what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

According to the HOLLYWOOD HUCKSTER: His wife was traveling to join him in LA from Boston. Her car broke down just outside an Indian reservation in a remote part of Arizona. Fortunately, a Native American on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding canyons. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station. He yelled one final "Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and he rode off.
.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing,” the Huckster's wife said. “I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.”
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

*facepalm*

i bought flavored water and sorbet and almond milk I got a little crazy

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

the star above you cyrstal blue

hey !!!! thats my son !!!!

Five Scotsmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four."

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Scotsmen retorts in disbelief. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons."

"You can not pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."

The Scotsmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

How did the five Scotsmen drive their car to Ireland?

ferry

That would explain the skirts.

Thats it Eldo, kill the joke ! your not supposed to THINK about it

Teacher and her 3 boy students:

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

Besides in the Scots gag its obvious they would put the car on a buckie bottle raft.

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."

Genius. when Petty becomes Mr Figg #3. I will try that one out.