The Desolation of TV News

(sorry, petty)- Ringdrotten

{{And so you bloody well should be!! }}}

Bloody well shouldn't be neither!

Oh, dear God.. you just know that if Amazon were interested in making something slightly interesting, the last person they would look at after the Hobbit was Jackson. It cannot be understated, the disaster the Hobbit was quality-wise, and the disaster it should have been for his reputation.

To quote a commentator from long-lost Bree:

"Incoming Petty in 3.....2.....1...."

Ringdrotten wrote:. Though I must say, I rewatched RotK the other day. Still an absolutely fantastic movie in my view (sorry, petty), and still one of my favourite go-to movies (that goes for the whole trilogy) when things are shit. How he could have botched The Hobbit so thoroughly is still a mystery to me.

Not a mystery; he was rushed into it. He and Fran had years to think about LotR, went through and discarded a lot of shit ideas. There was no time for this filtering process with The Hobbit.

That list was, to borrow a phrase from Bakshi's dubbed-over Gollum: terruhbllle.

"Incoming Petty in 3.....2.....1...."- Halfy

{{I've only made it as far as no7 on their list so far before my first full explosion of crabbit rage made me stop for buckie!   }}

Yeah, well, I got to number 5 & then I said feck you.

https://twitter.com/theoneringnet/status/996822027343310848

[BREAKING]We have confirmed from multiple sources that @AmazonStudios new billion-dollar #LOTR series will open its first season centered on a young Aragorn.

Firstly, we must stamp out any remaining confusion:

From the first press release, we know this so-called #LOTR series will NOT be a retelling of the events of the War of the Ring. #BeenThereDoneThat

Instead it will be Appendices based and cover a lot of time and history.

Full Twitter thread includes speculation on what might be covered.

Sort of as expected, and not a bad move. We get to see Gondor, Rohan, Harad, the northern kingdom, an exploration of Ranger culture. Unfortunately the only 'big event' that happens during this time is the destruction of Dol Guldur, but he'd be a young lad then anyway.

I'd have preferred an earlier period of Gondor or Arnor, but using Aragorn is a safe link for non-geeks.

Yeah, this definitely isn't going to have anything to do with Dol Guldur.

The biggest action set piece they could adapt from the Appendices would be Aragorn's raid on the Haven of the Corsairs, which I would honestly like to see, but I'm sure they'll come up with plenty else besides.

Appendix A wrote:Thorongil often counselled Ecthelion that the strength of the rebels in Umbar was a great peril to Gondor, and a threat to the fiefs of the south that would prove deadly, if Sauron moved to open war. At last he got leave of the Steward and gathered a small fleet, and he came to Umbar unlooked for by night, and there burned a great part of the ships of the Corsairs. He himself overthrew the Captain of the Haven in battle upon the quays, and then he withdrew his fleet with small loss. But when they came back to Pelargir, to men’s grief and wonder, he would not return to Minas Tirith, where great honour awaited him.

Big question: will they ignore the flim's premise that Aragorn didn't want to be king? I think they'd have to, for Elrond's restriction that Arwen would marry no less than the King of Gondor United is what drove all his adventures.

Depends on how much they want to rewrite. Should they choose to follow the films' characterization instead they could pick a different motivation for Aragorn's decision to fight against Sauron (not like there's a shortage of plausible reasons).

I wouldn't call it a rewrite so much as an unwrite. The movie was a rewrite.

{{There a lot they will have to ignore from the films and PJ I hope! Like all of it- otherwise Aragorn will meet a dick insane young Denethor with no redeeming qualities, the hobbit screws up all the time line for what is happening in Minas Tirith/Mordor anyway so none of that would line up- and if Aragorn goes to Minas Tirith I want it to look Mediterranean, and I want farms, I want the bloody Pelannor Fields to have some fucking fields in it!!!! I want none of PJ's mistakes repeated for the sake of being consistent with PJ's mistakes! 

Besides the whole thing is fan faction anyway- Tolkien ever vaguely outlined Aragorns younger years, vague in the sense of turning it all into plots, sub plots, characters around him, dialogue- you know all the stuff you actually need. So will they modernise the dialogue- do what PJ did and modernise it (inan ugly fashion) then without explanation suddenly drop full Tolkien quotes in there jarring with everything else?
PJ and co couldn't write in Tolkien's style for shit - "I might have anything down my trousers" - I need say no more! I have little hope this new production, having to make up almost every word, will fair better. Especially when dealing with an author who choose subtle differences in language style to use for different people and races in order to give the impression of separation of languages, similarities of language and even as indications of status and class- you cant just write like Tolkien- its not a matter of imitating style, its a matter of knowledge of language and intuitive use of it that comes from a life time of study and interest.

They should do LoTR's as a tv show on the basis it hasn't been done before- hell the first few episodes alone could contain more material that was not in the films than anyone saw- all the Crickhollow and move stuff, Farmer Maggot, Pippin not being happy at missing the best  beer in the farthing at the Golden Perch, Fatty Bolger, the Old Forest, Bombadil and the Barrow Wights- all new if the viewer only knows PJ's truncated rubbish.

What people really want is not made up fan rubbish- they want more LotR's- people always want more of what they already like- and lucky for them there is actually lots more LotR's PJ never showed them or understood. So just make LotR's you bloody numpties - just do it right and most of it will be new to people- including the overall message which Pj fucked up!  I shouldn't drink whisky, really lets the crabbit out! On the otherhand, so golden, so pure..... }}}

So true....

Difficult to read Petty, but I agree with most of your rant.

ust do it right and most of it will be new to people- including the overall message which Pj fucked up!

So what do you think is the overall message, Petty?

{{The same one Tolkien gave when asked- mortality, its a story about death, about passing, about endings }}}

"The artist is dead."

I think it's ultimately about sentient foxes.

Petty - that's not a message, it's a theme.

Forest - that fox and Bombadil were in cahoots, that's for sure.

that's not a message, it's a theme.- Halfy


{{Doesn't matter what you call if it if you completely fuck it up like PJ did!    The important take away here is that he fucked it up not 'what's the best word to describe what he fucked up'!    }}}

I have a more sinister theory involving a malevolence at work behind the scenes, so to speak, Halfy. Perhaps this "fox" does more than just spy on sleeping halflings. It is called the Red Book, after all. From whose perspective are we really seeing things?

And anyway, there are foxes with coats of more colours than just red and white...

I knew there was something fishy about that fox!

I think a Twin Peaks style miniseries could be built around the sinister backstory of the fox and his relations.