what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2]

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Post by chris63 Wed Jun 05, 2013 3:31 am

According to the HOLLYWOOD HUCKSTER: His wife was traveling to join him in LA from Boston. Her car broke down just outside an Indian reservation in a remote part of Arizona. Fortunately, a Native American on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding canyons. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station. He yelled one final "Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and he rode off.
.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing,” the Huckster's wife said. “I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.”
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

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Post by Norc Wed Jun 05, 2013 8:04 am

*facepalm*
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Post by Norc Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:04 am

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:41 am

Very Happy

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Post by azriel Wed Jun 05, 2013 4:46 pm

Laughing

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Post by CC12 35 Wed Jun 05, 2013 9:38 pm

i bought flavored water and sorbet and almond milk I got a little crazy

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Post by azriel Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:41 pm

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.

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Post by Mrs Figg Thu Jun 06, 2013 12:19 am

Laughing
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Post by azriel Thu Jun 06, 2013 12:32 am

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

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Post by CC12 35 Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:10 am

the star above you cyrstal blue

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Post by chris63 Thu Jun 06, 2013 4:42 am

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Post by Eldorion Thu Jun 06, 2013 4:53 am

Laughing
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Post by chris63 Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:27 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Mcdonalds-new-anus-pounder

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Post by chris63 Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:58 am

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Post by azriel Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:13 pm

hey !!!! thats my son !!!! Laughing

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Post by azriel Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:31 pm

Five Scotsmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four."

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Scotsmen retorts in disbelief. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons."

"You can not pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."

The Scotsmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Jean-b11
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Post by Eldorion Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:32 pm

How did the five Scotsmen drive their car to Ireland? scratch
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Post by CC12 35 Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:52 pm

ferry

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Post by Eldorion Thu Jun 06, 2013 7:22 pm

That would explain the skirts.
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Post by azriel Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:36 pm

Thats it Eldo, kill the joke ! Razz your not supposed to THINK about it :facepalm:

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Jean-b11
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Post by azriel Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:39 pm

Teacher and her 3 boy students:

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Jean-b11
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:45 pm

Very Happy

Besides in the Scots gag its obvious they would put the car on a buckie bottle raft.

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Post by azriel Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:05 pm

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."



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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [2] - Page 5 Jean-b11
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Post by Norc Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:10 pm

Laughing
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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:12 am

Genius. when Petty becomes Mr Figg #3. I will try that one out. Nod
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