what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

This bloke said to me "I once got my dog to retrieve a stick from 100 miles away." I said "That’s a bit far-fetched."

 

 

What goes, clip…………clop………...clip…………clop………...clip…………clop…………,


BANG!


clip,clop,clip,clop,clip,clop,clip,clop,clip,clop,clip,clop,clip,clop?







An Amish drive-by shooting.

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.


My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.


She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.


It had to be deliberate she never did it around anyone else.


One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my Sister's wedding invitations' she said.


She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me. She couldn't overcome them anymore.


She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married.


She said "Before you commit your life to my sister".
Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom" she said.
"if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me".


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.


I stood there for a moment....then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.


Lord And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.
He said, 'Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family my son..'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

always wondered why Frisbee's get bigger as they get closer



and then it hit me

At last ! I can sleep easy, for now we know...Why The chicken Crossed The road !  

Whatchu laughing at, old man? That's your own design you're mocking.

{{{}}}

what goes..99....bonk...?


a centipede with a wooden leg

Man Working Ahead

Men Working Ahead

Men Kissing Ahead

Rampant Unchecked Homosexuality Ahead

OK it's lame and the pictures are way oversized, but what do you expect from a Hillbilly?

It was a slow build up.

Decent punchline though