Julia's Knight In Shining Armour

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Post by Norc Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:31 pm

quite, bloody right, Petty.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:02 pm

Never mind all this finding a fella for Figgs or Norc- what about a nice lass for a drunken Scotshobbit? Nod - I aint demanding- all I demand is someone prepared to stay in during daylight hours doing the barrel cleaning (with exceptions for necessary shopping but not to talk to anyone unless competely necessary), and who will perform their wifley duties of a night without complaint, (such as cleaning the buckie pipes- which is both a necessary practical task of a night and a euphamism at the same time) and who won't ask endless streams of questons such as 'where the hell have you been all night?" and "have you been in the Duck and Muck all day again?" and she must be someone who agrees to spend one week out of every four in a specialy sealed, sound proofed barrel a good bit away from mine.
Surely it can't be too difficult to find such a lass out there?

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Post by Mrs Figg Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:30 pm

Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 1625187496 this is the weirdest thread I ever saw.

..and I have seen some weird threads. pale
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:36 pm

So was that a yes or a no Mrs Figg? I can only keep such a tempting offer open for so long you know and these waders dont half chaff.

"this is the weirdest thread I ever saw."- Mrs Figg

And Orwell hasnt even got here yet. Very Happy

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Post by Eldorion Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:08 am

leelee wrote:Dear Eldo, I did not understand your comment. Is Orwell in love with Julia? Oh, I should have let him start up such a thread then, but what is, is.

I'm not sure if "love" is the word that I would use, but Orwell has quite interesting relationships with several of the female members of this forum. Laughing Whether or not his wife is aware of this is as yet unknown. Suspect
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:15 am

Shocked its a moot point indeed.
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:17 am

ok if anyone can find me Boromir (the real one). Rolling Eyes If not i'll settle down into madcatladyism and leave my hormones in a shoebox.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:29 am

So thats a knock back then is it?! Sad But I can still waggle my sporran with the best of them Mrs Figg (well, on a good day and with a strong southerly and assuming there isnt an 'r' in the month).

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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:34 am

silent well that sporan is rather ripe, but I suppose having a medieval nose I should be used to unusual smelling gentlemen.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:37 am

Thats why its best with a strong southerly- just stand upwind. Nod
See, now watch this.....WAHEYYY! bounce :carrot: UH-OH- {Crack} affraid OINTMENT! I NEED OINTMENT! pale

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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:44 am

Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 1625187496ointment should not be rubbed in.. affraid ...there..Embarassed ...study .. no definately not....scratch it can cause unsightly..rendeer in delicate places...or even..cherry red herm.. things.. and the smell can attract animals..albino to munch on cherry ....resulting in ...study ....oh boy!...elephant ...and cyclops
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:52 am

Owwwwwchie! pale Why didnt some tell me there was an 'r' in the month?! Extremely Crabbit I am a drunk how am I supposed to be aware of something as trivial as what month it is. Mad

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Post by leelee Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:38 am

No, no I am quite sure in my heart she does NOT in fact have a clue. She seems the type, according to what I have read here and there, that is highly intelligent, does well what she does in life and would just as easily break her beloved's arm, leg or neck as order a salad if she thought he was acting improperly toward her.
I must have missed a kazilion posts, I had no idea Orwell was involved. I meant well and still want my Julia to have the best , soon as possible.
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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:15 am

I though our Julia was married? I mean she is a Mrs after all. Or is that dragging in too much reality?

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Post by Sir Rupert Dashing Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:33 am

Methinks there may be a fair maiden - to speak so - who doth be in need of an calloused hand (or twa) upon her breast (or twa) laid unto by an Noble Knight who ist nefer callowly youthful anymore but full blooded knightly in his manlihoodeness in most of his parts? It is I - where is this maiden... maiden-like Lady, pray tell....whom earnest loving (and meybee some ol' fashion rogering) is desireth of? Shrugging
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Post by leelee Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:03 am

Now hear this sir Rupert Dashing(shiver, methinks he hath not looked into a looking glass ,,,EVER) I have a catonine tails and I am not afraid to use it. You speak politely and respectfully about Lady Julia. She does not NEED any of your rather low manner of speaking or behaving. There are a hundred knights of good heart and respect toward a lady, of true chivalry who would never speak thus to our girl. So please, turn thy horse about and ride like the wind back to the black place you have come from.
And sir i say this to you in the best possible manner , the best I can do.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:26 pm

I have a catonine tails and I am not afraid to use it.- Leelee

I knew it- its always the quiet ones. Now your talking leelee! Wink Where you want me? Moon

And Sir Rupert if there is any rodgering to done about here we will get Roger in to do it- assuming we can find one- but certainly not a Rupert which is a fluffy bears name.
Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 _1013091_rupert150

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Post by Norc Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:33 pm

rupert grint?
Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 Rupertgrint_wildtarget
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:45 pm

/Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 Tumblr_m89mx4x44J1rwj1d6o5_400

Rupert Graves?
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:47 pm

/Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 Tumblr_l0cb68mmcX1qzgpdko1_400

Rupert Friend?
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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:50 pm

/Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 Rupert-everett-06

Rupert Everett?
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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:07 pm

He's gay, which means every woman wants him.

I do so distinctly remember mention of a husband pottering about. have things changed? Or am I being naive even thinking that has anything to do with finding a KISA?

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Post by Mrs Figg Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:35 pm

you remember correctly Halfwise, indeed I am on husband no.2 to be precise. The first one ran for the hills. who'dathunk it? Julia's Knight In Shining Armour - Page 2 3392635135
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Post by halfwise Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:47 pm

Here I was hoping that since Blake Lively is off the market it's only a fair trade to have Figgy back on the market. Two hopes dashed in one day....

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:56 pm

Its always the way Halfwise- all the good eel wranglers are always taken. Sad (on either side)

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