Home (a story by Petty)

+15
Little Loki Panic
Norc
Mrs Figg
Amarië
Pseudo-Kafria
Kafria
leelee
Orwell
Eldorion
Ally
The Wobbit A Parody
Tinuviel
Ringdrotten
odo banks
Pettytyrant101
19 posters

Page 6 of 8 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next

Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Orwell Wed Feb 11, 2015 11:39 pm

I must ask Odo, he'll know. He owns Our Lady of the Ankle-length Frock Home for The Aged and Most Needy, which runs at a healthy profit I'm told, so I assume he leaves no stone left unturned when it comes to providing the best and most caring care, including looking after his employees fairly and compassionately as well, not to mention having very fair pay rates consumate with the extremely long hours of good work they perform. He sub-contracts to Shagrat and Sons, a perfectly respectable company that run things very efficiently, thank you very much, or so Odo believes, as he prefers not to go there himself. He is a very busy Ozhobbit after all. Very Happy

_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8895
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 103
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:06 am

Is that the old Banks Clan smial that was supposed to be condemned because of flooding, you know the one down by the Bog with the soggy flooring?

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by odo banks Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:32 am

Perfectly good accommodation for the quality of folk who live there - that is, old people unable to work anymore! I mean, if they were respectable people, they'd be staying at Lofty Golden Hall Retirement Villa and Spa in Bywater! (Not exactly cheap, but my prices are more than fair in my opinion - and if old silvertails want to retire to Gondor and get more bang for their buck, they're quite free do so. For Eru's sake, some do!) The Forumshire Council is regulations mad! Of Course Golden Hall is perfectly appropriate for lovely well-to-do Hobbits, but Ankle Frock suits it's clientele perfectly as well. Threats of closure! Why? Makes no finacial sense at all! And where will they live? Oh the hobbitmanity! The Council has no heart! Mad These austere times are not easy for poor burghers like me! Sad I do have some nasty wet holes, I guess, but they're hardly fit for hobbits - though it's why my rates are so reasonable. Smile

_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks
odo banks
Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole

Posts : 1487
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Mrs Figg Thu Feb 12, 2015 11:48 am

can I put my name down for your nasty wet hole Mr. Odo? Smile
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by halfwise Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:31 pm

Shocked

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19293
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Mrs Figg Thu Feb 12, 2015 4:33 pm

What a Face
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by odo banks Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:06 pm

For a lovely young refined Lady like yourself, Mrs Figg, I'm sure I could come to an accommodation. Very Happy Would a nasty wet hole filled wth the ends of worm suffice? They are certainly my cheapest. Nod

_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks
odo banks
Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole

Posts : 1487
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Mrs Figg Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:30 pm

no worms please. No I want a worm free hole.
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by odo banks Fri Feb 13, 2015 3:13 am

Not a problem, Mrs Figg. I have the place if you have the funds. I have a wide range of accommodations available. If top-of-the-range is your desire, Golden Hall has some vacancies.... and even if Ankle Frock is closed down, there is still Last Breath Boggy Barracks, Hopeful Care Villa, and Hopeless Care Villa... anf there are others, may others. Though I can't say everything is going well in the industry, and it is not as profitable an area of commerce as it was like before 'caring' types like Petty McCracken started making noises!  Rolling Eyes I mean, what about caring more about small businesshobbits like myself? Sad  But never mind, I'm sure we can find something suitable. Something very wet and wormless would seem to suit, hmm?   Very Happy

_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks
odo banks
Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole

Posts : 1487
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by halfwise Fri Feb 13, 2015 3:41 am

Wet and wormless, but no stranger to visitors? You need visitors that go in and out quite frequently, several times a week sounds about right; especially in the evenings. Prime visiting hours, that. Nod

_________________
Halfwise, son of Halfwit. Brother of Nitwit, son of Halfwit. Half brother of Figwit.
Then it gets complicated...
halfwise
halfwise
Quintessence of Burrahobbitry

Posts : 19293
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : rustic broom closet in farthing of Manhattan

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by odo banks Fri Feb 13, 2015 4:35 am

Not at one of my accommodations, Mister Halfwise, as I don't own halfway houses or backpackers, I own retreats for the aged and for the mentally infirm. We have strict rules about comings and goings, including not letting families know what's going on as we know what we're doing and don't need their untrained thoughts and suggestions and complaints. Too distracting to the efficiency of my operations. And I certainly don't like my old people doing anything, except sleeping, which saves their energy by having less time to eat thus reducing obesity and helping my ends meet. The only company Mrs Figg will need is her pussy, or pussies, if, as I understand it, she is a woman with the mainfest good fortune to have more than one. She, of course, would be expected to feed her own pussy (pussies) using her own resources. Neutral

_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks
odo banks
Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole

Posts : 1487
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Bluebottle Fri Feb 13, 2015 3:51 pm

My advice, Figg. Don't sign anything until you've had someone read it over. There seems to be a lot of prohibition of activity contained in the small print that might severly limit your enjoyment of the property. Shocked

_________________
“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500
Bluebottle
Bluebottle
Concerned citizen

Posts : 10086
Join date : 2013-11-09
Age : 35

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Mrs Figg Fri Feb 13, 2015 7:07 pm

hmm if you could squeeze me in one of your premier rate holes with a view over the building site opposite. My pussies like to watch the nice men bend over to pick up their bricks.
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Feb 13, 2015 7:34 pm

You do realise thats where Biffo Banks works dont you?! Shocked

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Biffo Banks Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:36 pm

Wee hove za bust brocks een Fooroomsheer ut Bunkz  Puddustools un Brocks. Very Happy

{{{Mussuz Fugg, eyed bee carful ov witch loya yu yuzd}}}

_________________
Fookinell! Oo pooshud mee downza minshaff? Mad
Biffo Banks
Biffo Banks
Braneyobbit

Posts : 148
Join date : 2011-02-14

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:52 pm

Biffo! I thought Odo had trapped you down a mine shaft somewhere. But no here you are, safe, well and as intelligible as always. Nod

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Biffo Banks Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:12 pm

Aye! Un brocklayin for Nunkle Oddu! Tho' hee coont uffor too pae mee ut tha momunt doo to za Glooble Fununshal Maltdoon... bot "Fumlee iz fumlee, Beefo, un won moost tytin wonz balt for za fumlee good soomtims," Nunkle Oddu saez. Ime cooruntlee eructin a wootch toowa nuxt door ta Wethools Sleepee Retreet. Very Happy

_________________
Fookinell! Oo pooshud mee downza minshaff? Mad
Biffo Banks
Biffo Banks
Braneyobbit

Posts : 148
Join date : 2011-02-14

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Mrs Figg Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:24 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:You do realise thats where Biffo Banks works dont you?! Shocked

Biffo has a tiny tail, it cant be him. No
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Biffo Banks Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:58 pm

Ooy! Huv so! Orl Ozhobbertz doo! Itz wot suts uz apurt! Mad

_________________
Fookinell! Oo pooshud mee downza minshaff? Mad
Biffo Banks
Biffo Banks
Braneyobbit

Posts : 148
Join date : 2011-02-14

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Orwell Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:59 pm

Biffo, of course, refers to all Ozhobbits of Scots descent. Nod

_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8895
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 103
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:17 am

Hey my tail is fine large, round, hairy and changes colour with the seasons from blotchy blue to blotchy red, and from yearly bath to yearly bath from shiny and pink to dull and browning No And during midgie season its mainly a painful red rash Evil or Very Mad But its a proper Scotshobbits arse I can tell yi! Twisted Evil
None of your Aussie fit arse malarkey, if Eru had meant us to have fit arses he would have made them with proper muscles and less fat and he wouldn't have made deep fried food fall straight onto them. Nod

Although it is acceptable for the Ladies of the Ankle Length Frock Sixth Form volley ball team- as thats in the name of sport Nod

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
[/b]

the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 45241
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 50
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Orwell Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:23 am

And I would never want it any other way.

_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8895
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 103
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Mrs Figg Sat Feb 14, 2015 1:46 pm

I think Petty has a vestigial tail too. But its got a patina of kilt fuzz and caked buckie juice.
Mrs Figg
Mrs Figg
Eel Wrangler from Bree

Posts : 25224
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 92
Location : Holding The Door

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Bluebottle Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:52 pm

Biffo Banks wrote:{{{Mussuz Fugg, eyed bee carful ov witch loya yu yuzd}}}

I'm sure that's libelous. Suspect But no court in forumshire would take it seriously, or pretend to understand a word of what it says. Rolling Eyes

_________________
“We're doomed,” he says, casually. “There's no question about that. But it's OK to be doomed because then you can just enjoy your life."
Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Tumblr_msgi12FPjq1s8au6qo2_500
Bluebottle
Bluebottle
Concerned citizen

Posts : 10086
Join date : 2013-11-09
Age : 35

Back to top Go down

Home (a story by Petty) - Page 6 Empty Re: Home (a story by Petty)

Post by Orwell Sat Feb 14, 2015 10:42 pm

Some say Biffo is an idiot savant, or, at least, half of one. Useful characteristic to have if one is charged or sued, methinks. Very Happy

_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8895
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 103
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Page 6 of 8 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum