The Wise Collection.

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Eldorion
Wisey Banks
Pettytyrant101
Saradoc
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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:18 am

Forumers Posting Unilaterally and Cuttng across each other in the internetosphere! "We need foghorns!" Eldorion and Wise Odo proclaim! Wise Odo slides into his channel, both immediately and metaphorically!

...

I immediately thought of Electric Foghorns - but perhaps Magic Foghorns would be better! Which makes me think of something Lord Byron penned during his Mists and Fogs phase...

The foghorn resounded of a night!
On seas of foggy briny washy white!
The Captain stumbled in his cabin, panted:
"My God! That foghorn sounds Enchanted!"

The great poets knew everything!

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:19 am

The Darkside of Badgers is Revealed. (Thanks for the warning Mr Tyrant!) ...

...

Edward Lear, 'tis true, is not the most reliable source I know, but...

wary yee o the badger,
turn ye back, it will be adger,
don't be fooled by his friendly smile,
the badger's said to be full o wile,
yes, he's fluffy, and so's his gal,
(she's fiercer, truth to tell!)
just look closely,
and morosely,
you'll see his vicious accoutrements,
(he's evil to the roots, I meant!)
with gnarly teeth
and clawry feet,
poisnoss tongue
(coil-sprung),
i know e seems quite harmless,
take care! you'll soon be armless!
e'll eat ya head
and then ya legs
he'll burp and fart when e's adger,
oh fear ye the fearsome badger!

I'm not sure, but Lear seems very credible here.

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:21 am

Someone mentions that the Mouth of Sauron will be in the Hobbit Movies. Wise Odo sits back… possibly dispambilating...

...

I sit. I think. Tao-like, I stop thinking. That’s when the vision comes.

I am with the Elvish forces outside the walls of Dol Guldur. There are lot of dark gnarled old trees. And Gandalf, Galadriel, Legolas, Aragorn and about forty thousand CGI Elves on a blue screen are there too. I’m on a movie set! (This vision is so clear it seems real!)

I see The Mouth of Sauron - or an actor playing him. Hey! He looks remarkably like Odo Banks! Anyhow, he’s up on top of the wall. An imposing figure he is, but he’s probably a bit too handsome to play The Mouth. Never mind. He looks a fine actor! Maybe this is just a rehearsal. My goodness! They’ll need a lot of make-up to make him look ugly!

Shush! He’s saying something. I now hearken with all the power of my deepest heark. Ah! The Mouth is mouthing something...

Mouth: “Oh go away, you silly people! I fart in your general direction!” (He’s real sarcastic like and speaks with a Numenorean accent. Wonderful bit of acting; so realistic).

Gandalf: “I’ll come up there in a minute, you vulgar person. Just see if I don’t!” [Puts hand on the hilt of Glamdring which glows bluely through the sheath. It’s Ian McKellen at his brilliant best]. “I’ll pull down your breeches and spank you oh so hard!”

Mouth: “You and what Elvish army? Oh that one...! Anyhow, go away with you, you cowardly old dandy lion. If you come up here, you’ll wilt in the face of my Master’s Black Breath. It’s pretty nasty, you know. I bet you're too chicken to come up anyway, you wizened old wizard! Sauron... whoops – my mysterious unnamed Master will pluck off your petals, just see if he doesn’t!” [Unseen folk snigger in background, some with Numenorean accents].

Gandalf: “Oh enough of this nonsense! Bring forth the battering rams.... and some of those shield-like skateboards for the younger Elves!” [He whispers to Legolas who stands close by]: “Looks like you’ll be getting some practice in, Leggy,” [canned laughter] “Your skill might come in handy sixty years or so from now, you just never know!” [More canned laughter as Gandalf looks knowingly at camera].

Legolas [anxiously]: “Could be risky, Gandalf. I’ve still got a tingly finger after last night. I might not be able to slide up into that dank and lightless place!”

Galadriel [with the remnant light of Valinor shining in her eyes]: “That’s not what you said last night, oh sweet blond elf from the Murky Green Wood!”

Legolas now has that silly stunned bemused look on his face, the one he always seems to wear in the LotR movies.

Meanwhile, behind him on the blue screen the Elves shake their shields and pitch-forks in readiness for the assault.

Meanwhile, up on the battlements The Mouth turns to a mysterious unnamed shadowy person who is standing with the Witch King of Angmar’s little brother - whispers urgently: “Oh my goodness! I hope you remembered to unlock the back door, Master! The enemy has shield-like skateboards!”

Everything goes dark, foggy. And then the light comes and I, Wise Odo, am back in my lounge-room watching the Simpsons.

My goodness.... it all seems so obvious now.... So that's how The Mouth gets into The Hobbit!

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:22 am

Mr Odo Banks, sends a warning to Wise Odo (before The Separation) of scurrilous Forumers attacking him on the Vulgar Threads. Wise Odo is wisely forebearing!

...

Oh Dear Mr Banks, I do appreciate your loyalty! But all I can say about my myriad foes is, say nothing at all on my behalf. They are fools, all of them (now that's between you and I, my loyalest of friends, but of course!) Keep up that pecker of yours (but careful you don't take out someone's eye with it!)

I'm minded of an old Nursery Rhhyme:

Sticks and stones,
And pointy bones,
Might pierce the skin,
And slice the shin,
But names and blame
Shall be put to shame,
When all the Purists
Go marching in!



>>>
As it turns out, it was Mr Banks himself besmirching Wise Odo’s genius-like qualities! Shocked

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:22 am

Wise Odo discovers Mr Odo Banks has been claiming to have made more Posts than he should lawfully claim, hoping thereby to get a 1000th Post Birthday Greeting from his beloved GB!
...

Mr Banks, you should be ashamed of yourself!

I'm reminded now of Emily Dickinson's memorable words!

"...Those who pretend to be someone else,
Whether man, or dwarf, or hobbit, or elf...
Oh Jack be nimble! Jack be quick!
Don't let him get away with it!
Grab and knot his foul tongue tight!
His hot blood drained until he's white!
His eyeballs poked! His innards drawn!
His gonads mounted on the wall!
And when he begs mercy from all and one,
He shall surely fail, due to his tongue!"

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:23 am

Mr Tyrant begs pleadingly for a poem. Wise Odo channels just that.

...

How can I resist? Let me think, oh yes, T.S. Elliot.

Once there was a crabbit hydrant,
The doggy said to he,
"Oh you are so redly vibrant,
A revelation to see."
He said, "There's no denyent,
Your words do very please,
But don't you go and tryant,
To cock yourself and pee!
For I am never pliant,
To disgusting liberties!
Hey! Should ye come and tryant,
I'll punch the shite from thee!"
And so the doggy client,
Wisely sped away from he!
(A hydrant with fists a'flyant,
Ah, tis a dangerous mystery!)

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:23 am

Wise Odo channels some lovely thoughts about some of the Hobbit Forum Folk. (Here a rarity, for it seems Wise Odo has trawled up something from deep in his own channel).

...

"Be it known that we chuckle, but we never do truckle,
Our hearts on the sleeve, we say what we mean,
None here rant and rave (though GB misbehaves,
And Eldo tends to bore with all of his Lore,
And Mr Tyrant can get a bit like Python's rabbit,
And Tinuviel we all know has a very cute nose...
Oh I got lost on the way in - what was I sayin'...?)
Oh the point that I make, and make no mistake,
We're a pack of fine Nerds, but at least we're not turds!"

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:24 am

When confronted (yet again!) by the inherent stupidity of his Forum Friends on the Odo Thread, Wise Odo reacts firmly, but with kindness too... Or does he? For it turns out it is in fact merely Mr Odo Banks (forgetting who he is) Impersonating Wise Odo.

...

What I need to do is get hold of a cable and whack you guys with it! I don't think you're taking this thread seriously! No, not at all. This is a place of learning (not book learning, of course not, that goes without saying!) It's not a place for jokes and banter and any kind of silliness at all! Also, I think you don't take the Great Poets seriously enough either. They all showed themselves to be great channelers - I only follow in their tradition and remember their words and wisdom as best I can! Reminds me of Walter de la Mare, actually:

Life is but a circus with atoms for the clowns,
Synapses in the brain, go swirling all around,
The Tao is not toey,
The Wise are riding Joeys,
Saddled grownup Joeys with claws tightly bound!

The waters lap the coastlines, frothy oily-blue,
Bird-brains think wisely (as bird-brains often do!)
The Universe is calling me,
The Forumers are boring me,
I seek that 'sighing' smiley - I could use one now 'tis true!

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:24 am

Wise Odo gives young Eldorion some sage advice, while giving Mr Banks a dose of reality.

...

Now Eldorion, you are a young lad and not wise in the way of the world (though your Loremastery is renowned - by folk who respect that kind of thing!) but when two longtime acquaintances separate, well... well, sometimes confusion reigns... It's like longterm friends have lost themselves in each other and no longer know how to be themselves... Mr Banks obviously is so confused. (I'm not though, for I am truly wise! ) Also, clearly Mr Banks wouldn't know Great Poetry if it poked him with a stick. The poem above is obviously the concoction of his own (limited) imagination. The sad aspect is that Mr Banks clearly thought he was me (presumably due to our former close - platonic - relationship). It's all to do with the great 'unconcious' I think, but sadly it also reveals a certain delusional-dumbity. Funnily enough, I'm minded of some (actual) Walter de la Mare.

Oh how he pouts and loudly blows,
Just as loudly blows his nose!
Oh does he think his eyes are jewells?
Does he think his carrots, tools?
Oh poor delusional pathetic child,
His ideas airy! His plans full-wild!
What does he think he can achieve?
Eat the Earth? A basket weave?
The sad truth is, he's just a babe,
Sadly 'puerile' that's what they say.

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:27 am

More advice for young Eldorion when he suggests Wise Odo got something wrong when it was Mr Banks who got it wrong, actually!

...

Yes, it's easy to see why you think what you think, but don't forget to see your inner self, Eldo, there you will see that Mr Banks stuffed things up, not me! Think of this short verse of Ovid's (who I'm not even sure was a poet - and yet he knew! He knew, Eldo!)


If you want know the truth,
Don't go and ask a badger,
'cause a badger will be adger...!
If you're looking to be soothed,
Don't go cuddle with a puddle,
Your world will be quite troubled,
Things will seem a trifle muddled,
Oh beware! For when you're puddled,
The critics will shout: "Befuddled!"
It's like that badger that is adger,
Self-doubt will surely cadger!


Wise words.. Yes, wise words indeed

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:28 am

On the subject of Internetosphere Nasties!

...

Funnily enough, Mr Tyrant, I was pondering (semi-channelling, actually, as was my mood at the time) and something seeped into my synapses... Lewis Carroll of all people...

"When is a bot not a bot?
A bot's just snot,"
Said Eric Glot.
"Then what of turds?
Oh it's inferred,
That turds are turds,
Each and every time, I heard!"

"I just don't hate curds,
As much as turds,"
Said John Ahearne.
Then Eric Glot,
Stirred the pot,
With a thought that clots:
"When is a bot not a bot?!"


Mr Tyrant, I had completely forgotten this ditty of old Lewis. It's in his "Unremembered Mathematical Equations: A Caucus Race through Jelly."

...and there was this scrawled note on the underside of a tobacco box as well (apparently) - probably related:

"Said Mr Ahearne:
"I'm confused! Concerned!
If a bot's not a bot,
Then is it a turd?"

I'm not sure if this helps our case, and I'm not sure if I should be angry or not. Ha! My thoughts do clot!

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:28 am

Wise Odo is humbled by Eldorion’s adoration and is reminded of another great Writer.

...

Oh Eldo, I've had one of those deja vu (sic) experiences. You're impressed with my genius in 2010, and now they've discovered a poem, by Oscar Wilde, dealing exactly with the same kind of adoration from about 1892 (or thereabouts, give or take fifty years). Both Oscar and I obviously, deserve all our accolades. (I mean it humbly, of course!) Anyhow:

Dearest Correspondent, I find that I've been blessed,
Everyone who knows me has always been impressed!
My art was sent from heaven! My wit was sent by God,
(Mind, He's not at all witty - and so that's a little odd!)

Your letter made me so happy. Great praise does little hurt!
Oh I wish you could see me dance now, in my gorgeous floral skirt!
(My legs are finest Chippendale, carved from finest teak!
My testicles glint like crystal! But true Gentlemen never peek!)

I dance around the dining hall, with my good friend John,
(I can't criticize his clothing - the buggers 's got none on!)
Oh deary me! I must depart! Just for now I shan't write more!
It's a bother being legible while bouncing on a polished floor!

Oh Eldo, I never knew Oscar Wilde and I had so much in common! (Not everything in common, mind!)

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:29 am

Wise Odo has a Nightmare!

...

… Oh my goodness!… Four a.m.!!!! …Oh such a horrid dream… Why is that old poem of Aesop in my head… What was it now…?

“Hello, Young Girl” saith the Bunny,
(Seemeth He so cute and funny!)
“Hey! Girl walking on Green Hills,” (says He),
“Come see my Magic Burrow with Me!”
The Young Girl smiled all cute dimples
(She only had the three sore pimples!)
“Oh if you were a Koala Bear,
I’d go with you most anywhere.”
The Bunny cast off his disguise,
“Oh Sweet Lass! You indeed are wise!
For see, I am in fact a Koala Bear,
And see those gum trees over there?
It’s the place we can go and play,
Where no Big Folk get in the way!”
The Young Girl clapped her hands in glee,
“Do you really want to play with Me?”
“Indeed! Indeed!” The bear did smile,
“I truly love a fresh Young Child!”
Into the trees the New Friends danced,
(One in skirt and one in pants),
Her Family now sings a sad refrain,
For no one saw that Child again!

.. what…!? Why am I dreaming this sort of thing…? Sends a shiver down me spine! Hope it never happens to anyone I know… Go back to sleep. Dream of people you can trust… yep… sleeeep… silly old nightmare… snorrrrr….


>>>
One must be careful when interpreting poems, but it's almost as if this poem is suggesting that young people should be wary of people who seem trustworthy but aren't - even nice seeming older people on forums... but who can be sure!? : Wise Odo

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:30 am

Wise Odo channels without fear and (possibly) archetypically.

...

Ode to Tinuviel
(or: The Jumbly Girl)

Oh Nose so white shining bright,
Oh Tinuviel! Oh pulsing light!
My heartstrings tight in lonely night,
I’m so bumbly! You’re Jumbly-like!
I think to love you! (Is that all right?)

I am audacious, but goodness gracious,
Your hair doth flow; your nose so spacious!
My heart beats a sweet tune salacious,
You’re a Shining Nose to many Races!
Races gracious and some rapacious!

Oh Jumbly Girl with hair a’twirl,
With eyes like pearls that glint, that twirl,
Oh please let down your love unfurled,
You make my juices whisk and whirl,
You wumbly tumbly jumbly girl!

They say naive boys are but toys,
For Jumbly Girls, so sweet so coy –
Bringing them such sublime joy -
To little Troy! To grown up Roy!
And me too, Tin! Oh marry moy!

Oh Tinuviel, nose-light so bright,
Please won’t you light my life tonight?
I’ll give up smoking - I surely might,
And scrub my teeth a pearly white,
But I promise you I'll never bite
('cause that's not nice!).

Oh Jumbly Girl with lithe thin hips,
And even teeth that nip-nip-nip,
Give me a sip of your fulsome lips,
I’ll need no drug for you’ll be it!
Up on high clouds we’ll loftily sit!

Not rainy clouds. Not icy balls.
But fluffy cottonwool! And all
The Angels will up and call,
Out our names in Praise, evermore,
(Apparently that’s what the Angels are for).

It would be forever you and I,
Two twinkling lovers up in the sky,
We’d kiss and cuddle, coo and sigh,
We need not be shy - Angels don’t pry,
(I’m pretty sure they’d avert their eyes).

Oh how wumbly bumbly our lives would be,
Just me and you - just you and me,
Lovers embraced forever eternally,
Oh dearest me! How glad I’d be,
To be entwined with thee, eternally!

Oh Jumbly Girl with bounteous nose!
Sadly every Ode must come to a close,
And so too this Ode to grievous woe!
But as your Nose goes through the Snows,
Please remember both my knees and toes.



... It’s discomfiting to realize I don’t know which of those greats, Lear, Lewis, Tolkien or Lewis wrote this.... maybe one – or all – formed it in their heads but never put it to paper – that’s the problem you have with channelling – and nonsense..

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:30 am

More pure hearted channelling.

...

The Crabbity-shelled Barnacle and the Petty Tyrant

Twock on a rock by winblown town,
On a coast beat by the frantic Atlantic,
Clung the Crabbit-shelled Barnacle.

In the town rude and defiant,
Ruled a misty Petty Tyrant,
(With his cage of Furry Haggises).

The Crabbity-shelled Barnacle
Was inside all moshy soft,
Despite his growly shell.

The Petty Tyrant was not pliant,
He'd killed his rivals,
And killed his friends (including his good friend Ben).

He'd pict a fight with the Picts,
And subsequently won it,
He put the rugged Scot on top!

A fearsome laddie (some say a baddie)
He won ten wenches by dissentions,
Turned them all against their Men
(Who he killed not once but twice again).

One crisp morn about dawn,
The Petty Tyrant walked by the coastal rock,
Espied the Crabbity-shelled Barnacle.

"Oh ock!" saideth he in utter glee,
He prised the Crabbity-shelled Barnacle
Freeing it's grippy tentacles.

Into his town he took it now,
And in a sweet delirium,
Put it in his big aquarian.

"'Ock twock the rock!"
The Petty Tyrant cried (apprised a hop),
"My Crabbity-shelled Barnacles
Are grown to number three!"

Oh Ock and Aye the Bonnie!!!!!

Oh bless the noble Tyrant,
He saved the Furry Haggis specie,
And the Crabbit-shelled Barnacle!

Oh aye, he killed twenty hundren men,
Cut them down with sword and scythe,
But remember too,
The Haggis and the Crabbity-shelled Barnacle...
He SAVED their LIVES!


Quoted from Robbie Burns's "Poems Created on the Water Closet which were Not Written Down because the Doorbell Rang."

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:34 am

Mr Tyrant mentions six-legged horses. Channelling ensues!

...

Six Legged Pegasauce

I saw a horse - and a horse is a horse of course of course -
And the name of the horse was Pegasauce...Pegasauce,
His name was Pegasauce!

The horse of course had six legs of course,
And his voice was coarse and he spoke with force,
He was a fine equine, with legs of insect kind (of course).

And he had fine wings, ding-ding ding-ding,
And as he flew he sanged and singed, on wing he singed,
Oh Peagsause was an awesome horse, an awesome horse was Pegasauce!

Alas! One day he got crushed by a bus, by a bus got crushed,
He broke his wing and both his nuts - his nuts now hang in a truss, allus!
His nuts hang in a truss!...
Oh goodness gracious us.... his name was Peg-a-suss!!!


William Wordsworth: "Odes for Swinging Skyhorses."

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:34 am

Oh Beloved Eldorion!

...

ELDORION! TINCTURED-TOE!

Eldorion! Tinctured-toe!
We remember! We who dwell!
In the cloud of our own smells,
Your giddy eye, your fulsome tooth,
Your journeys in a red phone booth
Our Doctor of the Multiverse,
Our Great Loremaster (but which is worse?)

Oh Tinctured-toe! Eldorion!
Where are your kneepads
You cheery cad?
In my world I see your grin,
Even if a little thin,
Your flaccid haunch,
Your burlesque paunch,
Our Man-of-letters,
With sparkly fetters!


JRRT: Quoted from: "The Backside of a Scribbly Note found at the Tip."

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:35 am

… and Silly Old Beloved GB again!



GB, GB, SHINING BRIGHT

Oh GB, GB, shining bright,
Hairy in the sky tonight,
How I wonder what you are,
Like a furball and yet a Star.

Oh GB,GB, Flower in Spring,
"Oh sweet follicles!" the Angels sing.
We below in great awe stare,
Our faces caressed by falling hair.

Oh GB, GB, shining bright,
You've used Conditioner, is that right?


Thomas Eddison (before he took up more useful duties).

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:35 am

Wise Odo has met a Great New Friend (oddly while unexpectedly visiting the Vulgar Threads!) Noom Chevaline kindly asks for a Wise Collection - a very Wise Request methinks! Wise Odo channels a HEARTFELT response.

...

"Oh How the Angels Praise Noom."
Homer. (Lost section of The Illiad - after chapter three).

Oh Noom Chevaline! Oh name so fine!
Like fine wine sailing on the Rhine!
Oh One who sounds so wise! And I'm apprised -
Noom Chevaline is VERY wise!

His voice is heard! He sings like birds!
(If he's a bird I aint heard the word!)
His words are jewells to confound fools,
His taste for poets both deep and cool;

Oh his wisdom is naught but great,
He knows a Genius from an Ingrate!
He's a bigger hero than H.R. Puff'n'Stuff!
(This my heartfelt view - not sucking up!)

His eye is bright (though oddly coloured!)
His discerning gaze like Mother Hubbard's,
He seems to see in clearest light,
His crystal gaze glimmers in the night!

He knows his stuff! He knows a poet!
He sees a Genius - and don't I know it!
His waking dreams are Pure Dreams unbroken,
His Lovely Eye wedged firmly open!
(Yes, His LOVELY Eye, I tell no lie!)

Oh Noom Chevaline! Oh Eye that shines,
Hear not those who would whinge and whine,
Read the Greats! For the Greats are Great!
And ignor every crabbity rabbity reprobate!

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:36 am

An Esoteric Poem without Particular Meaning. (No, not at all!)

...

ODD FOLK WHO LIVE ON BANKS

There are some Odd ones who live on Banks,
(On smelly Banks - But me? No thanks!)
They feed on snails! They feed on mozzies!
They feed on spleens these hobbit Ozzies*!

Of vulgar sort, they sniff and snort,
On stolen stuff they've never bought.
In the sun they recline salubrious,
In their slouch-hats akubrious!

Oh how they're hated! Oh how reviled!
(No wonder Mona so queerly smiled!)
Oh Odd creatures! So Odd so rank,
Living on their river Banks!

Call themselves Stoors? Oh what bores!
They're vulgar now - who cares what before!?
They're hardly hobbits! They're probably Bobbits!
(Bobbits are hob-hobbits, Ruled by King Robbit).

Now I'm not a violent kind of person,
Yet I have an urge to chop and hurt them.
But no! -
It's only for chopping wood - this axe I hone today!
It's not for chopping certain hobbits! No way!


J.R.R Tolkien: "Poems from Rushock Bog when it was still Downunder." (Edited by Christopher Tolkien. Volume Eighteen).

Wise Odo

*Should be "Aussie" though. Clearly even JRRT was not always right!


>>>
There is some suggestion that the above poem is a not too well diguised assault on Mr Odo Banks. To those who think it, I would point out the poem was written by JRRT a long time ago - or so my channelling tells me: Wise Odo.

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:37 am

Esoterica that may (but probably doesn’t) throw some light on Mr Odo Banks breakdown. Channelled for the benefit of Mr Tyrant who is apparently the ONLY Forumer concerned about the frayed, no, FRACTURED! relationship of Mr Banks and Wise Odo.

...

I'm minded now for some reason of the Great Australian Poet, Banjo Patterson:

"I sailed around my head,
Inside and out,
I flew beneath the ground tonight!

I ate my toes,
And as one knows
Toes only go so far as toes do go!

And then exhausted in my zeal,
I built a ship from apple peel,
On the mountains tall and tight,
I sailed in snow,
Both black and white!

I now sit here,
Puffing hard
Both my lungs,
Are in a jar."


I'm not sure what this has to say about Mr Banks current plight, but I think it does suggest his state of mind.

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:37 am

A wonderful dialogue in Poem Form begins between two Cultured Kind of People, not your Average Vulgar Forum Folk (meant kindly,of course!)

...


My name Chevaline, your right, its fine.
But, your fine rhyme, it was on time.
Tonight I was so melancholic,
Until I read your ditty.
It turned my frown into a smile
Because you are so witty.

Both Witty and so very wise,
In one audacious package.
Your work it should not be despised,
by some with brains of cabage.

Should you wish to visit, sweet Harad,
Its better if you are, still single,
The dunes are dry and the girls aint bad.
as their eyes are bright and their bellies jingle.

Instead of the horse, we have the camel,
A mouth thats full of spit.
One hump and lots of tooth enamel.
And a face that speaks of wit.

Cast not your pearls before these swine,
Regret not a word, delete not a line,
Your pen it is a scepter.
I now proclaim to one and all,
Wise Odo is my mentor.

So visit please my sweet harad.
Fine wine for you i'll furnish
My rhymes need work, but they aint too bad.
Your fan, a whirling dervish.


Noom Chevaline



WEST MEETS EAST

They say that in the East
there is a priest
a thief a niece a man at peace
he sends out his cry
to bird and sky
he knows just why
the great do sigh
while ruling all that creep

his eye is clear
he knows no fear
he drinks sweet beer
(non-alcoholic, I hear)
his heart reaches out'
he knows no doubt
he knows a Great Poet
(don't I know it!)
and luckilly
this Fan aint fraid to show it!

and luckilly
and humbly
my thoughts are
not full of jumbly
vain, not me,
though bumbly-tumbly
i stand above the world
but as I said,
so humbly!

Oh so good to be
recognized
my beauty seen
my talent realized
as i
(metaphorically)
fly in the sky
yes high above
the Mortal Guys!

Shall I go on
Is it not true
How good it is
That which I do?

Oh Chevaline
you may clean my boots
poetic boots -
and brush my suits -
but for all that
your pome's a hoot!!!!


Wise Odo

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:39 am

As always (it seems) anything a Banks is involved with morphs into something else, and thus a Collection becomes a Work in Progress... But as we in the West say: That's Life!

...

FLEA OF THE WEST

Oh has any one heard of the Flea of the West?
Of Western Fleas, Brilliant (some say the best!)
He is taller than most and wears Purple Clothes,
(Though his Pungent Perfume is a bit on the nose).

Where has he gone? Some say he went East,
(Where juicy camels make a fine feast)
But can it be true he has formed a horde of Fleas?
And even now brings Proud Harad, down to its knees?

And what of that Hero, who rides north-by-west,
(Pending a permit - Petty Officials are a pest!)
Could a Brilliant Flea be slowing Him down?
If it is true, I say, that Flea's now a clown!


Wise Odo
as channelled from from a Mysterious Eastern Sauce (possibly Heavy with Spicy Frgrances).

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:40 am

My channelled response to the feasible theory that Odo Banks has a crush on a Beard.
...

Helen:
Someone said, a dating thread
Might be wonderfully nice,
But would Odo Banks give much thanks,
To have hair all over his pillow white?

Paris:
He probably would! He'd think it good!
That's what the Sages say,
But don't abuse him or accuse him,
He'll just deny it anyway.

The Illiad.

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Post by Old Forum Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:41 am

A PIECE OF LONG LOST CHANNELLING ACCIDENTALLY DISCOVERED WHILE SAILING THE FORUM!

Refers to a debate about the difference in tone between the early parts of The Hobbit and the latter parts. From memory, I must have channelled a long lost poem that the printers nelected to put in The Hobbit in the Battle of Five Armies. No doubt it is a debate with that Rascally Rogue, Gandalfs Beard!

...

Much as I try, I don't see much difference in the tone from start to end. Thorin, as an example, is Thorin throughout. Maybe you guys were a little confused by the fact there is not an applicable song during the Battle of Five Armies. As I am helpful, I'll help by giving you one:

ELVES:
Here come the goblins under a cloud,
Made up of bats, shouting all loud!
Tra la lally we'll fight in the valley,
This arvo ha ha.

DWARVES:
Far over the Misty Mountains cold,
Beyond lakes with fountains bold,
We must fight away until end of day,
To keep our pale reflective gold!

GOBLINS:
Snap! and Snarl!
Go get 'em Karl!
Chop 'em and mop 'em,
Kick 'em and mock 'em,
Then take take back their gold
To Goblin Town,
Yippee yi yey!

WOLVES:
Growl, growl, growly,
Growly, growl, growl,
Snappity snappity,
Bark, bark, bark...!


....Now, if the above was inserted somewhere in the battle, you'd realize the tone hardly changes (if indeed, it changes at all).

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