what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

Last one.....................................................................
" A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked. “No, I don’t” she replied.

Well,” he spoofed, “there’s a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.”

She didn’t crack a smile. “Oh, well. I tried.” – he thought.

Five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure, she burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he asked. “I was just picturing how condoms are made!” – she said.

ok- I got a question about the dizzy blonde- how the hell did she get to 10,000 in prize money?! Do you get it for just turning up on US quiz shows?

And that presenter is a genius!

"Women dont really want to hear a mans opinion, they just want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice"

Rybak dropped his violin when playing at the nobel peace price concert. and if you wonder why one shouldn't drop a violin, it is because it goes out of tune..

most embarrasing fail ever. i shouldn't be laughing, cus i feel sorry for him and he did handle it well (he starts playing at 4.20 ish )

I just can't look away...

Im a girl but even I felt that one !

in what universe is it a good idea to throw a concrete-block over your head.

Why?! Just why would you do that?

these people get to drive on our roads.

A Irish doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”

“Yes, sir!” – answers Seamus.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: ”So, Seamus, how was your day?”

Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.

“The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”

“Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.

“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” – says Seamus.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” – asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including her bra, her panties and lied down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”

“Thunderin’ Lord Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” – asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes.” !!!!!

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.

The chief walks to the men and says, ” What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?” The first man thinks for a second and replies, “I choose Boogaloo”.

The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant “boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo”. The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up the ***.

The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, “You must choose, Death or Boogaloo”?

The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, “I choose death”.

The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, “Death by boogaloo!!!”

crikey I wonder if thats like Bunga Bunga?

http://vimeo.com/65102146

watch the video!

But I still laughed

me too