what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

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Post by azriel Fri May 24, 2013 3:59 pm

Last one.....................................................................
" A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked. “No, I don’t” she replied.

Well,” he spoofed, “there’s a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.”

She didn’t crack a smile. “Oh, well. I tried.” – he thought.

Five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure, she burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he asked. “I was just picturing how condoms are made!” – she said.

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Post by Mrs Figg Fri May 24, 2013 3:59 pm

Laughing
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri May 24, 2013 5:00 pm

Laughing

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Post by Norc Sat May 25, 2013 2:36 am

Laughing
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Post by Norc Sat May 25, 2013 6:55 pm

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Post by Norc Sat May 25, 2013 7:05 pm

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat May 25, 2013 7:23 pm

ok- I got a question about the dizzy blonde- how the hell did she get to 10,000 in prize money?! Shocked Do you get it for just turning up on US quiz shows?

And that presenter is a genius!

"Women dont really want to hear a mans opinion, they just want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice"

Laughing

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Post by Norc Sat May 25, 2013 7:47 pm



Rybak dropped his violin when playing at the nobel peace price concert. and if you wonder why one shouldn't drop a violin, it is because it goes out of tune..

most embarrasing fail ever. i shouldn't be laughing, cus i feel sorry for him and he did handle it well (he starts playing at 4.20 ish Smile )
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Post by chris63 Mon May 27, 2013 4:59 am

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Post by Eldorion Mon May 27, 2013 5:00 am

I just can't look away... Laughing Sofa
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Post by azriel Mon May 27, 2013 9:51 am

Im a girl but even I felt that one !
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Post by Norc Mon May 27, 2013 9:59 am

in what universe is it a good idea to throw a concrete-block over your head.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon May 27, 2013 1:47 pm

Why?! Just why would you do that? Shocked

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Post by Mrs Figg Mon May 27, 2013 6:55 pm

these people get to drive on our roads. No
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Post by azriel Tue May 28, 2013 8:29 pm

A Irish doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”

“Yes, sir!” – answers Seamus.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: ”So, Seamus, how was your day?”

Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.

“The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”

“Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.

“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” – says Seamus.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” – asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including her bra, her panties and lied down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”

“Thunderin’ Lord Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” – asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes.” !!!!!


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"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
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Post by azriel Tue May 28, 2013 8:38 pm

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.

The chief walks to the men and says, ” What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?” The first man thinks for a second and replies, “I choose Boogaloo”.

The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant “boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo”. The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up the ***.

The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, “You must choose, Death or Boogaloo”?

The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, “I choose death”.

The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, “Death by boogaloo!!!”

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue May 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Embarassed crikey I wonder if thats like Bunga Bunga?
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Post by chris63 Wed May 29, 2013 4:10 am

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Post by chris63 Thu May 30, 2013 8:51 am

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Post by azriel Thu May 30, 2013 10:13 am

lol!

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Post by Norc Thu May 30, 2013 10:41 am

http://vimeo.com/65102146

watch the video!
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Post by azriel Thu May 30, 2013 10:56 am

:facepalm: But I still laughed Laughing

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Post by chris63 Fri May 31, 2013 6:20 am

me too

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Post by chris63 Fri May 31, 2013 7:00 am

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Post by azriel Fri May 31, 2013 9:08 pm

Laughing

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