what sort of jokes can I get away with?

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed May 08, 2013 3:45 pm

Laughing

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Post by azriel Wed May 08, 2013 4:26 pm

lol!

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
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Post by CC12 35 Thu May 09, 2013 4:08 am

lol love zombie jokes

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Post by azriel Sat May 11, 2013 10:53 pm

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking . We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins? '

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody.'

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
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Post by CC12 35 Sat May 11, 2013 10:57 pm

what

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Post by azriel Sat May 11, 2013 11:17 pm

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears.

He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. Me husband passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?”

She says, “That he did, Father…”

The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”

She says, “He said, “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
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Post by azriel Sat May 11, 2013 11:21 pm





Paddy & his two friends are talking at a bar,His first friend says,

"I think my wife is having sex with the electrician. The other
day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they
weren't mine.
His second friend says,

"I think my wife is having sex with the plumber. The other day I
found a pipe-wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says,

"I think my wife is having sex with a horse

Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief

"I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under
our bed."

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
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Post by CC12 35 Sat May 11, 2013 11:24 pm

what

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Post by azriel Sat May 11, 2013 11:27 pm

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.


Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped,
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she said earnestly.

"Umph, ooh, nnoo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a minute", he
replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she
loosened his pants, and put her hands inside and began to massage
him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?

He replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
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Post by CC12 35 Sat May 11, 2013 11:29 pm

what

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Post by azriel Sat May 11, 2013 11:38 pm

There's an echo in the room Suspect

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
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Post by CC12 35 Sat May 11, 2013 11:41 pm

there's an echo in the room Suspect

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Post by Mrs Figg Sun May 12, 2013 12:29 am

lol! those are great Azriel
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Post by azriel Sun May 12, 2013 12:30 am

Thankyou Mrs Figg Laughing

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
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Post by CC12 35 Sun May 12, 2013 12:43 am

those are great

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Post by chris63 Sun May 12, 2013 2:17 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Crying-with-laughter

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Post by chris63 Tue May 14, 2013 2:55 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 601692_550415331675419_373885152_n

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue May 14, 2013 1:44 pm

Laughing

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Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Post by azriel Tue May 14, 2013 2:26 pm

lol!

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
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Post by Mrs Figg Tue May 14, 2013 8:04 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Bad-pr_zpsee3b875a
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Post by azriel Tue May 14, 2013 8:05 pm

Laughing

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
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Post by azriel Tue May 14, 2013 8:22 pm

My husband and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food..... he goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Jean-b11
azriel
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Post by Eldorion Tue May 14, 2013 8:38 pm

lol! @ Pirates/Kim Jong Un
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Post by CC12 35 Tue May 14, 2013 8:58 pm

kim Jong-un is my celebrity crush

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue May 14, 2013 9:35 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 39 Honk-honk_zps66d804b9
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