The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:21 pm

It is my solemn and sad duty to read to you the Last Will and Testament of our beloved former friend, Odo Banks.
This will has been kept sealed in the offices of Morgul, Angmar and Barad-dur and Partners and released to me certainly no sooner than five minutes ago, defineitly not any sooner, and most definetly not with enough time to make any sort of amendments to it of course. Um, anyway onto the reason for this sad gathering, the will:


The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks Will

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Post by Diamond Banks Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:29 pm

At least something good has come of this! cheers I wonder what 1/10th of Odo's wealth is in gold pieces. scratch
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:30 pm

The big head never left me anything Mad I got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome for that ungrateful man!!! Mad
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:34 pm

Dont worry Mrs Figg- I understand the fine print in his bequeathment to his wives includes eel oil as 'jelly'- so funding of your enterprises will continue. And I understand Odo's widows were already regulars at your shop.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:38 pm

Well this is mighty embarassing it appears with Mirabella, Wisey, Biffo and Orwell all gone the Mining corporation, Entertainment Holdings, and 1/3 and and 1/10th of all his wealth falls to me. Not to mention many of his hand written books (well at least I'll save on coal this winter).

And of course the rightful return of our coal scuttle and a good as admission of guilt.

My, how unexpected all this is. Embarassed

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Post by Eldorion Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:40 pm

I feel like the Administration should examine this will before handing out Odo's personal possessions to make sure that there is no foul play involved. We'll have to appoint another sheriff to help with this, though....
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:42 pm

This place is no longer respectable, who will uphold the hypocrisy now??? Will you take the Hipocritic Oath Petty? No
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:49 pm

Oh now Eldo, are you saying you dont trust Morgul, Angmar, Barad-dur and Partners? If so you can tell them that to their, faces.

And besides we have a temporary Sheriff, Pretty, I am sure she will be happy to take on any investigation into the Will you care to begin.

Sadly of course, whilst its got 6 signatures in red as the law requires they are all either no longer with us or fled, or unavailable.

And Mrs Figg there is nothing respectable about me in the slightest. How dare you suggest otherwise! Evil or Very Mad

{{{{{{{{{Hold on, why is Bella's name still on there?! Angmar! Evil or Very Mad What the hell? She's still alive, I told you to change that? Don't give me those big red eyes, this is your cockup Mad - at this rate you wont be getting all the dynamite you can eat- no. Not if the Admin finds out this isnt the real will- and why is the last bit about me the wrong size? What? You got a Balrog to typeset it? WTF! You know their half blind- look what happened to his brother, he couldnt even see that bloody great crack in the bridge! I dont care if he was only person in the office at the time- it looks supsicous! The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks 398825057
Lucky for you I got Pretty in place in case you ballsed it up again. See thats why I'm the one wearing the sporran.}}}}}}}}}}

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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:21 pm

Hey.... Suspect ....I thought there was supposed to be SEVEN signatures in red ink. Suspect . I smell a rat. Strangely peppermint infused rat, but still a rat.

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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:24 pm

Besides, as a past albeit rather temporary member of the Banks clan I think I should have gotten something. A biscuit or whatnot, but at least something.

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Post by Amarië Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:38 pm

{{{Brilliant! Laughing }}}

Dear mr. Petty Tyrant,

The Dark Planet Embassy library wishes to convey their interest in obtaining the above mentioned books and writings for the humor/local customs section.

Payment can be made in mirthril, Dark Planet Buckie (the banned kind, naturally) or coal, since you now have appear to have a shuttle to transport it in.

Sincerely, Amarië.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:45 pm

Who knows the unfathomable mind of Odo, Halfwise, turned to jelly as it was by, well jelly.

Amaria as soon as I am in receipt of all my winnings, um I mean inheritance, from my old dear friend Odo I will gladly enter negotions for the purchase of said materials. I also have some silver spoons you might be interested in. The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks 1918643206

As to the signatures Halfwise I am quite sure esteemed lawyers such as Angmar, Morgul and Barad-dur know how many signatures are required. {{{pale }}}

{{{{{{{{{ANGMAR! How many signatures should there be? Six or seven?
study
PUT THAT AWAY! Don't you know?
What do you mean you only ever needed one signature under Mordor Law- this is Forumshire law you shower of clowns. Who did your research, the Balrog again? A junior partner! Who?
"Six it wass, yesss my precious, or wass it sevenses now?"
The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks 1625187496 He can only count up to five!
"Four fingers on the Black handses precious"
Sorry, four. The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks 2276801876}}}}}}}}}}}


Last edited by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Amarië Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:51 pm

{{{Dear lord Eldo and mighty Admin. Not that I wish to stir this hornets nest of sadness and loss, but am I right to assume that the remaining 7/15 of Odo's fortune have been collected to the Forumshire fond for higher dignitaries and foreign moderators? Or could there be a second will somewhere?}}}

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Post by Eldorion Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:09 pm

{{{Dear Amarie, the Forumshire Revenue Service will have to take a thorough look at this, but it will have to wait until I'm done with classes for the day. Razz }}}
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Post by Amarië Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:11 pm

{{{ lol! }}}

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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:29 pm

has anyone gone back and looked at Orwell's old posts? I don't think his dark presence is quite gone yet.

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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:45 pm

Sad I miss Odo Banks and I want him to be Ressurected or Erected or Reincarnated asap. farao
I miss that Big Head. That Glorious Orb, that Capacious Cranium, that Fathomless Forehead, that Purveyor of Preposterous Puritanism.
OH WOE!! Sad
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:48 pm

Petty? you know Frankenstein and his monster? can you make a new Odo from all the bits of Banks you found strewn across Bree? jus askin.
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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:18 pm

hmm...the cranium is about right....

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Post by Norc Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:28 pm

like this?
The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks Frankenstein13_1833319i
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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:39 pm

Yep, throw a few stitches up and down Odo's head and you'd have the spittin' image of Borls Karloff.

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Post by Tinuviel Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:17 am

I could maybe sing a song to Mandos again and bring dear Odo back to us? I've done it once, I'm sure I can do it again Wink

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:37 am

cheers Brilliant thinking your Maj! Kind hearted and generous as always.
But perhaps if I may caution, possibly it could be seen as unethical. And we dont want to besmirch or politcise your position.

{{{{{Bugger it ! Bugger it! The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks 398825057 If she brings him back he's bound to notice the will is a tiny bit different! pale
ANGMAR! Go find out if dead people have any legal rights, especially ones that are still moving about....
study........
....Well Angmar? Got anything? Who? Give me that. study Barrow-wight v Bombadil? Bombadil was charged with breaking and entering, theft and noise pollution- the case was dismissed on a technicality because the wight was found to have been squatting. Well how is that of any use to us! The Last Willl and Testament of Odo Banks 398825057 Go find me somethng better.}}}}}}

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Post by Tinuviel Tue Sep 18, 2012 3:17 am

Not to worry! Nothing a little rasberry Buckie can't smooth over! Mandos can't hold his buckie well Wink

... Don't tell him I said that....

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Sep 18, 2012 3:27 am

{{{{ affraid I cant fight the power of buckie!! If Odo comes back it'll be the Lockholes for me!!! pale }}}}}}

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