Just silliness

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Having more or less successfully passed my teenage years half a life time ago I can't say the thought of them lasting eternally is very appealing- but an eternal twenties- now your talking.

Now, that's just being silly, Petty.

I am never silly! But I am frivolous.

More e-mails I dug up. Humor may be involved.

From: lordofthebreathofarda@arda.ard
To: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
Subject: Reinforcements

Melkor very annoying. Wants to rule the world. Have tried to explain that world does not belong to him. Still wants to rule world.

Am requesting reinforcements.

Manwë

P.S. Please do not send Tulkas. Laughs too much; gets on nerves.


From: everyoung@arda.ard
To: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
Subject: Reinforcements

Manwë's going to e-mail about reinforcements. Please send Tulkas. Has lovely laugh. Pretty please?

Vána


From: lordofthebreathofarda@arda.ard
To: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
Subject: Tulkas

I know Vána sent request for Tulkas. Do NOT send Tulkas. Has idiotic laugh.

Manwë


From: everyoung@arda.ard
To: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
Re: Tulkas

Manwë said he does not want Tulkas. I want Tulkas. Will send cookies if you send Tulkas.

Vána


From: lordofthebreathofarda@arda.ard
To: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
Subject: Do NOT Send Tulkas!

Tulkas is almost worse than Melkor. Will have eternal headache if Tulkas sent.

Manwë


From: everyoung@arda.ard
To: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
Subject: PLEASE SEND TULKAS!

Am in love with Tulkas. Will come back or die if Tulkas not sent.

Vána


From: eruiluvatar@iluvatar.ei
To: lordofthebreathofarda@arda.ard
Cc: everyoung@arda.ard
Subject: Re: Reinforcements

Am sending Tulkas. Am also sending lifetime supply of aspirin with free refills for Manwë.

Eru

P.S. Can I have the cookies now, Vána?

Eru in the heavens....munching cookies. loving it.

And found the sequel! Of course it may also be funny, depending on what sort of sense of humor you have.

From: lordofthebreathofarda@almaren.ard
To: complaintdepartment@eruiluvatar.ei
Subject: Fwd: Message Error

Tried to e-mail you at eruiluvatar@eruiluvatar.ei. Am sending copy of message I got in return.

Am not happy.

Manwë

--- Original Message ---

From: eruiluvatar@eruiluvatar.ei
To: lordofthebreathofarda@almaren.ard
Subject: Message Error

You have been flagged as a spammer by <eruiluvatar@eruiluvatar.ei>. We suggest that you send an error report to:

complaintdepartment@eruiluvatar.ei


From: complaintdepartment@eruiluvatar.ei
To: lordofthebreathofarda@almaren.ard
Subject: Re: Fwd: Message Error

Welcome to the complaint department of Eru Iluvatar!

We do not guarantee answers to your questions.

No one checks this e-mail regularly.

All forwards, flame mail, hate mail, or almost any type of mail will be deleted from this inbox on a monthly basis. These will receive an automated response. Like the one you’re getting now.

But if you keep on e-mailing us, we might actually read your e-mails after a few millennia.

Have a nice day!
The Complaint Department of Eru Iluvatar


From: lordofthebreathofarda@almaren.ard
To: complaintdepartment@eruiluvatar.ei
Subject: Mwahahahaha

I’ll see if anyone’s reading these e-mails…

Dear Eru,

Am going to put tranquilizer in Tulkas’s wine after his wedding. Annoying laugh gets on nerves. Am going to silence him…

Manwë


From: lordofthebreathofarda@almaren.ard
To: complaintdepartment@eruiluvatar.ei
Subject: I know you aren’t reading these, but…

Melkor attacking. Need help. Tulkas did not wake up in time due to tranquilizer.

Need to go now. Melkor breaking lamps.

Manwë