The Song of Orwell

egads
lads
and dads
not bads

Tally-ho

Sadly, not in situation to write just now,
But soon I'll return and then it's POW!

Eldorion wrote:The Battle (part 1)

The night was old, the stage was clear
The crowd had drank many a beer
Yet Orwell felt not so much cheer
In fact he thought things rather queer

It should have been the awards show
By this time but it was not so
A youth stepped up from the front row
To rob him of that happy glow

Young Eldo climbed onto the stage
And faced Orwell of vaunted age
Then to the crowd: "I turn the page
and end the reign of this old sage"

Orwell’s response: a mighty scowl
And quiver from chin to his jowl
Barely suprressed a mighty howl
At this outrageous grievous foul

"I don’t know who you think I am
Or why I reign in this program
But I’ll return you to your pram
If you’re so smart you’d better scram"

Eldo just laughed: "oh sacre-bleu!
Your sell-by date is overdue
That’s why I’m here to launch a coup
I’ve got more rhymes than your whole crew"

Orwell reached back into his mind
"You’ll be surprised what I can find
in here and I might be unkind
But you’ll soon learn I’ve not declined"

Eldo replied "Your style’s dated
Rhyming structures antiquated
All my lines are metricated
Hearing you makes me frustrated"

The Battle (part 2)

Now getting flustered, Orwell said:
"I’ll bust your swollen little head
Unless you say sorry instead
And then run back home to your bed"

"Now listen here, old Jackaboots
You got too comfy, put down roots
But I’m here with new attributes
To puncture all the empty suits

"And I’m hungry for the glory
Of dethroning the old, hoary
Order that just like a Tory
Keeps repeating the same story"

Young Eldo raised his arm up high
As the crowd stomped and cheered and cried
But Orwell always was quite sly
And never had his tongue been tied

"You have some talent I admit
And not a little stock of wit
But if you think I will submit
You’re quite the stupid little git

"This is my house, these are my rules:
I do not lightly suffer fools
And if you think to take my jewels
You’d better have the greatest tools

"I’ve rhymed against the very best
Petty, GB, and all the rest
I do not find your verse a test
All that you’ve said I could have guessed"

Eldo paused and contemplated
Then said "I see why they rated
You so high, yet I’m unsated
My style can not be truncated

"I’ve mastered flow and each letter
I leave no doubt I am better
And really quite a trend-setter
While you’re my creative debtor

"I chose this fight and set the terms
And each new verse only confirms
What’s known by Eagles and by worms
I make the forms and give the burns

"Come follow with me if you can
I’d never turn away a fan
But don’t forget you are less than
I rule the roost and am the man!"

Orwell stepped back, his face turned pale
He felt the need to drink an ale
Or maybe ten, until the gale
Of Eldo’s verse had passed like hail



To be continued...

Ooooh fuck-a-duck Now Im cussing
What a ruckus, what a fussing,
Eldo & his mighty pen,
Orwell, most persistant of men,
Will see this through
this mighty duel,
Lets sit right back
And watch the flames
As Eldo & Orwell think up names

The Skirmish


Some who lack in all worldliness,
Can't be taken in all seriousness,
For he, totally lacking experience,
Brings us all a yawning weariness.

Wit? A bit! And he does have grit,
Challenging our brilliant wordsmith,
Who needs no rule to measure with,
Plays he with meter as he sees fit.

His rhyming doth ride madly forth,
Whimbly rhyming 'wart' with 'horse',
No perfect rhyme, I say, of course!
True poets will e'er stop at nought!

N'er think a Prince of Poets to humbly say,
That a young upstart, tho' smart and gay,
Is a worthy rival, however slick and brave,
With his boyish metrics, so quaintly plain.

A battle? Oh dear! What a mighty laugh!
I fight bigger battles in my soapy bath!
With my gigantic penis as Chief of Staff,
Metaphorics? Just so! I'll pound his arse!


Channeled effortlessly (well, almost effortlessly)
By
Wisey Banks

azriel wrote:Ooooh fuck-a-duck  Now Im cussing
What a ruckus, what a fussing,
Eldo & his mighty pen,
Orwell, most persistant of men,
Will see this through
this mighty duel,
Lets sit right back
And watch the flames
As Eldo & Orwell think up names

Very nice,  Azriel.  But you jest, of course! For you know only too well that I would ne'er e'er call Littlepindick names. Ne'er e'er. I'm not like that. I have too much respect for Warty Nose to call him names!

Once Upon A Time
there was a battle
twixt two chaps
with a rhyme
they rhymed up
they rhymed down
they rhymed
all around the town
cut and thrust
til they bust
and were thrust
in the dust
and cussed
but were we fussed
oh no dear reader
we were nonplussed
the rhyming grew bolder
the sweat grew colder
I could a'told yer
it would finish in tears
m'dears.

And it seems the third way, the peaceful way has been all but forgotten.

{{{Glad that Wisey and crew are in such top form! Though I do have my work cut out for me...}}}

oh woe is me
all this poetry
left me in a spin
i'll put mine
in the bin
but do I care
if my rhyme
is not fair?
do I buggery

You do buggery do you, Julia.... Mmmmmmmm.... very interesting.....

Very fine poetry btw! This is turning into the literary equivalent of the Battle of Five Armies!

Look everyone.. This is what hatred looks like.. This is what it does when it catches hold of you..

Hatred is not always bad, providing you turn it to the purpose of doing good works, Blue. And, surely, putting that young upstart, Eldo the Impertinent, back in his box is good work!

Forumshire's best poet is Orwell
At least in the stories that he tells
But his verses I find
To an unfevered mind
You could really just say that they smell



{{{I hope you know that in reality I've always been inspired by your stuff, Orwie. }}}

Bluebottle wrote:Look everyone.. This is what hatred looks like.. This is what it does when it catches hold of you..

I had to Google that line

Come now, Eldo - you're so wobbly you've not even stuck to your precious 'meter'!

It's a limerick, it's not supposed to be in the same meter.

{{{On a side note, I did not consciously set out to write those poems in the same meter as Green Eggs and Ham but once I realized that had happened it kind of cracked me up. }}}

Oh how sweet your naïveté is. You know that limericks have their own meters, don't you? Oh the sweetness of your poetic innocence!

All, all of a piece throughout;
Thy chase had a beast in view;
Thy wars brought nothing about;
Thy lovers were all untrue.

Eldorion wrote:

Bluebottle wrote:Look everyone.. This is what hatred looks like.. This is what it does when it catches hold of you..

I had to Google that line

What I want is for the humans and the forest to live in peace!

Um.... Eldo. I've heard nothing from you for awhile. Does that mean I've won?

Of course, one should be gracious in victory. But how would Trump react? Oh yes...

Sorry Orwell, I've been busy building a model of Hogwarts in Minecraft.