The Needlehole Mysteries [2]

“What are you two doing here?”
“we…eh.. we..erm.. uh…erm.. we.. we just … that.. you know.. well.. we were” Eldo stammered and gesticulated, his face the colour of china’s flag.

it was the redest thing i could think of

btw, Amarië, your turn i made some drama ^^

okay, i've added an illustration, the plan was to do something more intriquate, with like a comic sort of thing, but naah... i had homework and i just .. blargh.

Brilliant!

:3

(btw, the two last parts need to be put into the table of context before they are "lost" forever)

Added them to the first page of this thread.

Love how the thread starts with Halfie's knickers. So forumshire.

i know.. so this thread too

- You said she was making dinner!
- She said she had a spa date first! Some female networking thing. This is the last place in Middle Earth I thought she'd be!
- Spa? What's that?

A venomous “ahem” behind them made them turn around and stood face to face with mrs Figg. She had changed from her previous work wear to an eel skin bathing suit with a silk bathrobe loosely tied around her waist. Looking fabulous as usual.

- Wednesdays are ladies night. Cute attire and rumors aside, you two don't pass as girls. Get. Out. Of. Here.

Ringo looked rather miffed. Not only because his plan had gone terribly wrong, but because he knew this was a deal breaker. Page 3 of the contract. Very large letters. And he who had just started to get the hang of things.

Eldo muttered an apology and grabbed Ringo's shirt and Ringo did the only sensible thing.
He yanked out of the grasp, put on the saddest puppy eyes the world had ever seen (one must, of course, take into consideration that youtube, Disney and Japanese animation hadn't reached the Shire yet.).

- I am so sorry, mrs Figg. I just wanted to show Eldo the holding tanks. We didn't know there'd be girls there.

Julia smirked.
- That usually works for you, I imagine?

Ringo nodded, the pout making making way for a boyish grin.
- Absolutely! Also I was hoping you would put the blame on me and not him.

Julia laughed and waved them off.

...

- All the girls in Needlehole are nuts. Nuts! hissed Eldo when they felt they were at a safe(r) distance.
- In my defense though, I did mean well! Oi! No hitting!

…

- All the lads in Needlehole are NUTS! exclaimed Nora.

Amarie laughed and Julia nodded knowingly.

this just gets better and better now i wanna draw puppy-eyed Ringo and Eldo being all embarrased and awkward

Cute attire and rumors aside, you two don't pass as girls.

btw... this kinda needs to happen.. like.. {{{{{draaaag!}}}}}}

“Hello boys.” Nora said to the room as she hanged her long, elegant, black (stolen) coat up. Neither Ringo nor Eldo gave her any reply. They had both collapsed in the love seat when they got home and sat now deep in thought. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since Eldo politely offered milk to Ringo’s coffee and Ringo declined.
“I said hi” She tried again. Eldo suddenly blinked. “hi Nora” was what he wanted to say, but it was a long time since last time he used his voice. Ringo just looked sinister.
“okay…” Nora hesitated. “are you… angry with me?”
Eldo became mute and rose up to make more coffee, however Ringo dragged him firmly back by the belt. “you ain’t going nowhere” he hissed from the corner of his mouth.
“what’s going on with you two?”
“we're crossed with you” Ringo said. “very crossed”
“are we?”
“yes”
“what are you talking about Ringo?”
“I think you know what I am talking about, Nora” Ringo put his arms across his chest and put his chin up.
“No I don’t” She answered and mimicked his movement. “Eldo, tell me, what’s going on.”
“erm..” Eldo didn’t really want any trouble. “I .. I .. it-“
“It’s about you being a FUCKING HYPOCRITE!”
“WHAT?!” now followed a colourful exchange of fjordian swearing. Eldo found it good to put on his proffesional stress dealing look.
“SHUT IT!” Eldo jumped up and did a moses. “SHUT IT PLEASE! We all did stupid stuff okay?”
“She pulled a rank on me!”
“You two went to Mrs Figg's!”
“you have no right to tell us what to do and what not!”
“HÆSTKUK”
“SLØRVFETTA”
“FAEN TA DÆ”
“SHUT IT!!!!!!” Eldo now had to struggle to hold them at an armlength distance from each other.
“Let’s just… calm down.”
“I AM CALM!”
“ME TOO!”
They stood there fuming.
“Listen” Eldo counted to ten before continuing. “Let me propose something. Let’s go get a drink, right, let us forget this and get totally hammered.” They exchanged looks and then, totally synchronised, they nodded.
“good idea.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
“good swearing.”
“thanks you too”
“where are you going, Ringo?”
“putting on a new shirt.”
“What for?”
“it’s a bar..”
“oh.”
.
.
.
.
“two secs, I’ll be right back, Nora.”
Nora rolled her eyes. “boys” She then let her hair down, put on some lipstick. “So dandy..”

hehe... ok.. the fanfic is now 10 000 words, and 28 pages long.. i mean... if you're to make a book, normal sized (not A4) that is like... the hobbit. or something. not far off...

[ok. couldn't wait. I did a two parter. now, Amarië, your turn.]

To keep them on the bright side, Eldo bought the drinks. Then they tactically placed themselves in a good corner and did a quick sweep of the crowd. Nora soon got her eyes up for a rather handsome young hobbit.
“oh, look at that” She said, more to herself really.
“wow, you’re quick” Eldo said, intimidated.
“Have you got the target in your sight, Agent Nora?” Ringo said.
“Yesh, mish moneypenny”
“oi, you don’t think it’s a bit.. early?” Eldo said abruptly.
“no” She said and took a sip of her dry martini (shaken, not stirred).
“Who is it” Ringo asked, searching the crowd eagerly. Eldo too, though a bit more concerned.
“That one, the one in the blue shirt.” Eldo’s heart sank down to somewhere below his stomach. Ringo smiled knowingly.
“Too bad he’s gay.”
“No, he’s not” Nora turned round, “He’s chatting with those women, look”
“They are just his beard”
“His what?”
“beard.” Nora rolled her eyes, but she normally trusted Ringo’s people skills.
“Well, how can you tell”
“with that level of personal grooming, cum on.” Ringo said and pretended to hold up his beer glass and checking on his curls (while Nora was painfully aware that the handsome blue-shirted hobbit also was doing just that). Eldo suddenly felt a bit embarrassed.
“Well, we all care about how we look” he said. Nora nodded in agreement.
“Do you want me to prove it?” Ringo raised an eyebrow.
“what?” Nora looked at him for a moment, but confident in her case “yeah. Ok, go on then, if you’re able to get his number, you win.”
“Well, that’s not fair,” Eldo broke in “anyone would go gay for Ringo”. Nora and Ringo looked at him.
“come on, he’s the biggest flirt ever.” Nora’s face smirked up while Ringo just grinned like a loon.
“what?”
“Well,” Nora said “you would know that”. Eldo, for the second time, turned embarrassingly red.
“What are you implying, I am straight as a Lothlorien tree.”
“if you say so, dear” Ringo said and kissed him on the cheek.
“Oh, shut up.”

They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since Eldo politely offered milk to Ringo’s coffee and Ringo declined.

“where are you going, Ringo?”
“putting on a new shirt.”
“What for?”
“it’s a bar..”
“oh.”


“Well, that’s not fair,” Eldo broke in “anyone would go gay for Ringo”.


Brilliant Norc, simply brilliant.

hehehe

Pettytyrant101 wrote: They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since Eldo politely offered milk to Ringo’s coffee and Ringo declined.

“where are you going, Ringo?”
“putting on a new shirt.”
“What for?”
“it’s a bar..”
“oh.”


“Well, that’s not fair,” Eldo broke in “anyone would go gay for Ringo”.


Brilliant Norc, simply brilliant.

Amen, brother! (I think you belong in Merlin fandom, Nora. Ringo is SO sir Gwain!)

who's sir Gwain?

rip lance

yes, he's fitting

CC12 35 wrote:rip lance

Indeed.

but then again those from essex (the south) do have a very low life expectancy

its the eels, they are savage in Essex.

I guess you'd need to know your eels before you attempted any wrangling, what?

specially medieval eels