While we're waiting; PIES

5 posters

Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Norc Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:12 pm

while we're waiting for Eldo's next instalement, a short story from my side. Was originally a school paper Smile
(and I know you guys like a lot of paragrahps when you read, but my teatcher don't so sorry for the compressed feeling)

Pies

She looked at the old clock on the wall. It was a quarter past five in the afternoon; he should be here any minute now. It was a sunny afternoon and so bright was the light that everything inside seemed dark and gloomy. Sue didn’t light any candles or lamps though, those things belonged to the fall, she thought. Looking out one more time, she still couldn’t see his tall figure among the people on the street. They were so busy, dogs and cats ran around steeling whatever food they could find, shopkeepers re-arranged the shelves outside their shops, horses dragged all kinds of wagons, goods and people, whirling up the dry dirt onto fine ladies with purple, extravagant dresses with hats and small, pompous umbrellas to keep the sun away from their heads as they walked fast on the wooden pavements. Sue turned away and went into the kitchen to check the pies. Normally she didn’t do much cooking; she had people doing that for her, but today was a special day. It was all planned. He just needed to come home. The pies looked good. They had gotten a nice tan and smelled of heaven. Sue laid a towel over them to keep them warm and tasty. Her dress was blue today. Blue was his favourite colour. Blue, just like her eyes, Christopher used to say. She used to stroke her fingers through his blond, thick hair when he said that and smile at him. Sue even smiled when she thought about it. She once more looked outside, but she still couldn’t see anyone. On the mantelpiece lay a small pile of letters. Sue lifted them up, almost knew them by heart now. They smelled good, like grass and soil after a rainy day. Stroking her fingers over them memories of lazy days and cool summer evenings came to here. She folded them carefully and put them in her dress.

Sue felt calm. She checked on the pies to re-assure herself that they were still there. And then, finally, a tall man came with long steps towards the building, his long coat floating behind him in the warm wind. She hurried down in a chair and picked up her embroidery. She didn’t want to make it seem like she had been waiting for him.
“Hello darling.” She heard the door slam shut then followed by the sounds of shoes as he walked into the kitchen.
“Did you make pies, Sue?” He stuck his head into the living room.
“Yes, I did.” Sue got up and walked towards him. She took of his hat and tried not to look at the bald spot on his head.
“Just for you, Oscar.” She smiled and took his hat and coat with her to the hallway, “hope you’re hungry.” She laid the table with a white cloth with flower embroideries and used her finest cutlery. The plates were of imported china given to her at her wedding.
“oh, this was posh. What’s the occasion?”
“Does it have to be an occasion? We never use these anyway.” She dragged his chair out, “sit, have some pie, love.” She cut him a piece, and then cut herself one.
“I think they turned out quite well, don’t you think, Oscar.” He took a bite and his eyes grew wide in surprize. “Yes, they did,” he dried his mouth on a napkin, “I didn’t know you could bake pies, Sue.” The pies were good, Sue had to admit. She was very pleased with herself. This was so clever.
“What is the secret ingredient? I can’t remember having tasted something like this before.” He took another bite out of the pie, this time a much bigger bite.
“Well, you have to guess.” Sue smiled.
“Is it mushroom?”
“No.”
“Extra onion?”
“No.” He lifted up another piece and studied it. “I have no idea, please tell me.” He put the last of the pie in his mouth and swallowed it. “Come on, tell me.” Sue got up and started collecting the plates. She couldn’t stop smiling. Oscar coughed.
“Oh, here, have some water.”
“It’s okay” he held the napkin over his mouth, “but tell me. What did you put in th-“ he was interrupted by another cough.
“Sure you don’t want some water?” But he couldn’t answer now. His napkin had bloods stains on it. She turned away and looked out on the sky.
“You,” his voice was sore and it sounded like he couldn’t breathe, “You put nuts in it.”
“Yes, nuts.” His cough was terribly dry now, but it suddenly fell silent. She turned to look at him. He lay perfectly still, bent over the table. It’ll be hard to get those blood stains out of the table-cloth, Sue thought while walking slowly to the hallway.
“Mrs Anderson! Will you call the doctor? I think my husband ate nuts. Quickly please, he’s having a fit!”


Last edited by Norc on Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
Norc
Norc
Khaleesi

Posts : 19247
Join date : 2011-12-21
Age : 27

http://nimrail.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:19 pm

Nicely dark Norc- I enjoyed that. But I am curious, you said it was originally a school paper- was it in English originally or is is this a translation?- because if you wite this well in a second language its a damn shame I can't read Fjordian.

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Norc Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:21 pm

original english ^_^ thanks Smile you have no idea how happy you made me with ur comment om my english Very Happy
Norc
Norc
Khaleesi

Posts : 19247
Join date : 2011-12-21
Age : 27

http://nimrail.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:24 pm

Just the truth Norc no false flattery- I cant magine writing in a language thats not my native one- when I wirte it all happens somewhere between my brain and the end of my typing fingers- but I cant analyse or nail down the process at all, and I think to do so would kill it, so the thought of essentially translating stuff in my head as I write terrifys me. So praise where it is due Norc and its due here.

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Norc Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:27 pm

Shame I don't have a suitable Sherlock (as Sherlock never is very flattered) gif to show my emotion, but I am really happy ^u^
Norc
Norc
Khaleesi

Posts : 19247
Join date : 2011-12-21
Age : 27

http://nimrail.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:31 pm

Don't have a gif for you Norc but does remind me of the first Sherlock episode when they are round the 'pink lady corpse' and Watson says, "That's brilliant." To which Sherlock replies, "You do know you say these things out loud?" Watson-"Sorry". Sherlock- "No,no, its fine. I like it."
Closest I can think to Sherlock being flattered!

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Norc Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:34 pm

haha, yes xD true Smile
Norc
Norc
Khaleesi

Posts : 19247
Join date : 2011-12-21
Age : 27

http://nimrail.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Amarië Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:53 pm

Ooooo! Good work, Nora! Good flow and build up. I really could picture it in my head. You know this means I'll be expecting you too to post stories now, right?

_________________
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
One does not simply woke into Mordor.
-Mrs Figg

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
-Marcus Aurelius

 #amarieco
Amarië
Amarië
Dark Planet Ambassador

Posts : 5299
Join date : 2011-06-10
Age : 41
Location : The Dark Planet Embassy, Main str. Needlehole.

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Norc Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:08 pm

iiiih takker og bukker Very Happy
but don't expect too much, I'm a lazy bastard Embarassed
Norc
Norc
Khaleesi

Posts : 19247
Join date : 2011-12-21
Age : 27

http://nimrail.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:22 pm

But honest!

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Mrs Figg Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:26 pm

cheers that was great Norc and the twist at the end was a surprise, she seemed like such a nice respectable lady too. I hope you do write more if flowed really well.

Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Orwell Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:15 am

Remind me to never marry a Fjordian gal! Shocked

_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8895
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 103
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

While we're waiting; PIES Empty Re: While we're waiting; PIES

Post by Norc Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:26 pm

thanks for all the lovely feedback. Maybe I have some more, we'll see. it has a christmas theme so maybe not the right time Rolling Eyes

Orwell wrote:Remind me to never marry a Fjordian gal! Shocked
so the bunad magic didn't last long did it?
Norc
Norc
Khaleesi

Posts : 19247
Join date : 2011-12-21
Age : 27

http://nimrail.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum