what sort of jokes can I get away with?
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Mrs Figg
chris63
Orwell
Amariƫ
Pettytyrant101
halfwise
Ally
Eldorion
Norc
azriel
14 posters
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
The joke is a jug and the dream is a band.
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Ally- Wannabe Beard
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey.
erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Exactly my point!
David H- Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."
The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes."
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too."
Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no -- smallcox, too!"
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."
The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes."
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too."
Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no -- smallcox, too!"
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Norc wrote:David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey.
erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.
Umm...err...NO.
Blue waves are shorter than red waves. Since the air molecules are smaller than both, blue will be scattered more because it's closer to the size of the molecules (ever note how ocean waves pass right by you but ripples don't? There will be flat water behind your body when a ripple hits it). So some of the blue gets scattered in all directions, giving us a blue sky. It's a small fraction so you don't notice it missing from the sunlight.
When the sun goes down the light is passing slantwise through the atmosphere, accentuating the effect. Now you notice the blue IS missing, and what's left is red. Dust etc increases this effect.
Or you could say blue is a boy so it doesn't ask directions and goes wandering all over the place...
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Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise- Quintessence of Burrahobbitry
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
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Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
halfwise wrote:Norc wrote:David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey.
erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.
Umm...err...NO.
Blue waves are shorter than red waves. Since the air molecules are smaller than both, blue will be scattered more because it's closer to the size of the molecules (ever note how ocean waves pass right by you but ripples don't? There will be flat water behind your body when a ripple hits it). So some of the blue gets scattered in all directions, giving us a blue sky. It's a small fraction so you don't notice it missing from the sunlight.
When the sun goes down the light is passing slantwise through the atmosphere, accentuating the effect. Now you notice the blue IS missing, and what's left is red. Dust etc increases this effect.
Or you could say blue is a boy so it doesn't ask directions and goes wandering all over the place...
Or you could argue that the sky isn't actually Blue.
It's actually Grey.
It only appears to be blue at certain times!
[[see what I mean CC? No simple answers. Just like pink assault weapons.]]
David H- Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest
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chris63- Adventurer
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
David H wrote:halfwise wrote:Norc wrote:David H wrote:And why is the sky blue? Sometimes the world doesn't have simple answers, honey.
erm.. the skie is blue because it's the blue light that reaches shortest. when the sun goes down, the light has to go farther and therefore red. or something like that.
Umm...err...NO.
Blue waves are shorter than red waves. Since the air molecules are smaller than both, blue will be scattered more because it's closer to the size of the molecules (ever note how ocean waves pass right by you but ripples don't? There will be flat water behind your body when a ripple hits it). So some of the blue gets scattered in all directions, giving us a blue sky. It's a small fraction so you don't notice it missing from the sunlight.
When the sun goes down the light is passing slantwise through the atmosphere, accentuating the effect. Now you notice the blue IS missing, and what's left is red. Dust etc increases this effect.
Or you could say blue is a boy so it doesn't ask directions and goes wandering all over the place...
Or you could argue that the sky isn't actually Blue.
It's actually Grey.
It only appears to be blue at certain times!
[[see what I mean CC? No simple answers. Just like pink assault weapons.]]
Did anyone actually get the joke?
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Ally- Wannabe Beard
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Ally wrote:Did anyone actually get the joke?
Actually I missed it the first time I read through this page.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Ally wrote:Did anyone actually get the joke?
joke?
David H- Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest
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CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
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David H- Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest
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Join date : 2011-11-18
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
I enjoyed that Dave !
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
I always thought that The Wall was a grossly overrated album piggybacking off that song.
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Ally- Wannabe Beard
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chris63- Adventurer
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When their kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farmers encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want their children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"
The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.
The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."
The other farmer said, "You think I don't know my own daughter's handwriting?"
The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.
The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."
The other farmer said, "You think I don't know my own daughter's handwriting?"
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chris63- Adventurer
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15648
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
chris63- Adventurer
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