what sort of jokes can I get away with?

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Post by Ally Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:26 pm

The joke is a jug and the dream is a band.

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Post by Norc Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:46 pm

David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey. Rolling Eyes

erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.
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Post by David H Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:49 pm

Exactly my point! Nod
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Post by azriel Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:02 pm

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time.

The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."

The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes."

He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too."

Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no -- smallcox, too!"

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what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 37 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

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Post by halfwise Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:04 pm

Norc wrote:
David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey. Rolling Eyes

erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.

Umm...err...NO.

Blue waves are shorter than red waves. Since the air molecules are smaller than both, blue will be scattered more because it's closer to the size of the molecules (ever note how ocean waves pass right by you but ripples don't? There will be flat water behind your body when a ripple hits it). So some of the blue gets scattered in all directions, giving us a blue sky. It's a small fraction so you don't notice it missing from the sunlight.

When the sun goes down the light is passing slantwise through the atmosphere, accentuating the effect. Now you notice the blue IS missing, and what's left is red. Dust etc increases this effect.

Or you could say blue is a boy so it doesn't ask directions and goes wandering all over the place...

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Post by Norc Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:07 pm

great explenation Halfy, that's what i meant.
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Post by azriel Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:07 pm

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."

The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens."

The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

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what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 37 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

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Post by Norc Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:10 pm

Laughing
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Post by Mrs Figg Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:17 pm

Laughing
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Post by azriel Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:36 pm

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

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what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 37 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

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Post by David H Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:47 am

halfwise wrote:
Norc wrote:
David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey. Rolling Eyes

erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.

Umm...err...NO.

Blue waves are shorter than red waves. Since the air molecules are smaller than both, blue will be scattered more because it's closer to the size of the molecules (ever note how ocean waves pass right by you but ripples don't? There will be flat water behind your body when a ripple hits it). So some of the blue gets scattered in all directions, giving us a blue sky. It's a small fraction so you don't notice it missing from the sunlight.

When the sun goes down the light is passing slantwise through the atmosphere, accentuating the effect. Now you notice the blue IS missing, and what's left is red. Dust etc increases this effect.

Or you could say blue is a boy so it doesn't ask directions and goes wandering all over the place...

Or you could argue that the sky isn't actually Blue.
It's actually Grey.
It only appears to be blue at certain times! Twisted Evil

[[see what I mean CC? No simple answers. Just like pink assault weapons.]]
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Post by chris63 Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:59 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 37 13%2B-%2B1

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Post by Norc Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:10 am

lol!
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Post by azriel Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:26 pm

Laughing Laughing

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what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 37 Th_cat%20blink_zpsesmrb2cl

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Post by Ally Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:01 pm

David H wrote:
halfwise wrote:
Norc wrote:
David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey. Rolling Eyes

erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.

Umm...err...NO.

Blue waves are shorter than red waves. Since the air molecules are smaller than both, blue will be scattered more because it's closer to the size of the molecules (ever note how ocean waves pass right by you but ripples don't? There will be flat water behind your body when a ripple hits it). So some of the blue gets scattered in all directions, giving us a blue sky. It's a small fraction so you don't notice it missing from the sunlight.

When the sun goes down the light is passing slantwise through the atmosphere, accentuating the effect. Now you notice the blue IS missing, and what's left is red. Dust etc increases this effect.

Or you could say blue is a boy so it doesn't ask directions and goes wandering all over the place...

Or you could argue that the sky isn't actually Blue.
It's actually Grey.
It only appears to be blue at certain times! Twisted Evil

[[see what I mean CC? No simple answers. Just like pink assault weapons.]]


Did anyone actually get the joke?

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Post by Eldorion Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:43 pm

Ally wrote:Did anyone actually get the joke?

Actually I missed it the first time I read through this page. Laughing
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Post by David H Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:13 pm

Ally wrote:Did anyone actually get the joke?

joke? scratch
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Post by CC12 35 Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:26 pm


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Post by David H Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:00 pm

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Post by azriel Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:15 pm

I enjoyed that Dave ! Nod

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Post by Ally Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:24 pm

I always thought that The Wall was a grossly overrated album piggybacking off that song.

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Post by chris63 Tue Apr 30, 2013 5:11 am

Well said, i agree Thumbs Up

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Post by chris63 Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:09 am

Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When their kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farmers encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want their children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"

The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.

The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."

The other farmer said, "You think I don't know my own daughter's handwriting?"

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Post by azriel Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:53 pm

lol!

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Post by chris63 Thu May 02, 2013 6:48 am

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