Percy and the Sword in the Stone

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:40 pm

Percy was bored and hot. The swimming pool was full of dead leaves and leg kicking flies, he didnt fancy getting a mouthful of fly so he decided to go for a ride on his mountain bike. maybe there was a bit more breeze up the hill, it looked nice and cool and shady under those pine trees. Percy was on holiday with his parents and little sister in a crumbling old villa in a small village near to Siena. They always came to Tuscany for the school hols, it was beyond boring, no computer, no tv, no nothing but hotness and cicadas chirping. His parents loved it, they lay on the terrace reading papers and sipping wine, they were ok, but Percy was itching to get back home and normality, nature always seemed so uncomfortable, nasty bitey insects and "going for walks". Rubbish. His sister Lily was ok too, she was easily amused being 8, all she had to do was follow him round the villa being annoying to get her jollies. Percy got the dusty bike out of the shed and wheeled it down the long white gravel drive, he didnt want a thousand questions, or worse, his sister to follow him whineing for icecream. once out of earshot Percy rode quickly through the village, being midday it was a ghost town, everyone with any sense was inside eating lunch, or having a snooze, the heat was baking and shimmers floated on the tarmac road. "Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun", he remembered his dad liked to sing that song in the bath. Well even the mad dogs were sleeping today. Percy rode up the hill, a silence hung under the dark canopy of the pines and he had the sudden feeling of being watched, Percy swung around expecting a blow to come from behind him, there was nobody there. His heart racing Percy cycled through the dark resinous shade to a point of dappled sunlight. and there among the trees was a little stone chapel, it was round with a little coned roof. The door was open and inside was a sight that Percy would never forget as long as he lived.

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Last edited by Mrs Figg on Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:36 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:31 pm

Mrs Figg starting a story? I like whats there but need more!! What did he see? I MUST know and soon Mrs Figg.

(And if I had ever bothered taking my mod powers seriously rather than drunkenly putting it off till later I would move it into its own thread in Creative Corner- but I am sure Eldo can oblige you in that as he at times can seem almost competent at such things!)

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Post by Eldorion Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:45 pm

I'm intrigued by the start of your story, Mrs Figg. Smile The description of the weather and the setting were very evocative to me; it was brief but I felt like I could get a sense of what it was like from your writing. Also, Petty is correct, I'd be happy to split this into its own thread if you like.
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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:55 pm

okay dokey, i was hestitant to start its own thread in case its crappy. just mucking around really. Embarassed Embarassed
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Post by Eldorion Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:25 pm

I'd love to see more if there is any! Very Happy Also, if you want me to change the title of this thread, just let me know. Smile
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Post by Orwell Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:34 pm

Mrs Figg wrote:okay dokey, i was hestitant to start its own thread in case its crappy. just mucking around really. Embarassed Embarassed

I've never let my crap stop me posting a thread, as everyone here can vouch for, Mrs Figg. Very Happy But what you've done is definitely NOT crap. Not by a long shot. If I can suggest one thing though - you might break up your paragraph into smaller paragraphs when you come to edit. Otherwise (and my quibble was really only a very small quibble anyhow), I think this is a great start to a tale! Very Happy

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:43 pm

Percy walked slowly up to the doorway, it seemed to take an Eternity to get to the door, his feet felt like blocks of lead, the cold was sudden and ferocious, and cold sweat covered his body. Before his unbelieving shocked eyes was a Knight, a medieval Knight! he was armoured from head to foot in black iron, his visor was up and percy saw that the Knight had tears running down his face, tracks of white in his dirty face. In his hands, bare of armour to the wrists, he held a sword, he was in the act of thrusting the sword into a rock, a huge piece of granit, with a great cry of effort which resounded through Percys head like a tower bell, the sword sliced into the stone like butter, there was utter silence The Knight turned to Percy, and was no more. Percy stood there too dazed to move or think, he was alone, warm air flooded into the little room, and slowly Percy backed out, the sun on his back felt like a return to reality and normality. His legs suddenly felt like jelly and he sat down on some tufty grass before he fell over onto his bike. He wished he had something to eat, something sweet, was the only thought in his stunned brain.

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Last edited by Mrs Figg on Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:46 pm

erm I just posted something on the other creative corner thread oops i didnt see this new one, yikes. Embarassed
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Post by odo banks Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:49 pm

Mrs Figg wrote:Percy walked slowly up to the doorway, it seemed to take an Eternity to get to the door, his feet felt like blocks of lead, the cold was sudden and ferocious, and cold sweat covered his body. Before his unbelieving shocked eyes was a Knight, a medieval Knight! he was armoured from head to foot in black iron, his visor was up and percy saw that the Knight had tears running down his face, tracks of white in his dirty face. In his hands, bare of armour to the wrists, he held a sword, he was in the act of thrusting the sword into a rock, a huge piece of granit, with a great cry of effort which resounded through Percys head like a tower bell, the sword sliced into the stone like butter, there was utter silence The Knight turned to Percy, and was no more. Percy stood there too dazed to move or think, he was alone, warm air flooded into the little room, and slowly Percy backed out, the sun on his back felt like a return to reality and normality. His legs suddenly felt like jelly and he sat down on some tufty grass before he fell over onto his bike. He wished he had something to eat, something sweet, was the only thought in his stunned brain.

Oooh I feel like I'm reading this tale backwards! Shocked (I'm intrigued! Keep going, Mrs Figg! Very Happy )

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Post by Eldorion Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:52 pm

Mrs Figg wrote:erm I just posted something on the other creative corner thread oops i didnt see this new one, yikes. Embarassed

Not to worry, I merged that post in here too. Smile
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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:52 pm

crikey! Very Happy
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Post by Orwell Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:57 pm

Odo tried to give Mrs Figg a hand, but the post he was responding to he tells me didn't exist! Shocked I swore it had! Suspect Now I know what happened... Laughing

This reminds me of that scene where Elrond recites the Ring poem in the LotR movie, actually. Did you move that too, Eldo? Very Happy


Last edited by Orwell on Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:59 pm

Lets not go there again Orwell! Mad

Fine stuff Mrs Figgs looking forward to more. Very Happy
This is one of the things I love most about this place- it brings the creative out in folks and everyone has it in them. Nod

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Post by odo banks Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:02 pm

And what better than a wholesome, imaginative and entertaining Arthurian-type tale. My favourite kind - after Tolks, of course! Very Happy

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:20 pm

Percy stood up, his heart was thumping painfully in his chest, and beads of sweat rolled into his eyes. He groaned and picked his bike up, and stiffened, adrenalin pumping through his body, as out of the corner of his eye, something moved, someone watching him from under a dusky hooded robe. The thing whatever it was retreated, melted behind a pine tree, "hey you"! was all he could think to shout in his panic. A pair of icy blue eyes contemplated him, through him, searching, asking questions that Percy knew no answer to. "Hey what do you want"? Ill call the cops you freak", Percy was very afraid now, he knew he did not have the energy to run, his legs were threatening collapse. The figure swept forwards from under the darkness of the trees, only the eyes glinted. A scream was welling up inside, a feeling of fear and rushing madness was upon him.

"Are you he?", are you truly come? The voice that came from the figure was low and melodious. As soon as Percy heard that voice, he knew that he had nothing to fear, the voice was kind and sad. It was a question that seemed to have been waiting to be asked for centuries, it was a question that had the damp smell of old stone, of musty books, and candle wax. It was a question that thrilled Percy to the core of his being, it was a question that Percy knew that he had been waiting to hear and would have waited to hear until the day he died.


Last edited by Mrs Figg on Sun Jan 20, 2013 7:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Mirabella Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:24 pm

Mrs Figg wrote:Percy stood up, his heart was thumping painfully in his chest, and beads of sweat rolled into his eyes. He groaned and picked his bike up, and stiffened, adrenalin pumping through his body, as out of the corner of his eye, something moved, someone watching him from under a dusky hooded robe. The thing whatever it was retreated melted behind a pine tree, "hey you"! was all he could think to shout in his panic. A pair of icy blue eyes contemplated him, through him, searching, asking questions that Percy knew no answer to. "Hey what do you want"? Ill call the cops you freak", Percy was very afraid now, he knew he did not have the energy to run, his legs were threatening collapse. The figure swept forwards from under the darkness of the trees, only the eyes glinted. A scream was welling up inside, a feeling of fear and rushing madness was upon him.

"Are you he?", are you truly come? The voice that came from the figure was low and melodious. As soon as Percy heard that voice, he knew that he had nothing to fear, the voice was kind and sad. It was a question that seemed to have been waiting to be asked for centuries, it was a question that had the damp smell of old stone, of musty books, and candle wax. It was a question that thrilled Percy to the core of his being, it was a question that Percy knew that he had been waiting to hear and would have waited to hear until the day he died.

Ooh so interesting. You must keep going, Mrs Figg, you must.... Very Happy (Orwell sends his best wishes too, he's just too lazy to log on at the moment! Rolling Eyes )
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:26 pm

"A pair of icy blue eyes contemplated him, through him, searching, asking questions that Percy knew no answer to."

Very nice indeed.

"It was a question that seemed to have been waiting to be asked for centuries, it was a question that had the damp smell of old stone, of musty books, and candle wax."

Love that it reads almost like a nursery rymne or something, love the rythmn.

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Post by Mirabella Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:31 pm

Yes. Can only agree. You must keep going, Mrs Figg. But please don't get bogged down with any idea of "making it perfect"- not yet. You must let it flow! It's working that way! Very Happy
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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:40 pm

"I, I dont know, there was a knight, he disappeared, whats going on? this is mad". Words tumbled out, Percy started to shake, his voice sounded very childish and silly, Get a grip Perc, he thought, this bloke is obviously an old monk or something or an actor. Then he remembered that the monastery was ruined, there had been no monks for hundreds of years. The only relic of the Abbey of San Galgano was the chapel with the Sword in the Stone.
He suddenly felt totally alone and wanted to see his folks, boring suddenly seemed so comforting. "who are you, and who was the Knight, are you making a film or summat? even as he said the words he knew the truth was going to be beyond his comprehension. "anyway I have to go, my dad will be wondering where I am, probly call the Polizia and stuff if i dont get back". er nice to meet you, bye then". Percy swung round and pedalled, pedalled his bike, like the hounds of hell, or a really nasty Rottweiler was snapping at his heels.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:59 pm

Liked everything bar the end of the very last line Mrs Figg- seemed more a jokey comment and didnt sit with the tone for me (but this is a mild nitpick to be smoothed out at a later day- the flow and narrative remain top-notch).

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:07 pm

Later that evening Percy surprised his Mother for the second time that day, during dinner Percy had suddenly started giggling uncontrollably, and trembling and talking of old monks and questions. his mum had sent him to bed thinking that he had taken too much sun. When he had walked in at lunch time he had hugged her for the first time since he was Lilys age, and said she was a cool mum.

Percy slept deep that night, so deep that he felt that he had fallen through the Earth, far far away and would never come back. Stars glinted in the inky sky and fell like diamonds towards the Sea, the Sea so dark deep, fathoms deep, and lonely and strange. The stars whispered and told him their names, the Sea murmered and told him of lonely seabirds, of storms and shipwreck, of bells in the night. and in his dream came the voice of the monk, Are you he, are you come at last? Percival.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:08 pm

OOh a tale of the best of the knights no less!

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:11 pm

cheers for all your kind comments you guys, this is the first time I have written this story I had in my head, just goin with the flow. Very Happy Embarassed
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Post by Mirabella Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:12 pm

Mrs Figg wrote: Percy slept deep that night, so deep that he felt that he had fallen through the Earth, far far away and would never come back. Stars glinted in the inky sky and fell like diamonds towards the Sea, the Sea so dark deep, fathoms deep, and lonely and strange. The stars whispered and told him their names, the Sea murmered and told him of lonely seabirds, of storms and shipwreck, of bells in the night.

Very nice, Mrs Figg. Very Happy
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:14 pm

Back to the wall, privates in the fire- brings out the best in us Mrs Figg! Just go with it and let any trepidation feed the creation! Very Happy

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