigation?

The scandal engulfing the election has but one cause, and that cause lies between the legs of Odo Banks.
I have therefore called for public castrations where necessary. And in the case of my opponent Odo Banks, it is clearly necessary, and possibly also for Orwell. Justice must be done and be seen to be done, preferably with some bunintg, a few stalls and souvenier 'Two less!' T-shirts.


Mirabella Banks is a competent Sherriff whose association with the rest of the Banks Clan has long proved to be a thorn in her side. I feel she has conducted herself with dignity over the years in trying cirumstances. But she should not be brought down from a difficult Office by the unsavoury goings on of her family. And she has proved in the past under such circumstances that she will always favour the law above her family ties- as evidence by the time she put her Uncle in the Lockholes.
No, people of Forumshire, we must not allow Mirabella to be used as a scapegoat for the misdeeds of males.

{{{See you in the snug of the PP for drinks later Mirie dear }}}}}}

Bunty and I have no time for these politicowallahs, shove the lot of em in jail I say, demmed coves. bloody useless scoundrels, what! demmed socialists. when I was in indja with Bunty went huntin elephants all day, thats what! haw haw!

I'm not sure why I feel so exhausted just now - maybe this campaign is geting out of control.

Orwell
Know Where You Stand

Vote for Ringdrotten!!!!!!!! He's most respectable (and doesn't have any scandals to mark his record!) AND I'd say he's pretty responsible. He still manages to keep up with ALL of us even though he's away most of the time. He's got military training, so he understands discipline and perserverance, and he'll keep forumshire well defended! And THNK! When was the last time you mistrusted Ringo? Has he ever done anything deceitful??

Chose Ringdrotten, because the Queen Her Majesty TELLS YOU TO!!!!!!!!

Military training! What kind of regime are you planning, Your Majesty?

(Btw has he been under gunfire? Aha! I have! Know Where You Stand).

You have to know when to point your weapon and when not to. Something males have never been very good at.
No people of Forumshire, friends, lovers, ex-lovers, yet to be lovers, what you want is a girl who can both handle a weapon and be diplomatic.
Violence with finesse has always been my motto. Doing whatever it takes to get results that matter to the people.
Let's not forget whose charms and skills it was sweet talked Taz into returning us our beloved and lost Old Forum. And what unusual and unnatural things I had to perform for the Overlord of that Dark Place, yet I endured them for you, the folks of Forumshire. Bending over backwards, among other positions, for the greater good.
Vote not for promises, politicians like Orwell and Odo can do that,its always buckie tomorrow pain today with their sort. But you can judge me on my performance. And I can assure you when you've seen me perform you'll never want to go elsewhere again. I get results.
Don't be fooled by Orwell's or Ringdrotten's macho talk, I bet they are both firing blanks anyway.

Sex may be alright out in the street. But it has no place in the Mayoral Offices. Not during Office Hours anyhow! I'll be firm on that. It distracts one from important business!

Orwell
Know Where You Stand

Bah! politicians birch the lot of em! shifty blighters never liked em. Met one once, asked him what he thought about rights of way, demmed day trippers in mi fields treatin the place like they owned it, set Travers on em, politician chappie not too happy, set Travers on im, blighter never came round for tea again bah! wheres mi wife? demmed inconvenient.

To answer your first question, Eldo: If I am elected, I will see to it that Mr. Odo will get a fair trial [[[[[[[{{{{{{{((((((((( followed by 30 to life, at the very least!))))))))}}}}}}}}}}]]]]]]]]].

"and would you replace the current Sheriff if her misguided family loyalty prevented her from carrying out a proper investigation"

If there is any truth to these accusations, justice will be done. She will, of course, as her Uncle Odo be treated with respect and fairness throughout the entire investigation.

bunty figg fartington wrote:Bah! politicians birch the lot of em! shifty blighters never liked em. Met one once, asked him what he thought about rights of way, demmed day trippers in mi fields treatin the place like they owned it, set Travers on em, politician chappie not too happy, set Travers on im, blighter never came round for tea again bah! wheres mi wife? demmed inconvenient.

I couldn't agree more, Lord Fartington... I myself was press ganged into running for Mayor - for the public good - but the whole sorry business has not got any less sorrier - - so I've decided to withdraw from the contest --- and this has nothing to do with a pack of unfounded allegations thrown at me... unfounded.... Henceforth I shall steer clear of politics - it's truly beneath me!

Odo R Banks, esquire
Don't Vote for Me: I've Withdrawn

{{{Oh Lord Fartington, might I just say, how admirable you are. A no nonsense sort of chap. Just the kind of chap we need here in Forumshire ).

Wise move, Mr Banks, wise move... I shall shelve the other "rumours I've been gathering.

Now Mr Ringdrotten --- hmm... Don't forget to tell everyone about those recent goings on in Skattykatzenfjord... And why aren't you using your real name in this campaign, Mr Ringo Herring of Skattykatzenfjord!

Orwell
Know Where You Stand

A candidate withdrawing from the election? Unheard of! Of course, before now, elections themselves were unheard of in Forumshire, soooo...

Also, should Kafria be able to stand for election if she doesn't post/recognize her nomination before the polls open?

Of course not! What an outrage to even suggest it!

demmed queer if you ask me, never run until you see the whites of thar eyes, thats what we said in Indja, demmed elephant poo everywhere, chaps heads too big, dont hold with brainy coves, whatdya need brains for, eh? all you need is a good bottom for ridin, and a good piece of kit for the ladies, plenty of fresh air and cold showers haw haw!

Orwell wrote:Of course not! What an outrage to even suggest it!

I agree. But then in that case we will need Biffo Banks to post here as well in order to finalize his place on the ballot.

Orwell wrote:
Now Mr Ringdrotten --- hmm... Don't forget to tell everyone about those recent goings on in Skattykatzenfjord... And why aren't you using your real name in this campaign, Mr Ringo Herring of Skattykatzenfjord!

I do not wish to comment upon the lies of the Archet Bugle

Oh no does this mean my services as intern wont be needed?

{{{Hmm... encrytion spell activated? yep... good.... ---- Mrs Figg, at Banks Enterprises, we are always looking for keen, energetic, young ladies to assist in my back offices, and I have branches all over Forumshire. The thatching and coal business is booming at the moment care of heavy orders coming into my Thatching and Scuttle Coal Company. My Felt Hat Pty Ltd is doing well; Odo's Funtime Firecracker Company has always done well. The Banks Family Private Hospice and Funeral Home, is positively flying, what with the recent spate of firecracker related accidents. And Banks Beverage-similar-to-Buckie Company, while only newly created, is beginning to thrive too. So, what I mean is, there is plenty of scope for new internships. I, of course, have other businesses too, if there are no positions available in the aforementioned enterprises: I would not like you to think me a Poor hobbit, Mrs Figg. I'm sure I could find useful employment for you. My head office is on the corner of Main Street and Redlite Lane, under the sign of "Sanders". Pop in and talk to my Secretary, Mary Inzacott, during office hours}}}.

I know that Mary Inzacott woman nasty thin bottom, as was Mary Eyesapoppin, when she was married to that absolute bounder Darren, he tried to riot in the village once you know, said he was oppressed and didnt have a job, so Travers dunked his 50 inch plasma tv in the duckpond, put him in the stocks and pelted im with pig poo, ruddy oppressed then by jove what haw haw!

Ignore my uncle Mr Odo, theres bad blood in the village after that pig poo incident, the social services came round to the Hall to demand an inquiry as to why a (socially vulnerable job seeker) to quote them was manhandled and coated in pig offerings, Darren Eyesapoppin was known to have panic attacks when asked to get up at 8.00 in the morning and had a doctors note to say he had to rise at 13.00 only if there was his favorite football team on the forementioned plasma tv, so my uncle had to promise to allow the local wimmins group to use the Upper Barn for the bi monthly navel gazing and weirdly knitted hat festival, the wimmins leader Jacintha Everhard was not too happy when the naughty Travers gave them all lemonade with his Lordships viagra sprinkled in, naked and leery wimmin were found wandering in four counties, looking for strip clubs and beer lots and lots of beer.

{{{I'm flabbergasted, Mrs Figg, though I'm not sure what flabbergasts me more, your revelations about Mary, who I never knew was ever married, or Lord Fartingdon's apparent ability to read my private encrypted message addressed to you? I'm sure I put in the correct number of {}'s to ensure the encryption spell was effective. But, aha! Perhaps you've been in contact with your Uncle? Of course! That would be it. Do you confer with him on all your personal matters? He does seem a very wise hobbit, I'll give him that}}}