LITTLE FORUMSHIRE in FULL COLOUR (Unwanted visitors risk interference!)

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Post by RA Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:11 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote: Hissy Fit Award Laughing
Nod We should have a bunch of awards like that.
Like most likely to handle rejection well, or something lol!


Hissy fits have no place in Little Forumshire... Only dull and boring Forumshirans and Bree-landers (apparently) have hissy fits. If you must come here Rodney, then you need to learn a few of the Little Forumshiran proprieties! And by the way, Hissy fits should never be confused for Ennobled indignationings!
Nod

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:28 pm

I think I got the Hissy Fit covered. Laughing

Questions:
1. do we need passports to enter here? pale
2. whats the currency exchange rate? (is it carrots?)
3. is there a public toilet?

Answers:
1. Oh you lovable Lady! You are already a Citizen! Laughing You have all the intellect of a pin, you know that don't you {{{maybe she doesn't? Suspect }}} and we love you for it! Nod (With all the Bankses here we need to broaden the gene pool. You will, of course, need to take Odo, Biffo, Wisey and Sir Rupert Dashing to husband, and breed three children for each. There wil be plenty of Old Wynyard though, to get you through all the birthings! Very Happy )
2. Carrots are not spoken of in Polite Society {{{though our Mexican Serfs need to eat something!}}}
3. There are several. We are not Forumshire! Rolling Eyes
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Post by Porgy Bunk-Banks Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:36 pm

Well, my Wisey won't be going near that woman-hobbit! I've heard she's a floozy! Mad
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Post by odo banks Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:39 pm

Now now, Porgy, a bit of decorum, please. But she does have a point, Orwell. I mean, my Primmy and Bella have made their contribution to the gene pool. Even now Sunny has gone off to Daneland to find one of their girl-crazy hobbit princes to wed. And Shady - that stout lad of mine - is even now in France looking for any lass who isn't English! Very Happy

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Post by CC12 35 Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:45 pm

NOTICE TO CITIZENS AND UNWANTED VISITORS

This post is now proscribed!

what does it mean when girolamo savonarol like likes some other girl that isn't you? does that mean he's in love with you



by order of President Orwell.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:49 pm

Not necessarily but Id look your wellies out if I were you. Nod


Oh how droll, Petty - how droll.... Oh let me fill that mug of yours again....













{{{ Suspect Note to self: I'll have to keep a watch on that dratted Tyrant --- if only I could find a means to disempower his Moderator Powers -- then I'd fix him all right! Mad Wellie jokes? In Little Forumshire! What next? Rolling Eyes }}}

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:49 pm

no it means he is a monk in a funk. Shocked

((((even pin brains like wot I am know who Savonarola is. rabbit ))))))



{{{Note to self: What's a funk, I wonder? Suspect Is it something like a trunk, I wonder? Suspect }}}
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:01 pm

drunken drunken You know I think I'm starting to like this place....but its missing something.. drunken ... scratch ... drunken ..I've got it! study [modified emoticon-thingee]

A drunken streak!!!! drunken bounce drunken flower [censored emoticon-thingee] Whoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! drunken





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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:05 pm

Hey why does my vase have a censored sign on it? drunken Sure I never left that there. drunken





Edited slightly by Centre for Good Manners and Grammar.

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Post by CC12 35 Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:10 pm

BANNED POST BANNED POST BANNED POST BANNED POST BANNED POST




sucks how angelika kauffmann's socks are like the one thing you can't really make out with



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Post by Mirabella Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:11 pm

Oh dear Petty.... drunk again? Oh you little darling.... What? No buckie.... here... put your sweet head under this tap... that's right.... drink up... driiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnk up, laddie.... {{Is he staring at my hotpants? Suspect Scotshobbits! Rolling Eyes }}} Drinnnnnnnnnnnnnk... that's right... Good Scotshobbit! Nod

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:14 pm

drunken drunken Feckin PJ!!! drunken Sleep



{{{"Is he asleep, Orwell?" "Always hard to tell with him, Mirabella... but whatever you do, don't turn off the tap!""Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Shocked "Sorry, my dear! Embarassed }}}

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Post by CC12 35 Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:23 pm

uh oh! i think I'll cut my tongue out with the scissors that kate greenaway used to use to cut her bangs. someone come over and stick a sock in my mouth at the least, as it would be a great service to the Citizens of Little Forumshire RIGHT NOW (and forever!)










Slightly edited by the Rules and Regulation Board



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Post by Orwell Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:41 pm

I have moved this last Chapter to Little Forumshire as an Generous Offering to Citizens and Visitors.


THE SEARCH FOR THE FARKENSTONE (or something like that).

Chapter Twenty Something


How it all ended and certain Worthy Fairies (as Hobbits-transformed) found the Promised Land' ... continued.

It is absolutely amazing what adventures the Fantabulous Five had as Thunderbirds, but as they don't come into this tale, I will return to the core tale.

Bleary eyed, Julia woke up under the leafy limbs of Murkygreywood. "Oh were all those amazing dreams we had just dreams afterall?"

"You mean about our lives as Thunderbirds?" Amarie asked.

"The same!"

"I think they were," Ally (who has often been called Aleek - and Aleeek in the earliest parts) said.

"I know they were," Norc (who has been called both Neek and Neeek in this tale) said in her pouty "I know everything' tone.

Odo hurried into their camp. He looked vibrant and happy. "My dear friends. Well, you people at least! I was creeping around in the trees looking for dancing elves, but what do I find instead?"

"I have no idea," Lance said sourly.

"The Promised Land!" Odo proclaimed proclaimactorily.

"The Promised Land?" Julia asked irritably. "Is this tale going in another direction --- again!?"

"It's the end, I think," Orwell offered, as sometimes he seemed to know where Ol' Anon was going, but not always.

"Quickly now!" Odo said excitedly. "Follow me!"

And the Questers followed Odo through the trees until they found a place of shimmery green and yellow wall-thingee eerieness.

"I'm not going through that shimmery green and yellow wall-thingee eerieness," Julia protested.

"Well, I am," Orwell cried. "I've always wanted to go to the Promised Land -- except I never believed it existed until now."

And off Orwell trudged. Of course, Julia followed close behind him in spite of her misgivings, her being so in awe of Orwell and wanting to continue to boss him around like all true lovers do.

And of course Odo ran through at speed, as he always expected to be one of the first to proceed to the Promised Land.

But the other Questers hesitated, and that's why Eru set it down that they can only ever be Visitors to the Promised Land --- which is Little Forumshire, of course!


THE END ... or Beginning!


Last edited by Orwell on Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:50 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post by CC12 35 Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:08 pm

if florence claxton was in Bon Iver I think shed would enjoy this tale


Which shed? Suspect

Nah... don't bother answering....



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Post by The Archet Bugle Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:18 pm

NEWSFLASH

By Order of the President!

The borders of Little Forumshire are temporarily closed due to our Audacious President having to do some boring things to do with Real Life, as well as having a sore back from playing Netball with his daughter last night (in the Real World) and so he is feeling a bit sorry for himself, which is fair enough, considering.

Eru Bless the President!

NON CITIZENS KEEP OUT!
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:13 am

Sleep Sleep No, not that Philippa! Mad Sleep

-yawn- Hello? Mmm where is everyone? scratch
Hey Odo's left his jelly vat unattended.....I've got an idea Twisted Evil

{{{{{{{Couple of barrels of buckie in there Laughing I cant wait to see Odo after he's had this drunken }}}}

Think I'll just grab another 40 winks..... drunken Sleep

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Post by odo banks Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:36 am

ALL NEW COUNCIL OF ODO (after a fashion)

Odo: Greetings Citizens of Little Forumshire.... Aaaaah.... breathe the free air...

Janesmith: I thought there was a surcharge...

Odo: Mad Must you, Jane? Alright, almost free! ... Is everyone here?

Mirabella: Yes, I think so. Shall I do a roll....

Odo: Never mind.... Now, Anne, are you okay as Little Forumshire Stenographer to do the minutes? You are? Excellent.... Hey! Is my jelly right? I thought it was raspberry... but this looks a bit brownish don't you think?

Orwell: And it smells of Queen's Own Buckie?

Odo: Mmmmm? Suspect ... Anyhow, must move on... I'd like to welcome you to my commodious new hole. As you can see, it's been delved by the best artisans to be found...

Orwell: Was that Bifur and Bofur I saw leaving the other day?

Odo: Oh yes... Not cheap. No, not in the least... But if one must spend a lot of money one does really have...

Porgy: It's come from the Little Forumshire Exchequer I believe.

Odo: Porgy! Must you? Rolling Eyes All we need say is that it was money well spent... Now, the reason I've called you all here is to discuss a certain matter of true Imortance.

Biffo: Twoo himpoortance?

Anne: Do you spell 'himpoortance' with two o's or just the single?

Biffo: Twoo, I thunk!

Anne: Thanks Biffo. My goodness, I must say I love this Elvish Orbelektric Quill, Odo... It must have cost you a fortune.

Orwell: Yeah -- a fortune... someone or other... Rolling Eyes

Odo: Write more talk less, Anne, if you don't mind...And you can butt out, Orwell! Mad Now, where was I? scratch

Jane: You were about to tell us why you called us all.

Odo: Oh that's right... Now... Hey! Mirabella! Do you have to stand leaning over my tub of jelly in your leather hotpants like that?

Mirabella: Did you know it smells of buckie... Ooh... it's strong too, I feel faint...

Orwell: She's fainting! I'll save your jelly Mister Banks...!

Mirabela: Hey! Get your grubby mits off me, Orwell... Aaargh!

Orwell: It's a bit watery isn't it...?

Mirabella: Do you mind Exclamation Exclamation Exclamation

Orwell: My mistake... Very Happy

Odo: Rolling Eyes

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jan 09, 2013 12:56 pm

{{{{{{{{ drunken Laughing drunken I might be able to have some fun here after all! Now what else can I spike with buckie?.....ahaha- Odo's not-so-secret seedcake stash!! Laughing drunken }}}}}}}

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Post by Mrs Figg Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:03 pm

((((((this is brilliant ! Laughing ))))))))

gosh I am seeing a worrying trend here. We seem to have Mad Mod disease and its spread to Bree! HELP somebody do something!!! fire! foes!!

ZOMBIE MODS!!!!!!are on the loose!!!!!! affraid affraid
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Post by odo banks Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:31 pm

Odo: Now that the two of you have showered - and I certainly I hope it wasn't together, something positively incestuous about that! - can we get back to this very secret council...

Mirabella: I didn't know it was secret? (Oh, and is this wooly bathrug really all the towells you have left, Uncle Odo?)

Orwell: I thought it was just 'himpoortant'? (Oh, and this face washer, well, I mean, Odo, it's rather small, isnt it? Rather embarrassing! Rather revealing, what?)

Odo: Oh shut up. Teach you to go frolicking in my fresh made jelly!

Mirabella: I never did such things... though I do have some doubts about Orwell's goingoninings!

Odo: Did you guys use peppermint scented soap or something by the way? We could smell it just before you came out.

Knock knock...

Orwell: Who's there?

Mrs Figg: Mrs Figg!

Orwell: Mrs Figg who?

Mrs Figg: Mrs Figg open the fuckin' door!

Orwell: Yes, Miss.

Hurrying furry feet, door opens.

Mrs Figg: My Gawd, Orwell, not only are you half naked, but you're far fatter than I thought!

Odo: Oh dear dear Mrs Figg. Come in. I forgot I'd invited you. But you're late...

Mrs Figg: Fashionably late, dear Odo...

Odo: Oh how droll you are! Laughing

Mrs Figg: A living doll, some say. Laughing

Orwell: I thought he said 'droll'.... Suspect

Mrs Figg: Shut it!

Orwell: Yes, Miss.

Mrs Figg: Hey! What's Mirabella doing half naked and drop dead gorgeous!

Orwell: Well, we had a little accident...

Mrs Figg: You better fuckin' not have!

Jane [diplomatically]: Cake! Odo, serve up some tea and cake --- things seem to be getting a little tense.

Orwell: Well, as I said, the trouble was, Mrs Figg, well, Mirabella happened to be standing far too near the jelly, and so I...in all innocence mind.. well, you see...

Mrs Figg: Shut it, Orwie, or I'll shut it for you!

Orwell: I didn't know it was open... [adjusts face washer]

Jane: Here they are!

Sir Rupert: Thou art wondrous seedcakes, M'lady.

Jane: Come on everyone, jump in. They look rather fresh, Odo.

Porgy: They smell rather interesting, don't they...

Mirabella: Did Primmy bake them, Uncle Odo? She makes the best seedcakes.

Odo: Both Primmy and Bella make the best seedcakes. I'm rather proud of them. And their muffins are a physical delight -- superbly moist!

Biffo: Yummo..

Odo: Must you pig away so, Bif?

Biffo: Soooree, Moon....

Orwell: They taste a bit funny... though nice sort of...

Mrs Figg: They're having a relaxing effect...

Orwell: Relaxing.

Mrs Figg: Yes, man.

Orwell [giggling]: They do make one feel rather loose and free, man.

Mrs Figg [giggling]: I'm not a man, man.

Orwell: No, you're a wom-MAN, man, not a man, man. Laughing

Odo: Cool it everyone, man.

Biffo: Did Ooodoo juz say coowell ut, mun, mun?

Odo: It must be these queer seedcakes, Jane. I'm going all funny, man.

Jane: I'm no man, man.

Orwell: Then prove it, man!

Mirabella: My gawd. Jane is stripping off... .. man...

Sir Dashing: I say, what buxom lass among you is ready for a refreshing dip in Mister Bankses jelly? Oooh man...

[lots of giggling]


Last edited by odo banks on Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:45 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:40 pm

{{{{{ drunken Laughing oh this is better than I'd hoped! There goes Jane in her undies chasing Biffo round the room! Razz drunken }}}}}

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Post by halfwise Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:47 pm

:carrot: The Council of Odo is Back!! :carrot:

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:49 pm

And mostly naked it seems! Razz

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Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



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Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Post by odo banks Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:51 am

Odo: Oh what a strange raft of daydreams I've had!

Jane: Me too... Embarassed I mean.. I never knew you could be so bendy, Odo.. Embarassed But it was a dream I'm sure.... Embarassed

Mirabella: I'd rather not talk about it...

Mrs Figg: I thought it was... not all that bad....

Odo: Hey! Orwell! Where have you been?

Door closes witn an annoyed bump.

Orwell: I've been having the absolute devil of a time. It's that Petty McCracken and his bloomin' new fangled nickolodean thingee... Why they have to use plastic now, I'll never know... and then I had to find the right vase...

Mrs Figg: Did you get the blue one?

Orwell: I did indeed... Um.. why are you sitting on Biffo's knee, pray tell?

Biffo: Nott mee kanee as sooch!

Mrs Figg: Ooh I'm perched on your.... What a surprise! I'll just remove myself ... ooooooooooooh... There we are... .... Now, Orwie, where the heck did you say you'd been? Traipsing with that horrid Scotshobbit, was it?

Orwell: Funny. I thought you were there for awhile too... scratch Never mind though! ... Anyway, I knew something was up when everyone started giggling. I figured everything would turn raunchy... so I went out for a walk... Err... having become world weary with all the rauchiness I've been a'raunch with all my adult life - and once or twice as a teenager. Embarassed

Mrs Figg: Rolling Eyes

Jane: This nickolodean thing?

Anne: I can't even spell that.

Orwell: Never mind. Why are you wearing a boa constrictor around your neck, Anne? And where, pray tell, are your chic work pants?

Anne: Oh there they are! They're on Odo's head.

Odo: I thought it was a handkerchief!

Sir Rupert: I doeth smell a rat in all this, alack!

Odo: Or maybe the dirty mits of a Scotsrodent! Suspect

Mrs Figg: I personally thought it was fun...

Odo: Oh my goodness. My jelly! It's here, there, and everywhere!

Orwel: Great title for a song that!

Anne: Should I be writing all this down? Oh dear... there's three pages that look like hieroglyphics... I thought things went a bit funny.. Where's Odo's Orbeklektric Pen by the way... Oh here it is... Embarassed

Orwell: I half wished I stayed now...

Mrs Figg. Sure. Rolling Eyes

Odo: Alright! Enough of this silliness. Back to this most important council...

Biffo: Yuss. Lutz bee a liddle butt moor serialuss!

Odo: Hmmm.. It might help bring some solemnity back to the occasion if everyone had a shower first I think.... While you're washing up, I might just find those cherry and lime jelly crystals I had delivered this morning, seeing that the raspberry has been totally ruined --- again! Mad

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