Kingdom of the New Viridian Berry

"FUS RO DAH!
Says the lord:
Fucking cool,
Oh my god!"

I miss Ally|s hat, where is she?

Wheres Yooper?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT MY SANCUARY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SOMEONE STOP HER SHE'S RUNING THE CALM NATURE OF THOUGHFULLNESS AND SADNESS HOLY FUCK PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOT HERE not here not here NOT HERE

FI FIE FO FUM
I smell the bum
of a Norced Forum

I often think of Harlem
that's where I belong
that's home
you miss youper
that's cool
but I will help you find him

*you done much singing*

~starts singing Auld Lang Syne

I think Kings of the new Viridian Berry should have Yoopers.

People tell me it’s a sin
To know and feel too much within
I still believe Figg was here but I lost the ring
He was born in spring, but I was born too late
Blame it on a simple twist of fate

c...aa..nnnt goooooo oooooon. muuuust sleeeeeeeeepppppppp

GIVE UP THEN WE CAN

this is me just now finding out my hotel is next to a trader joe's:

this is me just now realizing i'll have to walk out in the snow to get to the trader joe's:

I used to like Trader Joe's until I found a moth larva in a pop tart I bought from them.

I was traumatized for months.

Did you keep it? According to PJ Moths can talk to giant eagles who'll then will come rescue you. Might come in handy if you miss the buss or something.

No, I have a phobia of bugs so I freaked out and after realizing what it was my mom threw it away.

We later learned that there were also larvae in the pop tarts my brother took to school and those actually survived long enough to pupate and become actual moths before my brother threw everything out.

*shudders*

But... Wait a minute! Hold on! Time out! You are American, and you didn't sue them!? I thought it was The Law!

You can get an exemption from constant lawsuits if you respond to the idea with righteous indignation instead. I believe my mom took the remnants of one of the boxes of pop tarts back to the store to complain/notify them, but that was all we ever did. Meanwhile I was still curled up in a ball in my room trying to forget seeing the sight of the little grub thing wriggling around in my breakfast.

Joke about the Mayans, comment re: gun control, self-deprecating quip, politically subversive comment, T. Swift reference AND THEN 1 DAY I DIE, I'M OUT