Superfriends Of The Ring

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Eldorion
The Wobbit A Parody
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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty Don't ask

Post by The Wobbit A Parody Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:11 am

Spam, Odo? Never!

Well, not any more than ever before. Actually, my personal life has been kind of haywire lately and I'm not interacting with ANYONE as much as I should. Not even digitally.

And by "digital interaction" that I mean "over the internet" and not "with my fingers."

I will stop writing, before I go into details about my prostate exam.
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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty Re: Superfriends Of The Ring

Post by Orwell Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:14 am

The Wobbit A Parody wrote:I will stop writing, before I go into details about my prostate exam.

Just jesting, Paul? All's well, I hope.

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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty Re: Superfriends Of The Ring

Post by The Wobbit A Parody Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:26 am

Thanks for asking, Orwell!

Actually, I have to go talk to my urologist next week about my treatment options. As this sort of thing goes, I could be in much, much worse shape. Glad we caught it early and so forth.

Enough already. I would hate to put a damper on Mirabella's wedding!

Again, I appreciate your concern, and thanks.

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Post by Eldorion Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:31 am

I liked your version of the going-away party and speech, Paul! Very Happy I was unsure how you were going to handle a scene that was already quite funny in the original but I like how you made it work.

Also, best wishes with whatever medical concerns you have going on. My thoughts will be with you. Smile
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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty Re: Superfriends Of The Ring

Post by Orwell Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:11 am

Ditto, mate. Good luck.

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Post by The Wobbit A Parody Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:21 am

Thanks everyone! So far, so good.
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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty #9 Bulbo Packs His Things (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Post by The Wobbit A Parody Wed Feb 08, 2012 4:41 am

Every Bunkins, Boffo, Dork, Buckiebrand, Blobb, Slobb, Churros, Bulger, Buttcruncher, Craphouse, Widebody, Hornhonker, and Smellfoot began to talk at once. Mostly they were asking where the dessert carts and Elvish Coffee were. Everyone talked except Promo. He had enjoyed Bulbo's joke, but didn't say so or laugh out loud; he thought it was more of a publicity stunt than a joke. This was too bad, since Bulbo had intended to sneak out of town. To help still some of the controversy, Promo ordered that Pantsoff's huge supply of distilled spirits be quietly added to all punch, beer and wine. Given the appetite of the normal wobbit, many of them would forget about Bulbo's joke by morning, if they remembered the evening at all. Before a mickey could be slipped into his beer, though, Promo drained it and left quickly. He didn't want to have to dodge any of Pantsoff's final fireworks.

As for Bulbo Bunkins, you probably realize without being told that he had disappeared using the golden ring you're familiar with; the very magic ring that he had acquired on his journey with the Dwarves of Smithibank as detailed in his book There Goes My Back Again. After getting the wrong ring on the first try, he slipped it on his finger, disappeared, and was never seen by any wobbit in Wobbiton again, much like Hootie And The Blowfish.

He walked back to his below-ground condo, listening with a smile to the ka-booms of very low altitude fireworks and the shrieks of slow-moving party guests. Then he stepped down through the "al-u-minium" screen door into his home. He took off his tuxedo and put on a worn out dwarven cloak and some tattered corduroy pants so old the corduroy was worn smooth in many spots. He pushed some old Smithibank t-shirts aside in a dresser drawer and found an Elf Army Knife with multiple tools and the traditional red handle. It was only a pocket knife, but for a wobbit it was the size of an average shortsword, or perhaps a very short longsword. Large as it was for him, it fit discreetly into a pocket of the ancient pants.

For the last lines of the scene, visit my spamhog weblog: http://thewobbitaparody.blogspot.com/
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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty #10 Bulbo Finally Leaves Wobbiton (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Post by The Wobbit A Parody Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:14 pm

"You've left the party, Pantsoff!" said Bulbo. "The frozen Margaritas must have run out."

"No," said Pantsoff. "There was just no sense in lingering. Too many sloshed wobbits looking for fights as they staggered to their waggons in the parking lot. I'm at a point in my career where I can't be seen duking it out with someone half my height. Did you like my concluding fireworks?"

"I loved watching those rubes run for their lives!" said Bulbo. "But why did you add the popcorn effect to my disappearance? My relatives thought you turned me into Fiddle Faddle!"

"And then they gathered you up and ate you!"

"They like a good snack," said Bulbo. "But it spoils my joke if they suspect you of foul play!"

"Since when is disappearing a joke? I'd call it more of a stage illusion. It's also a great way of drawing attention to the ring you've kept secret since the SmithiBank gig at the Only Mountain. Bulbo, I never know what you're going to do next!"

"I'm going on vacation. I am old, Pantsoff. Not as old as you of course, but old. I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it. Come to think of it, I've known you for decades and you've been an old man the whole time. What's with that?"

Pantsoff shrugged.

"Like I was saying, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean, like when I joined that yoga class by mistake. I need a change! I want to see mountains again, Pantsoff—mountains. I want to see them through a large window in a ski resort, as I sit in a recliner by a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine. I'll be able to finish the Deluxe Reissue of my book, with a new ending: and he lived happily ever after to the end of his days."

Pantsoff laughed. "That has to be an improvement over all the other endings you tried: After all, tomorrow is another day or Pantsoff, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, or That'll do, pig, that'll do. But nobody will ever read the book, however it ends. The excerpts you posted were horrible!"

"Promo read them, and he thought they were great!"

"He has to," said Pantsoff. "He's your sole heir. He doesn't want you to write him back out of your will."

"Good old Promo. You'll keep an eye on him, won't you, Pantsoff?"

"Yes, I will—two eyes, and a foot on his neck, as often as I can spare them. He's a tweenager, after all. If only I weren't so busy with my research on your ring. Say, where is the ring, anyway? We had a deal, you were to give it up."

"Oh, it's here," said Bulbo. "And Promo will get it with everything else: the condo, the rootball cards and collectibles, the investments with SmithiBank, and of course the silver, gold and all the jools."

"The what?"

"I'm sorry, the 'jewels.' Daddy Shortlegs long suspected I had them, but my stupid gardner has been denying it for years. I'm leaving him and his son to Promo, too. They'll be his problem."

For the rest of this needlessly long excerpt, visit my webspam weblog: http://thewobbitaparody.blogspot.com/
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Superfriends Of The Ring - Page 2 Empty #11 Promo's Afterparty (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Post by The Wobbit A Parody Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:32 pm


"Bulbo Bunkins has left the building. He is leaving Wobbiton to pursue other interests. Unless your name is on the posted list, get the hell off my lawn." Promo called their names one by one, and handed out some deeply disappointing gag gifts, reading the labels aloud:

For BORA BUNKINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bulbo; on a flaming bag of dog crap. Bora's annual holiday letter was so self-serving that most of the Bunkinses quickly threw it away unopened. Bulbo hoped that the humor (or "humour" as the wobbits would say) of his gift would be appreciated by all.

For LADLELARD DORK for his VERY OWN, from Bulbo; on a flaming bag of dog crap. Bulbo was insecure as a writer, so he telegraphed his jokes by capitalizing the punchlines. Ladlelard never picked up after his dog, an immense dachshund. Immense, relative to a wobbit.

For PHYLO CHURROS, hoping it will be useful, from B.B. on a flaming bag of dog crap. Phylo enjoyed leaving flaming bags of dog crap at his nieghbor's front doors on All Hallow's Eve.

For the collection of OUZO BUTTCHRUNCHER, from a contributor; on a flaming bag of dog crap. Ouzo collected flaming bags of dog crap, and his collection was admired throughout Wobbiton. At least, by wobbits that liked that sort of thing.

For EARLOBIA SNACKBAG-BUNKINS, as a PRESENT; on a flaming bag of dog crap. Bulbo had taken a lot of crap from her over the years, and now could return the compliment with impunity.

Bulbo had hoped to indulge his love of irony by selecting an individualized and truly insulting gift for each recipient. But as is so often the case, he waited until the last minute and then had to make do with whatever was at hand. He had been busy with the party, after all. At least the notes were personalized.

For the rest of this needlessly long excerpt, visit wehttp://thewobbitaparody.blogspot.com/
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