Art of Survivaling

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Post by Orwell Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:40 am

My Missus isn't as.. err... evolved as I am.... Well, she's definitely differently evoluted to me... and if she says to come out and luncheon, I luncheon... It's a survival of the species thing... {{{The male species, that is. Survivalilimists must go to extroadinary lengths at times just to survive (until dinner). I somehow doubt you two can ever understand the extremities of my lifestyle!}}} I, of course, am a shirt-bursting Survivaliminist through and through... Evidence of that is how I coped with the Gaytastrophe I mentioned earlier...



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Post by Orwell Fri Jul 11, 2014 5:04 am

Amarië wrote:I'm in Vienna, drinking some wine, having internet at last.

And you people have the temerity to doubt my Survivalism credentials... Clearly Amarie would not last one minute with a chickfeed spill to deal with --- let alone the escape of a devilishly cunning Colditz type chichen. Nod

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Post by halfwise Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:48 am

So rather than hunt down and fricasee the escapologist you let all the chocks go in hopes they will recognize your benevolent dictatorship and bring the opposition back into the fold? Such steely eyed self confidence nearly makes up for the "luncheon" debacle.

did they come back? Or did the opposition leader gain recruits?

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Post by Orwell Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:44 pm

In a truly brilliant manoeuvre (and don't ask me to spell manoeuvre!) I took a two part strategy - I enticed the older chooks in with food - and chased two up and caught them - and the third kinda saw the writing on the wall (I guess) and ran back in with some coaxing -- which makes it a three part cunning plan now as I'm counting things up on my fingers! Survialism is as much about out-smarting chooks as it is about coming up with fancy new Organic Terminology (like Ecochickenkeepingwithoutcruelty), methinks!

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:47 pm

um, why didnt you just pick them up and put them back in- chickens are easy to carry, press their wings close to their body and tuck them under your arm, they go totally docile.  Nod 

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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:19 pm

thats no way to treat lady Scotshobbits  No 
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:13 pm

I've never met a docile scothobbit lass, I dont think you get them in a docile variety- flame eyed and terrifying on the other hand....  pale


Terrifying when young-



no less so when old-



Nope, I dont think we do docile wimmenfolk here-


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Post by David H Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:03 pm

Orwell wrote: I'm also a trial and error sort. My cranberries - for example - have spent time in my Aquaponics grow bed, and then in a bathtub with soil (which is now a pond) and now are back in pots while I contemplate what next to do.   Very Happy 


I may not be able to watch the videos till I get to a faster connection, maybe a day or two, but I'm anxious to hear more about how the expatriate cranberries are faring! Nod {{{ pale }}}

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:17 pm

I hope he doesn't throw the cranberries out the countries altogether- this is OZ- they will never be allowed back in!  Mad 

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Post by Orwell Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:48 am

Pettytyrant101 wrote:um, why didnt you just pick them up and put them back in- chickens are easy to carry, press their wings close to their body and tuck them under your arm, they go totally docile.  Nod 

It did occur that my plan involved catching two chicks in the end - and some ancillary work in herding and coaxing - but it's always obvious after the fact - especially for certain Scotshobbits sitting back in their comfy armchairs pontificating while drinking their buckie and having absolutely no idea what we Survivaliminists have to go through on a daily basis!  Mad


{{{And you have to admit, it made for good doco making, Petty!  Very Happy }}}

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Post by Orwell Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:50 am

Mrs Figg wrote:thats no way to treat lady Scotshobbits  No 

I would never call a Lady a chook, Mrs Figg.  Very Happy


Last edited by Orwell on Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:06 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Orwell Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:02 am

David H wrote:
Orwell wrote: I'm also a trial and error sort. My cranberries - for example - have spent time in my Aquaponics grow bed, and then in a bathtub with soil (which is now a pond) and now are back in pots while I contemplate what next to do.   Very Happy 


I may not be able to watch the videos till I get to a faster connection, maybe a day or two, but I'm anxious to hear more about how the expatriate cranberries are faring! Nod {{{ pale }}}

They suffer only from too much care (and thought). I may make a special bog garden for 'em, methinks.  I've decided if I want them to contribute to my produce business I'll need more than three plants - probably at least six. Very Happy 

I will make you a quick video - once my mobile phone has charged up !  Mad  - to give you an overview of my progress. I see cranberry farming as a key plank of my Survivalism strategy. You can see how serious I am with my plan to double production. Err... theoretical production, that is, as I haven't actually produced anything yet. You of course will understand the inherent difficulties of developing a thriving {{{Survivalisiminist - you too???}}} horticultural enterprise. Stay tuned.  Very Happy

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Post by bungobaggins Sat Jul 12, 2014 5:02 am

"Survivalism is not all beer and Skittles." Now there's a quotable quote. Nod

Oooh, the chickens! Ser Ilyn, bring me their heads!  Twisted Evil 

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{{{Unless they're just for eggs.}}}

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Post by Orwell Sat Jul 12, 2014 9:02 am

For eggses! {{(And adter what they've put me through so far - they better!  Mad }}}

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Post by halfwise Sat Jul 12, 2014 2:05 pm

If you want to grow something that grows so prolifically you become desperate to give it away, then try zucchini.  Nod  We even have national 'Leave a Zucchini on your Neighbor's Porch' day. At least we did a couple years ago. Comes up in early August here, which I guess would be February Down Under.

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Post by halfwise Sat Jul 12, 2014 2:25 pm

BTW, shouldn't this thread be in Off Topic rather than Site Issues? Not that it matters that much but I'm feeling a little like a thread nazi this morning.

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Post by David H Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:12 pm

Orwell wrote:They suffer only from too much care (and thought). I may make a special bog garden for 'em, methinks.  I've decided if I want them to contribute to my produce business I'll need more than three plants - probably at least six. Very Happy 

I will make you a quick video - once my mobile phone has charged up !  Mad  - to give you an overview of my progress. I see cranberry farming as a key plank of my Survivalism strategy. You can see how serious I am with my plan to double production.

If you're looking to expand your cranberry bog, I may be able to be of some assistance........ pirat 

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Post by halfwise Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:24 pm

I'm just trying to figure out why someone would be trying to grow cranberries in a land famous for everything except bogs.

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jul 12, 2014 5:37 pm

if I was survivalisting I would grow  tatties, onions, carrots, cauliflower, leaks, turnips, peas, beans, lettuce, strawberries, blackberries and have fruit trees. I bet you could survive on that lot easy apart from bread but you could make that out of chestnut flour. oh and chookies for protein and goats for cheese.

edit. I forgot herbs, mint, thyme, basil, etc. and lavender and roses for attracting beezez for honey, if you have hives. talking of honey do you have manuka plants in Oz or only in NZ, because thats the best honey in the world and its really expensive, I love it.
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Post by Orwell Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:35 am

halfwise wrote:If you want to grow something that grows so prolifically you become desperate to give it away, then try zucchini.  Nod  We even have national 'Leave a Zucchini on your Neighbor's Porch' day.  At least we did a couple years ago.  Comes up in early August here, which I guess would be February Down Under.

I had neighbours give me zuccini's earlier this year (about Feb, yep!) --- but I had more zuccinis growing than they did!!!!  Mad  I've decided to compost my gluts if I can't sell them. It's a Circle of (vegetable patch) Life thing. Why would a Survivalisminist give biomass away when he can put it back into his (or her) own patch?  Rolling Eyes


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Post by Orwell Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:36 am

halfwise wrote:I'm just trying to figure out why someone would be trying to grow cranberries in a land famous for everything except bogs.

Yes, Eldo has failed me again. Why hasn't he put it somewhere more appropriate?  Rolling Eyes 

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Post by Orwell Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:37 am

Mrs Figg wrote:if I was survivalisting I would grow  tatties, onions, carrots, cauliflower, leaks, turnips, peas, beans, lettuce, strawberries, blackberries and have fruit trees. I bet you could survive on that lot easy apart from bread but you could make that out of chestnut flour. oh and chookies for protein and goats for cheese.

edit. I forgot herbs, mint, thyme, basil, etc. and lavender and roses for attracting beezez for honey, if you have hives. talking of honey do you have manuka plants in Oz or only in NZ, because thats the best honey in the world and its really expensive, I love it.

Great minds like yours, and small minds like mine, clearly think alike, Mrs Figg. As to the Manuka thing. Err.. could be Kiwi.... Don't know really.

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Post by Orwell Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:44 am

Another action packed and thought provoking installment... And Dave... I have raised some questions regards cranberries for your consideration... Perhaps your bog enhancement ideas might come in useful.  Very Happy 




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Post by halfwise Sun Jul 13, 2014 3:04 am

Note that not unlike G.R.R. Martin, each installment is longer than the last.

Not being a horticulturist type myself, I find myself wondering why you are going around shoving sticks in the ground.  Sure, you say they are apple trees and what not, but I know a stick when I've seen one.  Somebody's taking you for a ride I suspect.

Fish? Are you gonna thunk them over the head and plant them by each spinach and turnip plant to help them grow?

Edit: my favorite part is asking Dave whether the cranberries are dead or not.  Razz  If raising sheep would you be asking Petty the same question?

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Post by Orwell Sun Jul 13, 2014 3:30 am

I'd be asking Petty different questions about his relationship with his sheep.  Very Happy  {{{The fish supply poo as fertilizer btw.  Very Happy }}} {{Actually, I only heard the term 'fertigation' very recently. There seems to be words being invented all the time.  Very Happy }}}

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