what sort of jokes can I get away with?
+10
Mrs Figg
chris63
Orwell
Amarië
Pettytyrant101
halfwise
Ally
Eldorion
Norc
azriel
14 posters
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46817
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 53
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
lol love zombie jokes
_________________
it's not that serious Caroline
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking . We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins? '
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins? '
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody.'
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears.
He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”
She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. Me husband passed away last night.”
The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?”
She says, “That he did, Father…”
The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”
She says, “He said, “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”
She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. Me husband passed away last night.”
The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?”
She says, “That he did, Father…”
The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”
She says, “He said, “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Paddy & his two friends are talking at a bar,His first friend says,
"I think my wife is having sex with the electrician. The other
day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they
weren't mine.
His second friend says,
"I think my wife is having sex with the plumber. The other day I
found a pipe-wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says,
"I think my wife is having sex with a horse
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief
"I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under
our bed."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped,
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she said earnestly.
"Umph, ooh, nnoo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a minute", he
replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she
loosened his pants, and put her hands inside and began to massage
him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?
He replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped,
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she said earnestly.
"Umph, ooh, nnoo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a minute", he
replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she
loosened his pants, and put her hands inside and began to massage
him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?
He replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
There's an echo in the room
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
there's an echo in the room
_________________
it's not that serious Caroline
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
those are great Azriel
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Thankyou Mrs Figg
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
those are great
_________________
it's not that serious Caroline
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
chris63- Adventurer
- Posts : 8748
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia
chris63- Adventurer
- Posts : 8748
Join date : 2011-07-04
Location : Perth, Australia
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46817
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 53
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
My husband and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food..... he goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
kim Jong-un is my celebrity crush
_________________
it's not that serious Caroline
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
- Posts : 3085
Join date : 2012-10-27
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
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