what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

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Post by chris63 Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:41 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 2 9+funny+joke

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Post by Ringdrotten Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:45 pm

chris63 wrote:what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 2 9+funny+joke
 slap laugh

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Post by chris63 Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:52 am

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 2 IMG_26536928111635

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:14 am

:facepalm: 

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Post by chris63 Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:31 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3] - Page 2 2014+-+1

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:39 pm

Laughing 

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Post by bungobaggins Tue Jul 15, 2014 6:02 pm

Two priests are out driving one day when they get pulled over by a police officer.

The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters"

The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says:

"Alright officer, we'll do it"

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Post by azriel Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:38 pm

:facepalm:  Laughing

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Post by chris63 Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:15 pm

Me, my wife and our 2 children have always got the shits. Runs in the family.

I stormed out after I had a massive barny with my wife, all because I wouldn't help with the spring cleaning. I'll wait til the dust settles before I go back.

I'll never learn how to skydive. I lose all concentration with the instructor breathing down my neck the whole time.

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Post by chris63 Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:17 pm

my wife said I only want sex when im drunk.i said that's not true sometimes I want a kebab

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Post by chris63 Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:21 pm

Yesterday I had 3 bacon sarnies for breakfast, I ate 4 ham rolls and 2 pork pies for lunch, then I had gammon and sausages for tea. Pigged out all day I did.

I've suddenly decided i'm never going to eat a hot christmas dinner ever again. I'm going cold turkey.

Just got back from the doctors. He said I'm gonna die soon unless I stop putting oxo cubes in my bath. I think you only live once, so I've got one foot in the gravy already.

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Post by chris63 Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:35 pm

What do you call a man that cries when he has a wank...a tearjerker

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend ......wiped his arse

What do you call a IT teacher that abuses his students......a PDF file

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Post by azriel Sat Jul 19, 2014 5:44 pm

:facepalm:  Laughing  Laughing Your a nutter !

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Post by chris63 Wed Jul 23, 2014 5:32 am

Something for Petty on the dance floor.

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Post by Eldorion Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:00 am

Very good! He won't have to rely on a chicken to hold his buckie anymore. Nod
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Wed Jul 23, 2014 11:04 am

And that chicken is always dipping its beak in my buckie too  Mad 

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Post by azriel Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:26 pm

Getting my mother-in-law to accept a free foreign holiday was easy. The hard part was convincing her Dignitas was Swiss for spa.

I’m not saying the mother-in-law’s ugly but she went to see that film the Elephant Man and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

MY mother-in-law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her but he didn’t have enough petrol.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:41 pm

Laughing  (especially the last one)

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Post by azriel Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:15 am

took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud’s Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, ‘Keep her moving sir, we’re stock-taking’

“I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her.”

“My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.”



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"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:34 am

Keep her moving sir, we’re stock-taking’


 slap laugh 

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Post by azriel Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:07 pm

What do you call a vertically challenged person who's escaped from a high security prison & can commune with the dead ?

A small medium at large

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:32 pm

:facepalm: 

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Post by Eldorion Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:34 pm

Laughing
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Post by Norc Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:44 pm

i loved that joke Laughing
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Post by azriel Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:51 pm

Laughing 

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